


Panic And Patch Me Up

by intothewind



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boxing, Alternate Universe - College/University, Boxer!Even, Boxer!Jonas, M/M, Smut, Swimmer!Isak, Threesome - M/M/M (maybe)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-22 04:40:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 70,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12473700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intothewind/pseuds/intothewind
Summary: The thing with Jonas is complicated, but the thing with Even isn't making it any easier.





	1. This is How it Starts

**Author's Note:**

> song inspo: Sex: The 1975

“I hate him.” Isak tells Jonas.

 

Jonas doesn’t say anything, he’s heard those three words so many times, he pays them no mind anymore. Instead he focuses on the way Isak’s pushing him down, so he can climb up and into his lap.

 

“Why can’t he just live with you?” Isak whines, spreading his hands over Jonas’s chest.

 

“Isak.” Jonas sighs, “I already have a roommate, and yours transferred before the year started.” He reminds Isak, crossing his hands over his head as he looks up at him, “And Even needed a place to live.”

 

Isak makes a grunted, stubborn noise despite the warm hand Jonas is sitting on the small of his back. “C’mon, Isak.” Jonas encourages him, when Isak doesn’t respond to it, he lets himself fall back onto the pillows. “He’s a good guy.” Jonas tries again.

 

Isak rolls his eyes. He’s lived with Even for almost five weeks and he’s yet to the see the good guy Jonas keeps promising him. Instead all he’s had to endure is the Even who plays his music too loud in the morning and stumbles in drunkenly at 3am with no regard for Isak’s sleep or schedule. So yes, Isak sort of hates him.

 

“Doesn’t he have other friends he could stay with?” Isak continues on, ignoring Jonas’s hand moving up to sit on his hips.

 

He knows Jonas is trying to distract him, to get him to end this conversation. It’s what Jonas always does whenever Isak mentions Even, and it works. It’s how he got Isak agree to let Even move in and it’s how he’s getting Even to remain his roommate.

 

“I’m serious, Jonas!” Isak pushes his hand off him. As much as he wants to welcome Jonas’s warm hands, and put their alone time to good use, he can’t. “He’s terrible.”

 

Jonas hums, nodding like he’s agreeing, but Isak knows he's doing it just to get Isak to move on. He reaches forward ready to kiss Isak when Isak pushes on his chest so Jonas falls back onto the mattress.

 

“Isak.” He hears Jonas complain when he begins to move off him.

 

“Okay.” Jonas sighs, his hands catching the back of Isak’s thighs, stopping him from moving off him, “Okay.” Jonas stops him, “I’ll talk to him.” His hands are keeping Isak on top of him when Isak lets out a breath of relief.

 

Jonas must feel it because he smiles, “Now.” Jonas moves on, sliding his hands up the bare skin Isak’s shorts have put on display. “Do you want to waste the time Even’s actually out of the room talking or can we do something better?” Jonas suggests, a smug, curled lipped grin taking over his face, as the tips of his fingers brush the skin above Isak’s shorts.

 

Isak fights the blush spreading across his cheeks when Jonas realizes he’s giving up and giving in. They kiss in silence until Jonas’s hand presses a little too high up on Isak’s legs. He rubs along the smooth skin of his inner thigh, letting his hand climb a little higher so his thumb faintly catches the outline of Isak’s cock.

 

Isak draws in a shuddery breath through his nose, lips still pressed to Jonas’s. He presses closer, lips kissing harder. Then, Isak pulls back, slowly letting the distance grow between them.

 

“Don’t fucking tease.” Jonas grits out in faux annoyance, threading his hand through the back of Isak’s hair, crashing their lips back together, “We don’t have time.” He reminds him.

 

He feels his own chuckle vibrate against Jonas’s lips before he slides his tongue in the hallow warmth of Isak’s mouth.

 

"Don’t you have somewhere to be?" Isak asks breathlessly, when Jonas moves his lips to his neck.

 

“We’re not leaving until later.” Jonas tells him, too busy making his way down Isak’s throat.

 

Isak murmurs, leaning over to kiss him again and any doubts Isak has are chased away as he melts into Jonas’s mouth. He's so wrapped up in the kiss that he almost doesn’t notice Jonas's hand sliding back between his legs. When he pulls back again, Jonas sighs, loudly.

 

“Are you sure we’ll have time?” He asks.

 

“Yes.” Jonas almost yells. He grips the back of Isak’s neck, pulling him down. Right before he lets their lips collide he says, “Now stop fucking talking.”

 

He lets Jonas kiss away the smirk he has across his face when they kiss again. They grow more desperate as Jonas rushes to make up lost time. They kiss until their lips are red and they're left breathless, panting into each other's mouths.

 

When Jonas begins to lean back onto the mattress, his hands catching the back of Isak’s legs, pulling him with him. "Come here," Jonas reaches out, pulling Isak closer to him. Still kissing him, Jonas’s hands slide up under the sweatshirt Isak’s wearing.

 

It takes nearly no time for Jonas to move them around, pushing down and back on Isak’s shoulders until he’s pressed down into his pillows. He pants heavily when Jonas’s mouth finally moves down his neck. His mouth is hot, teeth scraping lightly over Isak’s lower lip as his other hand caresses the column of his throat. He breathes out heavily as he feels the press of Jonas’s quickly hardening cock through the material of his boxers and he slowly grinds his ass down on him.

 

“Jonas.” Isak groans against Jonas’s jaw, as he continues nipping at the corner of his neck, before sucking on the it. Isak’s eyes flutter close as a hand slips under his shirt again, stroking down his stomach and trailing up his chest.

 

He feels the material begin to drag over his stomach, slowly uncovering more and more skin. When Jonas rids him of it, his hands grip Isak’s hips, leaving wet opened mouth kisses down his chest. Red blooms down his skin as Jonas’s mouth moves down.

 

It’s when Jonas’s lips are met with the top of his jeans that Isak decides not to waste any more time. His hands seem to move on their own, pushing past Jonas’s clothing until he can get a hand around his cock. Jonas gasps, hips thrusting up to move himself into the curve of Isak’s hand. He quickly rushes to unbuckle Isak’s pants so nothing separates them. With Isak holding them both, he picks up his speed. Jonas pushes his face into Isak’s neck, panting loudly until his breath dampens his skin.

 

Hearing Jonas’s moans vibrate against his skin only makes Isak work harder. With the heat building between their bodies, Isak doesn’t want to stop. It doesn’t sound like Jonas does either, and he’s surprised that he’s able to hear their door opening over Jonas’s open-mouth moans.

 

Isak’s shand fly out of Jonas’s pants, and he rushes to push him off of him as his roommate appears.

 

“For fuck’s sake.” He hears Even mutter before he walks back out, slamming the door behind him.

 

Isak can hear Jonas’s breath settling as they try to gain their composure. Isak’s cheeks burns bright red as he tries to forget Even baragning in on them while Jonas adjusts his pants, reaching over Isak, searching for his discarded shirt.

 

“Hurry up, we’re going to be late.” They hear Even yell from outside.

 

Isak and Jonas both roll their eyes. As Jonas is pulling his shirt back over him, he asks Isak for the time.

 

“8:20.” Isak answers trying to normalize his breathing and blood flow.

 

“8:20!” Jonas repeats in disbelief and anger, moving off Isak to sit at the foot of his bed. Isak takes the time to sit up against the bed frame, quickly pulling his clothing over his head.

 

“I’m coming in.” Even warns, impatiently reopening the door. He doesn’t look at either of them when he moves into the room, but Isak can see the annoyance all over his face as he loudly collects his stuff from his side.

 

“You’re early.” Jonas says running a hand through his hair acting as normal as possible for someone who’s trying to ignore the heat still stirring in his jeans.

 

“I don’t want to be late” Is all Even says as he keeps his back turned to them.

 

As Isak listens to the conversation with the smell of them still lingering around the room, he wishes he could disappear. He can’t imagine anything more embarrassing than being stuck in the same room as Even as the smell of sex still hangs around.

 

“Can we go or are you going to keep fucking around?” Even asks, the dryness and bluntness of his words making Isak’s heart feel like it’s about to drop down his chest.

 

Jonas laughs at the double intentions of Even’s words, but Isak doesn’t seem nearly as entertained as he slaps Jonas’s arm for laughing. Jonas gives him a look before he pushes himself off his bed.

 

“See you.” He tells Isak, pressing a quick kiss on his mouth.

 

“Talk to him.” Isak reminds him in a rushed whisper as Jonas pulls away.

 

Jonas nods in response before picking his gym bag off the floor, and following Even out the room. When the door shuts, Isak feels like he can breathe again. He doesn’t know what is, but something about Even makes him still completely.

 

He knows Even and Jonas won’t be back until midnight but that doesn’t stop him from frantically looking at the door every time someone passes by their dorm.

 

It only takes an hour before Isak realizes he doesn’t want to be there when Even comes back.

 

He decides to hide out in Magnus’s and Mahdi’s dorm until they kick him out. As soon as Mahdi opens the door and finds Isak with his bag thrown over his shoulder, he sighs, “What did Even do now?”

 

“How do you know it was Even?” He asks as Mahdi steps aside and lets him in. He lets his bag slide off his shoulder as he collapses in their bean bag chair. He pushes open the pizza box Mahdi has thrown on his desk. He takes a bite as he hears Magnus snort out a “It always is.”

 

With a mouth full of cold, greasy cheese pizza, Isak argues back, “What is that suppose to be mean?"

 

“It’s all you ever bitch about.” Magnus continues, not bothering to look up from his phone.

 

“I do not!” Isak argues back, reaching for a discarded shoe kicked under the desk. He makes sure it hits Magnus when he throws it.

 

“What the fuck, Isak.” Magnus scowls when the shoe knocks his phone out of his hands. Isak and Mahdi laugh as they watch Magnus pick his phone from off the floor. He grumbles under his breath when he moves further back on his bed, “It’s not my fault you want to fuck your roommate.”

 

“Wh-what?” Isak nearly chokes on his pizza when he stutters out an embarrassing, “No I don’t.”

 

“Okay, Isak.” Magnus says sarcastically, typing away on his phone.

 

“I have to agree with Mags on this one.” Mahdi laughs, “You definitely want to fuck Even.”

 

“I’m with Jonas.” Isak reminds them.

 

“That’s still going on?” He hears Magnus scoff.

 

“Magnus!” Mahdi immediately yells.

 

Magnus looks up with wide eyes, like he knows he's just made a mistake.

 

“What is that suppose to mean?” Isak spits out looking at Magnus for an explanation. Except Magnus’s eyes stare down at his phone. This time he’s not looking at it because he wants to. He’s doing it because he’s avoiding Isak.

 

“Nothing.” Mahdi answers for him.

 

Isak continues looking at Mahdi until his friend is forced to go on, “We just didn’t think you two were  _that_  serious.”

 

“Well, we are.” Isak crosses his arms.

 

Mahdi only nods, biting his lips like he’s holding something back.

 

“Anyway.” Isak decides to end this moment of awkward silence, “This isn’t about Jonas.”

 

“Yes, it is.” Magnus speaks back up. “If he wasn’t Jonas’s friend you would have moved out already.”

 

“No, I wouldn’t have.” Isak scowls.

 

“Yes, you would.” Mahdi argues back, “Just admit it, you’re staying for Jonas.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Isak says, but even he knows it’s a lie.

 

“Okay, Isak.” Magnus rolls his eyes refusing to argue anymore, “But when you and Even finally fuck, it’s going to make everything between you and Jonas a lot worse.”

 

“I’m not going to fuck Even, Magnus.” Isak sighs. He doesn’t have the energy to fight Magnus on this any longer. “Plus, Jonas is always there with us, it’s never going to happen.”

 

“Threesomes.” Magnus shrugs, “It’s the only way this is going to end.”

 

Isak’s face burns a deep red as Magnus finishes his thought and Mahdi laughs even harder. He doesn’t want that mental image in his mind, but it flashes before him, making him grow even more embarrassed.

 

“Fuck this.” He mutters, pushing himself up from the floor. He makes his way towards the door when Mahdi puts a hand on his shoulder, “C”mon, Isak.” Mahdi stops him, “We’re just joking.”

 

When Isak sits back down, he notices Mahdi throw Magnus a warning look.

“You know,” Mahdi says a little more seriously, “You could always switch out of the room, and get a new roommate. I’m sure Jonas would understand.”

 

The truth is, Mahdi’s right. Even has already signed the dorm lease, so he doesn’t need Isak anymore' he already has the room. Isak would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about. In fact, he really hasn’t stopped thinking about ever since Even came pounding in on the door well after 2 am that night he lost his keys. But Jonas and Even are best friends, and he likes that Jonas comes around more often than he did when Even wasn’t there. It’s selfish, but Isak’s willing to endure it.

 

“It’s fine.” Isak shrugs, “And it’s not like I can tell Jonas his friend is actually evil.”

Mahdi chuckles a little softer, and Isak knows it’s mostly out of sympathy, “Well, at least it’s almost break. Maybe you two need a break from each other.”

 

“No.” Magnus interrupts, “they don’t need to break, they need to fu-“Magnus beings to say before, Isak reaches for another shoe, threatening to throw it. When he arches his hand into position, Magnus shuts up, not bothering to finish his sentence.

 

“Let’s hope.” Isak sighs tossing the shoe back to the ground.

 

Mahdi looks like he's going to add something else when Isak’s phone sounds off, vibrating violently in his pocket. He quickly fishes it out, smiling to himself when he sees Jonas’s name flash across his screen.

 

_Talked to him._

 

Isak quickly types back a “Come to the dorm when you’re back, so I can thank you.” He feels giddy and excited as he sends the message, but when he gets Jonas’s replay his smile disappears.

 

_Next time._

 

“Everything alright?” Mahdi asks, and Isak knows he must notice the change in his expression. Isak quickly tries to get rid of the frown he can feel forming as he shuts his phone off, “Yea.” Isak nods it off, “Jonas talked to him.”

 

“Think it’ll help?” Mahdi asks.

 

Isak shrugs, he doesn’t tell Mahdi, although he’s sure he already knows, but he doesn’t think it’ll do anything good.

 

He stays longer than he should have, but he really doesn’t want to be there if Even’s there. However, it’s past midnight on a Tuesday night, so Magnus and Mahdi kick him out, but not before they offer him the crooked futon in their room.

Isak’s is tempted to take it, but he’s made that mistake before. And in return he spent hours laying awake trying to ignore Mahdi's snoring, only to wake up with a  pain in his neck he thinks he can still feel. So, instead he slowly wanders back to his room.

 

Fortunately for him, Even isn’t there. Even though the two them hardly share any words outside of insults and orders, Isak still feels like he wants to scream whenever Even’s there with him.

 

Isak’s still finishing the last of his organic chemistry homework when Even comes back. He’s lets the door slam behind him as he makes his way in. The music from his headphones is loud enough that Isak can make out every word to the song Even’s listening to. Isak tries to focus on his work, but Even’s thrashing around so loudly that he’s too distracted.

 

He lets his gym bag drop to the floor, tossing a sweat drenched hoodie on his desk, before he’s kicking off his shoes, pushing them underneath his bed. Isak figures he must have been training because he’s sweaty and flustered. He quickly shuffles around his dresser, grabbing his towel and his shower caddy before he makes his way towards the door. Isak is thrilled for the few moments of peace he’s going to have while Evens in the shower, but that’s short lived when Even reopens the door he's just closed. He pulls one of his headphones from his ear to look at Isak.

 

“Before I forget", He smirks, “If you have a problem with me, say something, don’t go crying to Jonas about it.”

 

Isak doesn’t have chance to say anything, not that he could if Even had given him the chance to because the door slams loudly and quickly after Even finishes his sentence.

 

He leaves Isak feeling so embarrassed that Mahdi’s snoring and the futon are starting to look really good right now.

 

***

 

If everything else seems beyond out of his control, Isak knows the only thing he can truly rely on for stability and consistency is swimming.

 

There’s something about the silence and the pulse of water. And it doesn’t hurt that he’s good at it. Good enough that it’s got him a scholarship that’s keeping him in school. Although, he could do without the extra stress it adds on to his already overwhelming schedule. He like it, he’s good at it, and it allows him to spend more time out of the room.

 

They practice almost everyday. It’s four and a half, Even-free hours of drills and routines that make his arms ache and his legs grow sore. He likes it, likes the feeling of knowing he’s been pushed harder than he’s ever had.

 

He hasn’t realized how long he’s been practicing until he comes back up for air, and realizes the building is empty. He slowly makes his way to edge, making sure he’s lined up in with the wall. He fills his air with lungs one last time before he pushes into the water, kicking off the wall.

 

He pushes and pulls, cutting through the cool water, fast enough that it feels as if he’s sliding through it. He feels it roll down his back, as his arms arch and up and over the surface. He pushes harder and faster until his fingertips meet the concrete wall on the other side. He clings to it, pulling himself up and towards it. When he comes up for air, he hears what sounds like clapping as he settles. He pulls his swim goggles off his face to find Jonas calling from the sidelines

 

He’s sitting on one of the empty benches lining the poolside watching Isak swim within in. Isak quickly swims to the side he’s sitting on, pulling off the swim cap while he’s at it.

 

He’s smiling bashfully as Jonas comes to stand at the edge of the pool.

 

“That was impressive.” He finally speaks.

 

“I know.” Isak smiles, crossing his arms on the floor outside the edges.

 

Jonas playfully rolls his eyes, squatting until he’s eye level to Isak. He presses forward, ignoring the way Isak’s skin wetting his t-shirt when he kisses him. Isak knows he must taste like chlorine, but Jonas tastes like smoke, so he doesn’t think it matters.

 

“Ready to go baby?” Jonas asks when he lets their kiss end.

 

Isak nods quickly, pulling himself out of the pool. He smirks to himself as he watches Jonas’s eyes travel up all the skin his tiny speedo has left uncovered. With his swimming gear in his hands, he pulls the towel around his shoulders as they walk back into the locker room.

 

“I’ll be quick.” Isak promises when he grabs his bag. As he pulls open the shower curtains, Jonas’s hand catches his arm.

 

“We don’t have to wait.”He whispers looking at Isak before he looks past him at the empty shower.

 

He presses closer only to have Isak step back.

 

“I can’t.” Isak shakes his head, “We could get caught.”

 

“C’mon Isak. No one’s here.” He looks around trying to convince him, but Isak pushes him back further away from the shoulders.

 

“I’ll be quick.” He tells Jonas, closing the shower curtain. When it’s shut he hears Jonas let out an exaggerated groan. He ignores it, laughing to himself as he takes a quick shower.

 

He feels the chlorine wash off of his skin as he rushes through his wash. When He find Jonas waiting impatiently when he steps out. Jonas looks almost out of patience as he’s forced to wait for Isak to dress.

 

As they head to car, he slides his hand up Isak’s back. “M roommate’s gone for the weekend.”

 

Isak laughs pushing Jonas’s hand off him, but as soon as it’s off he wishes it was back on him. When they climb back into his car, Isak nods, “Sounds good.”

 

***

 

Isak wakes slowly the next morning, naked, tangled, and alone in Jonas’s wrinkled sheets.

 

“Good Morning.” Jonas calls out to him from where he’s sitting at his desk with nothing but his glasses and boxers on as he types away on his laptop.

 

“Do you have to do that now?” Isak asks, missing the warmth of Jonas’s body pressed beside him.

 

“Lab report.” Is all Jonas says, pushing up his glasses not bothering to look away from his screen.

 

Isak groans turning in the sheets, so they fall off of him, covering no more than what’s necessary.

 

Behind his glasses, Jonas looks up, eyes trailing down all the newly exposed skin. Isak grins to himself when he realizes it’s working.

 

“Isak.” Jonas warns, knowing exactly what he’s doing.

 

His smile grows wider as he hums to himself, rolling all the way over, losing the sheets covering when he does so. He feels the cool air of Jonas’s dorm room tickle down his backside, bringing goosebumps to his skin.

 

He knows Jonas won’t last long when Isak’s laying naked in his bed. So, when he looks back to find Jonas’s eyes stuck on his skin, his mouth slightly agape, he knows he’s right.

 

“Fuck it.” Jonas mutters, slamming his laptop shut, falling back into bed.

 

“You’re such a fucking tease.” Jonas growls, climbing on top of Isak.

 

Isak’s still smiling as he looks up, “What are you going to do about it?”

 

He thinks he has Jonas right where he wants him when Jonas pushes down, kissing him roughly, licking into his mouth, body aching with need. He feels the frame of Jonas’s glasses press against his face as Jonas kisses him deeper. He has just put his arms around Jonas’s neck, when Jonas lifts himself up, so he’s no longer pressed against Isak. With Jonas’s weight off of him, Isak reaches out.

 

“Nothing.” Jonas finally answers. Isak stares at him in disbelief when Jonas simply shrugs. Isak knows Jonas isn’t going to give in that easily.

 

He heart seems to race even more when Jonas begins to leave his bed.

 

“I have lab report due at 20 minutes.” Jonas explains, “And I’m only half way through it.”

 

“Jonas.” Isak pleads when he watches Jonas sit on the edge of his bed. When he looks back he finds Jonas staring at him with a look on his face that Isak knows. It makes his nerves pace when he sees Jonas walk to the small wooden dresser across the room. He swallows back that same feeling when he sees Jonas reach inside, but he doesn’t have to wait to know exactly what Jonas is reaching for. Still he shifts anxiously when the small bottle appears in Jonas’s hands.

 

The bed dips from where Jonas moves back on it, not fully, just close enough that Isak can feel him.“Open yourself up for me.” Jonas whispers, his warm breath spilling over his lips.

 

Isak’s mouth falls open in a small gasp when Jonas pushes the bottle in his hands.

“Jonas.” Isak tries again. He’s right here, already so close to Isak. He could do it, and Isak wants him to. But Jonas never seems to make it easy for him.

 

“I have work.” Jonas shakes his head, “You’re going to do it all by yourself this time baby.” His voice lowers, as he runs one finger up Isak’s leg, high enough just to tease his thigh.

 

Then as quick as Jonas’s hands are on him, they’re off, and Isak watches Jonas pad back to his desk, feeling the warmth of him leave the sheets.

 

“What are you waiting for?” Jonas reopening his laptop, noticing Isak’s still in the same position.

 

Isak’s face deepens from the shade of red he’s been wearing since he’d woken up when Jonas looks at him. “Can you do that for me Isak?”

 

Isak nods, breath still feeling uneven as he reaches for the lube.

 

“Show me.” Jonas says, “Be a good boy.”

 

Isak lets out a low moan as his wet fingers find their way between his legs. Another small groan leaves his lips as his first finger presses into him, but then quickly deepens into a moan as he slides out before right back in smoothly.

 

Isak’s breathing still feels uneven as he looks over himself to find Jonas’s eyes looking past his computer and at Isak. He spreads himself wider, wanting Jonas to see as much of him as possible, wanting Jonas to see how good Isak can be for him.

 

When he finds his voice and courage, Isak calls out “Shouldn’t you be working.” His voice shaking and breathless as he continues to work his finger in himself.

 

Jonas smirks, “Go on, add another.” He orders, not breaking the eye contact with Isak’s nody.

 

Isak listens, pressing a second one inside himself, eyes falling shut as he leans back into the pillows. His whole body seems to move with his hands as he rocks backwards on the fingers inside him.

 

He only opens his eyes when he hears Jonas mutter a “fuck” before he forces himself to look away from Isak and back onto his computer screen. The sound of Jonas’s fingers hitting the keys fills the quiet room, and Isak can hear them  quicken as he types the rest of his report out.

 

Except, Isak doesn’t like that he’s sprawled on Jonas’s bed, two fingers buried inside him, and Jonas isn’t even looking at him. So, he tucks another finger inside, letting out a loud moan when they’re knuckle deep. It seems to gain Jonas’s attention because he hears the sound of the keys cease right before they go faster than before.

 

They seem to violently strike down on his keyboard, and Isak knows he’s rushing through the report. Except, to Isak, it feels like he’s not getting through it fast enough. He’s starting to feel an ache in his wrist from the awkward angle his hand is positioned in. He’s close to whining and begging Jonas to come back to bed, when he hears Jonas’s computer slam shut, so he doesn't have to.

 

His eyes immediately open, and he notices the neon lights on Jonas’s alarm clock reads 11:59.

 

“What am I going to do with you?” Jonas pants out as he makes his way back on top of Isak. He feels Jonas, hard and heated as he holds him close.

 

Isak smiles, removing his fingers, opening his legs so Jonas can move between them. “You could fuck me.” Isak suggests, hips moving forwards, desperate for some kind of friction.

 

Jonas laughs, his hand reaching down, between them. His fingers gently touching Isak, teasing him right over where Isak’s fingers had been.

 

“Okay” is all Jonas says, like he’s at a lost for words, but Isak knows Jonas doesn’t needs words, not when Isak’s already so far gone and ready for it.

 

Isak moves first, reaching forward for the elastic waistband of Jonas’s boxers, pushing them down, so there’s nothing, but skin between them. Once they’re gone, Isak can feel the tip of his cock on his thigh.

 

Isak's thighs twitch in anticipation, falling further as Jonas rubs his hand over them, letting his fingers slip further and further down until he can feel the wetness between Isak’s cheeks.

 

The gasps Isak lets out when the first slip of Jonas’s fingers push into him is muffled when Jonas presses their lips together hard. Isak pulls at the sheet surrounding them, arching up and moaning out when Jonas adds another.

 

Isak knows he’s stretched out, wet and hot, ready for Jonas anytime he wants to him. But unfortunately for him, Jonas knows this to.

 

"Fuck, you feel so good." Jonas says, voice gone all rough and deep. It’s then Jonas decides to fuck his fingers in deeper, rougher right before he stops.

 

Isak moans at the emptiness he feels when Jonas’s fingers come out. He feels like he’s buzzing watching Jonas’s hand come around his own cock, dressing the condom on him quickly. He’d reach out and help Jonas if he didn't know better. He knows Jonas likes to this this himself.

  


With Jonas kneeling over him, his eyes come down to meet Isak’s, and a grin comes across his face, “Think your ready for it, baby?” He asks, his hand coming down to sit on Isak’s hip.

 

Isak nods, his eyes unmoving from Jonas’s cock. He whines when Jonas moves forward, not close to push in, but close enough to tease him.

 

“Jonas, please.” Isak begs, tilting his hips, trying to urge Jonas in.

 

Before he can finish Jonas is thrusting in, cutting off his words, and fucking the air from his lungs. Isak wouldn't have been able to hold back the moan even if wanted to when Jonas pulls out just to push back in.

 

When he kisses him, it’s sloppy, wet and frantic, their lips mashing together and their teeth clacking more than they should. Isak doesn’t think Jonas can get any deeper than he already is until he pushes Isak’s knee up to his chest, fitting it up and over his shoulder. He pushes back in, hips bumping against the backs of Isak’s thighs with every smooth, solid thrust of his hips.

 

It’s when Jonas’s fuck him faster, slamming their bodies with every thrust that makes Isak grab at the pillow above his head like it’s fucking lifeline. Then, when the pillows aren’t enough, he squeezes the back of Jonas’s neck for a second and tries to catch his breath. His chest heaves as he pants out. His mouth’s right under Jonas's as they share breaths and muffled moans.

 

The bed creaks under them, a loud metal-on-metal scratch of a sound that echoes against the walls. He knows Jonas’s neighbors must be used to it. All the harsh panting and desperate moans, choked off groans and bitten out curses, the slap of skin against skin. Their own fucked up dirty sex playlist.

 

He can’t keep eyes open, between staring at Jonas’s face and staring down at his body to watch where Jonas’s dick moves inside him, he can’t handle it. He can’t even process it. If he could, then maybe he’s be able to something than the blood rushing to his hears.

 

He’s not going to last.

 

Especially not  when Jonas tilts his hips, switching up the angle as he reaches down and slips his hand around Isak’s cock. He moves down to his mouth, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth and biting down. And he fuckes him harder, faster, in contrast to the quick twist rhythm he set with his hand.

 

He says Jonas’s name when he finally cums, loud and breathless as he feels his body still, despite the jolts running through him. He feels himself tensing up all over. His breathing hitches in his throat as he jerks and shudders, pulsing out hot and wet across his stomach. The grip on his hips tighten as Jonas’s thrusts grow sloppy, and urgent until he still, moaning loudly in Isak’s mouth as he comes.

 

Isak finishes before Jonas. He waits tiredly as Jonas comes down, trying to regulate his breathing. When Jonas comes through, his nose scrunches when he sees the drying pool of come on Isak’s chest.

 

“You know.” He pants slipping out of him, “I think you should start chipping in for laundry, since you’re the reason my sheets are always so dirty.”

 

Isak laughs pushing Jonas off of him, so he can crash beside him. He watches Jonas tie the condom with a knot before he’s dropping it off the bed before he says, “Because cleanness is one of your priorities.”

 

“It’s your cum!” Jonas laughs back.

 

“You don’t wash these anyway.” Isak argues, covering himself with the sheet they’ve kicked down to the foot of their bed.

 

He hears Jonas settle beside him as he stares up at the ceiling tile.

 

“You know.” Isak asks, turning on his side so he can meet Jonas’s eyes, “Mahdi and Magnus think I should break this off with you?”

 

“They said that?” Jonas seems startled, but his lips pull into a smile like Isak has just told him a joke.

 

“More or less?” Isak shrugs waiting for Jonas’s response.

 

“You wouldn’t want to stop this even if they told you to.” Jonas smirks.

 

“Says who?” Isak challenges.

 

Jonas gives him a look, rolling his eyes as he laughs, “You love this too much.” He shrugs, He leans in close enough to Isak that he thinks he’s going to kiss him, but right before he reaches his lips he pauses, “Who else is going to fuck you this good.”

 

Isak’s blush runs down his chest as Jonas smiles. He still feels hot and flustered as Jonas reaches over Isak for the half smoked down joint and plastic lighter on his night stand. He opens the window above them, and even though it’s too cold for the window to be open, Isak doesn’t say anything. He watches Jonas stick it between his lips before lighting it, letting the smoke find its way out the room.

 

“You don’t actually want to stop his, do you?” Jonas asks, taking the joint out, holding it out for Isak.

 

“No.” Isak shakes his head, taking it. He moves farthe up the bed so the smoke will blow towards Jonas’s mouth. Jonas must now what he’s trying to do because he moves onto his back, letting Isak move on top of him.

 

With the smoke moving between their lips, Isak whispers, “Who else is going to fuck me this good.”

  


When Isak finally leaves Jonas’s dorm, he smells like sex, not even subtly. The smell hangs off his wrinkled clothes, flushed cheeks and rustled hair. It follows him back into his room. He knows Even can notice it, especially when he takes one look at him only to look with away with mild disgust.

 

“Your alarm went off again this morning.” Even speaks, his voice flat and angry.

 

“Sorry, Isak immediately apologizes trying to grab his shower bag as quickly as he can.

 

Luckily it’s the end of their conversation, and Isak is free to rush to the dorm showers free from Even. He takes his time, rinsing away the smell of Jonas, sweat and weed until he feels like a layer has come free. He hopes he’s taken enough time to get Even to leave their room, but when he returns, Even is in the same position with a book in his lap, trying to read.

 

He’s trying to be as quiet as he can, but he’s never been a graceful person. First it’s half empty water bottle. It makes nothing more than quick dull sound, but it’s enough to make Even shift, like a nonverbal warning. Then he nearly trips over a pair of shoes near his bed, making a commission loud enough that Even looks up. His eyes are sharp enough that it makes Isak want to shrink down.

 

He think that’ll be in the end of it, when he finally settles down at his desk, but then his phone rings violently from last night jeans. That’s when Even gets, muttering loudly underneath his breath, before he storms out.

 

Somehow the silence is louder with Even’s gone, but Isak isn’t left in it for long because his phone rings again.

 

“Miss me already?” Isak answers the phone with.

 

“You wish.” Jonas laughs, “I wanted to see if you’re coming to the match tonight?”

 

“I don’t know.” Isak admits, as he moves to his bed. “Will Even be there?”

 

“You know he will be.” Jonas says, and Isak doesn’t need to see Jonas to know he rolled his eyes. He can practically hear the annoyance in his voice. “Does that matter. You two need to get over this.”

 

Isak is about to answer when Jonas cuts him off, “I’ll meet you both at yours later.”

 

Before Isak can reject the invitation the phone goes dead, and he wants to let out groan, but he can’t.

 

***

 

It’s later in the day, when Isak eats a late lunch with Magnus and Mahdi in their dorm building’s overcrowded library.

 

“Jonas invited me to his match tonight.” Isak tells them pulling his pasta apart.

 

“I thought you said you hated going to those?” Magnus reminds him, sipping from the soda he’d gotten.

 

“Yea.” Isak shrugs, “But Jonas invited me this time.”

 

“So, it’s like a date?” Mahdi asks.

 

“Who dates in college?” Isak says.

 

“Normal people.” Magnus mutters from under his breath.

 

Isak rolls his eyes, scraping his fork across his plate, “Even’s going to be there too.”

 

The three of them all share a look before Magnus breaks the silence. “Threesome.” He teases, singing the word loud enough that Isak has to punch his arm so he’ll shut up.

 

“Wait, you’re actually going?” Mahdi asks, taken by surprise.

 

“Yes.” Isak answers dumbly.

 

When Mahdi’s lip curls up, Isak knows he’s solding something in. “Just say it.” Isak sighs, bracing himself for the blunt reaction he's about to receive.

 

“Nothing.” Mahdi shakes his head. “If you want to spend all your time in gross warehouses with Jonas and Even, then do that.”

 

“I’m not going for Even.” Isak stops him.

 

“We know.” Magnus spits out, “It’s for Jonas, right.”

 

“What’s so wrong with that?” He almost yells.

 

“When has Jonas ever been to one of your matches, or any of your meets?”

 

“When do you do anything other than fuck?” Magnus adds on, trying to keep his voice low.

 

They all already know the answer, but Isak refused to give and say it. So instead he slams his hands down and glares at his friends.

 

“Okay.” Mahdi nods, “we’ll stop.” He looks at Isak before he continues, “But as your friends, we just want to let you know, we think you could do better.”

 

A small cracks on Isak’s face when he notices Mahdi’s sincerity, “Are you jealous?” He teases, “that I’m not spending as much time as I used to with you guys?”

 

“Fuck you.” Mahdi laughs, pushing at the hand Isak puts on his shoulder.

 

The three of them laugh, moving the conversation away from something less serious as they finish their dinner.

 

It’s nearly time for Jonas to meet him by the time they finish their food, and head back to Isak’s dorm.

 

Even doesn’t look any happier than before when he sees Mahdi and Magnus trail in behind Isak.

 

They’re going on about some video game when there’s another tap on the door, and somehow that atmosphere in the room goes from bad to worse.

 

Mahdi’s and Magnus’s smiles drop when Isak answers the door, letting Jonas come inside. Jonas waves to all of them, ignoring the way it make everyone in the room even more uncomfortable.

 

Mahdi and Magnus quickly mutter their goodbyes as they make it out the door. Mahdi gives Isak one last look before he steps into the hallway. When the door shuts, Jonas laughs, “Those two really don’t like me?”

 

Isak smiles, “Not everyone finds you as charming as you think you are?”

 

“What?” Jonas gasps with faux exaggeration.

 

Isak stops laughing when he hears Even mumble something bitter so loud Isak can’t make any of the words out.

 

“Ready to go?” Jonas asks Isak when Even steps in. “He’s going?”

 

He doesn't bother looking at Isak when he asks, glaring right at Jonas as he waits for his answer.

 

“Yes.” Jonas nods, giving Even a look.

 

“Why?” Even refuses to leave it alone, “You know he doesn’t belong there.”

 

“He’ll be with me the entire time.” Jonas tells him.

 

“You’re not going to be thinking right if you’re stuck babysitting the entire night.” He spits out.

 

“I can handle myself.” Isak interrupts, happy to find his voice doesn’t shake like it normally would when Even’s staring at him like this.

 

“Fine.” Even grits out, “This is on you, Jonas.”

 

He doesn’t say anything else, but Isak knows he’s still angry as they pile into Jonas’s car and Isak claims the passenger seat, rather than the backseat.

 

As expected they drive far from the university, into a deserted part of town with spider webbed windows and grafatti littered alleys. It’s exactly what he expected.

 

He stays close to Jonas they walk towards an old brick building. They knock on a steel door before a man steps out, demanding a code to some weird riddle Isak doesn’t understand. Nonetheless, Even answers, and they’re allowed in.

 

The low fluorescent lighting colors the air a frightening orange as they walk through the empty halls and a flight of concrete crumbling stairs.

 

He wants to grab Jonas’s hand, but he doesn’t think Jonas would let him hold for very long, so he doesn’t bother. Instead he shoves his hands into his pockets, keeping his head down.

 

They follows Even to a brightly lit room with exposed pipes and crowd of men huddled around a makeshift boxing ring. Isak has been here twice before, and he’s has hated both of those times.

 

It’s too loud, too many bruised bodies and loud cheering for him to handle. And tonight’s no exception.

 

Jonas has at least one round to get through, and depending on that, there may be a second.

 

The first time he came here, Jonas was new. Too scared of taking a punch that he couldn’t give one. He had lost badly, and spent a week with a molding purple shiner. The second time he had made his way through the first round, but couldn’t bear to do it all over again. But this was months ago, and Isak would be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in seeing Jonas fight again, this time better and stronger.

 

He’s been training with Even nearly almost every night. Isak can see it easily in the toned muscle and defined structure. He knows Jonas is stronger, and it shows in his lack of bruises and sore ribs.

 

“I have to go grab out stuff, stay here with Even.” Jonas tells him, and he’s about to ask to tag along with him when Jonas disappears leaving him with Even.

 

He takes the time to look around, noticing the amount of people who have stumbled into the small cellar. All them are young men, Isak would never suspect to be in an underground fighting, and yet here they are.

 

The room’s starting to fill, temperature beginning to rise, all under the flickering fluorescent lights hanging from loose wires. Shouts and cheers begin to sound over one another, combining in roar of conversation that begins to overwhelm him. He feels like the crowd and noise is overbearing his senses, and he doesn’t think he can handle anything more than this when Jonas comes back.

 

With their gym bags in their hands, Even and Jonas squeeze past the men into an il-lit dressing room in the back of the club. Every part of the locker room is full of half-dressed fighter quickly dressing in their gear. Jonas and Even don’t bother waiting for a stall to open, quickly tossing their clothes off, and pulling on the gym shorts and tennis shoes.

 

“Exciting, isn't it?” Jonas asks as he begins to wrap white gauze strips around his wrists and knuckles.

 

“S’loud.” Isak swallows, watching his skin cover up.

 

“Wait until someone's in the ring. It’s intense.” Jonas tells him fixing the strips over his palms.

 

“When do you go on?” Isak asks looking around.

 

“I’m in the fifth round.” Jonas explains, lacing his shoes tightly, tucking the excess string into his socks.

 

The locker room has begun to empty as fighters find their way back around the ring. There’s only a few people left in the locker room, and it’s the first time Isak’s been able to hear his own thoughts.

 

“Are you scared?” He asks taking a step forward towards Jonas who’s resting on one of the benches lining the lockers. He watches Jonas turn over his hands, looking over the bandages, inspecting them for the third time. When he takes another step, standing in between the empty space between Jonas’s legs, Jonas looks up. “Are you?”

 

“I’m not the one about fight some 300-pound stranger.” Isak reminds him.

 

“That’s not my weight class.” Jonas rolls his eyes, reaching out towards Isak, clasping his hands on the back of his thighs, bringing Isak forward.

 

Isak lets him pull him onto his lap, knees meeting the cement wall, as Jonas rests his hands on his back.

 

“Better not lose.” Isak pushes on his shoulder playfully.

 

“Don’t worry, baby.” Jonas says, his thumb slipping underneath Isak’s shirt, sliding his finger over Isak’s skin, “I’m not going to lose.”

 

“Good.” Isak tilts his chin, “Because “I don’t fuck losers.”

 

Jonas laughs, clutching him closer so he can kiss him. It’s not a very long one because they’re interrupted with a loud wolf whistle from in front of them. Isak would have jumped off Jonas if his hands weren’t keeping him seated until he looks up and finds who the noise comes from. Then Jonas is up, pushing Isak behind him like he doesn’t want them to see him.

 

“Vasquez!” They shout, friendly enough that sounds sickly, “Who’s your little friend?”

 

Isak doesn’t move, instead he tries to make himself smaller as he hides behind him.

 

“Fuck off, Schistad.” Jonas curses, standing tall and bravely.

 

Isak hears a few more people groan in fake pain before they snicker and chuckle.

“c’mon.” Schistad goes on, “Don’t be selfish.”

 

More laughter comes, and Jonas’s hand finds his, gripping him tightly before he pushes past the cord of boys, pulling Isak with him.

 

“I told you, you shouldn’t have bought him.” Isak hears Even tell him as he’s chasing after them.

 

“Shut up, Even.” Jonas grits out as he tries to put even more distance between them.

 

“Who was that?” Isak finally gains the courage to ask once they’re on the farthest corner of the gym.

 

“No one.” Jonas says too quickly.

 

“Then why didn’t you want him to see me?” Isak asks, refusing to end this. “Why does he care?”

 

“Isak!” Jonas yells trying to end his persistent interrogation.

 

It works because Isak immediately quiets down, letting his questions go unanswered.

 

“Just.” Jonas begins, “Stay away from them, okay?”

 

Isak nods, refusing to argue with Jonas when he has that look in his eyes. Instead, he sighs, looking down at the ground below him. It’s not until he feels Jonas’s hand take shoulder that he looks back up. “Just promise me you won’t speak to anyone, especially them.”

 

“I promise.” Isak nods again, swallowing down the fear beginning to stir inside of him.

 

Another whistle blows, scarring Isak enough to make him jump. Everyone turns to the ring, noticing the man who has taken center stage. He’s a short balding man with a voice loud enough that it get everyone to quiet down. “We’re starting. Will the contestant for the first round come up while those fighting next line up on the side of the stage.”

 

Isak feels it, even though he’s not fighting. The adrenaline of the shuffling of the crowd in preparation for the fight. He makes sure to stand close to Jonas as men climb into the ring.

 

When they begin, it’s just as brutal as it was the first time he came. He can hear the collision of bone and skin even over the loud cheering. It’s a grossly loud nose, and Isak winces everytime he hears it. He hates it.

 

The fight lasts longer than Isak wishes it would. Each person get one round. One round to bring everything they can, scraping together everything they’re capable of to make into the next.

Isak doesn’t know how they do it. There's no rules, no referee, nothing but the floor mat that ends the game. It’s brutal.

 

Blood and bruises cover the men as they exit the ring, towel pressed to their faces, sweat falling from their skin. He can’t bear to watch it.

 

Isak hates that he wishes things would speed up, but he knows every moment that passes brings Jonas closer to the ring.

 

By the time the fourth round is happening, Jonas has to move forward. Isak stops before he leaves him.

 

“Good luck.” He whispers, quiet enough for only Jonas to hear it.

 

Jonas looks around once before he nods. Isak waits until Jonas’s eyes meet his before he kisses him. He doesn’t let Jonas deepen the kiss they like they both want to. Instead he pulls back, keeping just millimeters of space between their lips.

 

“You can have more when you win.” Isak whispers against Jonas's lips. They’re so close, Isak feels the smile Jonas puts on despite the nerves he knows Jonas is trying to keep down.

 

“And if I lose?” Jonas questions.

 

“I’ll listen to Magnus and Mahdi.”

 

Jonas laughs one last time before he forces himself to let go of Isak. He looks towards Even, and no words need to be said for Even to get it. Even though Isak hates him, He moves closer to him, beginning to feel safe even after Jonas leaves him.

 

It’s the first time he doesn’t want the round to end, but it does. And it’s painful watching Jonas climb into the ring. He has to grip onto his own hands as he watches Jonas take a corner.

 

It doesn’t start off good. Jonas is taking punches far more than he’s giving them. He can’t stand to watch it. His eyes shut on their own every time the guy’s fist collides with Jonas’s cheek. Despite what he’s feeling, Isak knows it’s a fair fight.  His opponent is roughly Jonas’s size. So, Jonas has every chance to win.

 

They’re further into the fight when Jonas starts to fight back, ducking and puncshing. It makes Isak’s never race. However, it doesn’t keep him from biting his own nails down, eyes stuck on the stage as Jonas pushes on.

 

A small trickle of blood trailing down a small open cut high up on Jonas’s cheek, and Isak knows it’s nothing serious, but he hates the sight of it. It’s when Jonas gets hit especially hard that the sound seems to echo from the walls. It almost feels like time still as Isak watches Jonas fall backwards. It makes Isak jumps, fighting him enough that he clings to the person closest to him: Even.

 

Even lets him grab his wrist, and hold onto it until Jonas stands back up. It’s only after that that Isak finally realizes he has his hand in Even’s. He immediately drops it, refusing to look at Even. Instead he focuses on Jonas, slowly making his way up onto his feet.

 

He looks angry, and exhausted. He stumbles, pulling himself up by the rings. Isak eyes find Jonas's only for a few seconds when Jonas searches through the crowd for him. He tries to offer Jonas a smile, but Jonas quickly looks away. 

  
He jumps a few times in place, sweat falling down his skin before he charges his opponent. Isak doesn't breathe until Jonas's punches land on the man across from him. It's a cruel sight, watching Jonas's glove smash into the guy's face, but he knows if not him, then Jonas.

 

He delivers each one right after the other, with no stop in sight. The crowd cheers, loud yells of encouragement. The rowdiest of them seem to be lining the ring, shouting out  with no regard.

 

The audience must be able too feel the new energy coming from inside the ring because Isak can feel it reflect that. Those in the back push forward, and Isak's forced to stumble into them, knocking into the men in front of him. He feels like he might actually be trampled if the shoving doesn't stop. He tries to hold off, to stand his ground, but the crowd keeps pushing. He can't even see the stages, just the back of heads, and the shoulders he's smashed into. Somewhere behind he shouting begin, curses and threats that usually start fights.

 

When the shouts become louder, the crowd shifts, pushing and thrashing in so many directions, Isak can't keep track. He feels lost it until, he feels a hand encircle his wrist. He's quickly pulled towards it, cutting through pack. He keeps moving, shoving past steady shoulders, letting the hand lead him and back and out. He moves faster, like he won't be able to breathe until he makes it out.

 

He feels the crushing feeling on his ribs come off of him when they finally make it out. He gasps for hair, still hanging onto the hand that has helped him.Without the men surrounding him, he can see now it's Even leading him out. 

 

He's moved them to the back, out of the mass of people, but not away from the noise. Even doesn't let go of him, not even when he pulls Isak in front of him, shielding him from the random elbows and hands that knock into them. When Isak remembers the fight, he's too late. Jonas is already out of the ring, and the next men have already replaced him.

He looks around, frantically seraching for Jonas when a second pair of hands take his shoulder. It's Jonas, brusied and bloody, but it's him.

 

Isak can't hear him, but he can tell by the look on his face and the formation that his lips are making, he's asking Isak if he's okay. Isak can't answer, it feels like he voice may actually be lost. So, Even does for him.

 

"You need to get him out of here, Jonas." He tells, moving Isak forward towards his friend.

 

 Jonas takes his hand, still confused about what has happened.

 

"Now, Jonas!" Even yells, "He doesn't belong here."

 

Jonas doesn't need to be told twice. Jonas nods, quickly leading the three of them out of the room. Isak seems to carry him without offer, back into the locker room. Even grabs their things, before they rush out.

 

Isak can see the door, it's not more than a few seconds away, but that's stopped when someone steps in front of them. Even and Jonas look like they're out of patience to deal with whoever this is, but they're forced to stand they in front of him.

 

"Leaving so soon."

 

Isak instantly recognizes the voice, it's the same boy from earlier.

 

"Move." Is all Jonas grits out, clutching Isak's hand tighter.

 

"What's the rush." the boy pushes on, "Too afraid to go on to round two."

When enither Jonas or Even give him an answer, Isak feels the boy's eyes land on him. "Who is this?" He smirks, hand rechong toward Isak, when Even's hand smashes down on his jaw. He stumbles backwards just long enought so the three of them can run around him.

 

The ignore the boy's loud threats from behind them as they get out of the building. Oonce they're out into thenight, Isak feels like he can move again. His limbs still feel heavy, but Jonas is trong enough that he's able to drag him along.

 

Even drives as Jonas helps them both into the backseat, holding Isak close until his breathing settles. When the knot in his throat finally ceases, Isak whispers, "Sorry."

 

"It was time to go anyway." Jonas shakes his head.

 

"Did you win?" Isak asks, holding onto Jonas's hand.

 

Jonas nods, a smile curling the edges of his mouth up.

 

"Good." Isak says quietly, trying to keep his eyes from looking forward.

 

There's nothing, but silence until they get back to their dorm. Jonas is battered and bruised that it's Isak that has to help him now. As soon as they make it back into Isak's dorm, Jonas falls onto his bed.

 

He hisses when he moves to sit up, stripping the sweaty shirt clinging to his skin. Fresh bruises color his chest, and Isak ties not to stare at them when he kicks his jeans off. 

 

"Sorry you didn't get to fight." Jonas looks at Even as he tries move up on the mattress without pressing on his bruises.

 

"Next time." Even shrugs, reaching for the lamp beside his bed. Before he shuts it off, his eyes meet Isak's, and for a second Isak thinks Even's looking at him with something other than hate.

 

However, the light goes out too quickly for Isak to know for sure. He can feel the exhaustion from everyone in the room when he finally slides next to Jonas. Ignoring the way he smells like sweat and whatever that cellar smells like, Isak moves closer to him.

 

He hears Jonas mumble something, but hes too tired to try to figure it out, and he knows Jonas is too tired to repeat it. So he lets sleep find him, choosing to ignore it all until morning. 


	2. Miscommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, but I'm happy it's finally out! also this entire chapter is dedicated to giulia (@tracobsivans) b/c without her this chapter would have never been finished!! ily!! 
> 
> song inspo: super far / LANY

Isak wakes early and regretfully on Sunday morning. He doesn’t have practice until later in the day, so when he realizes it's being nearly shoved out of his own twin size bed by Jonas that wakes him up, he’s ready to kick Jonas out.

 

He almost does, but he realizes, even without Jonas suffocating him, he’s been awake since Even let the door slam behind him, loud and early this morning. Isak isn’t surprised Jonas slept through it, Jonas can sleep through anything, but, it had Isak jolting awake. And after several failed hours of staring at the ceiling, he gives up, and wakes up. 

 

He listens quietly to Jonas’s breathing, loud in the silent room. Jonas has managed to take over Isak’s small dorm mattress. When Jonas moves again, kicking his legs out so that he knocks it into Isak’s side, Isak finally wakes him. He pushes Jonas off him, back onto the small half of the mattress he’s suppose to stay on.

 

It wakes Jonas up grouchily, wincing when Isak pushes him harder, so he’s completely off of him. As soon as Isak hears him, he stops, softening the grip he has on Jonas’s shoulders. Jonas groans loudly, moving up the bed, so he can sit against the wooden headboard. 

 

Light purple bruises have bloomed across his chest, trailing down his sides. When Jonas catches Isak staring at them, he pulls a blanket further up his chest, “You should see the other guy.” Jonas jokes, rubbing the last remains of sleep from his face.

 

All Isak can do is hum, and try to keep his eyes off the small cut, high up on Jonas’s cheek. It’s never made sense to Isak why Jonas continues to do this. He doesn’t need the money or the reputation. He’s not even that good at it, if Isak is completely honest. Still, day after day, Jonas trains, fights, and manages to make into class, bruised knuckles clutching onto whatever poli-sci textbook he needs. 

 

“When did Even leave?” Jonas breaks the silence, looking at the empty bed on the other side of the room.

 

Isak shrugs, “Before 7, I think.”

 

Jonas nods, lips pursing before he speaks, “Sorry about last night. You don’t have to come to those, you know.”

 

“I know. I wanted to go.” Isak tells him, “I just didn’t think, it’s be that..” Isak voice fades into silence, as he struggles to finishes his sentence.

 

“That rough.” Jonas offers.

 

Isak nods, looking up at Jonas from where he’s sitting above him.

 

“It’s not so bad when you’re in the ring.” Jonas tells him, except Isak can’t believe him, especially when he has a mosaic of bruises coloring his torso.

 

When Jonas notices his doubtful look he shifts, “it really isn’t.” Jonas laughs. “It’s like when you’re in the pool, and there’s nothing on to focsus on but that. ”

 

“Except when I swim there’s no blood, or bruising or opponent trying to kill you.”

 

Jonas laughs, rolling onto his side, “C’mon, lsak. You know that’s the only reason you're with me.” Jonas teases, fingers pinching onto his hips. “You think it’s hot that I box.” Jonas begins to move over him, smiling as he gets Isak to lay back onto his matress. 

 

“No.” Isak laughs, “I think it’s stupid.”

 

Loose strands of curls fall over Jonas’s face, waterfalling in the empty space between their face. “But also kind of hot, right.” 

 

“No.” Isak shakes his head, “It’s dangerous and irresponsible, and..” Isak’s ready to continue arguing when Jonas takes his face in his hands. There’s a strong grip on his chin, smashing his lips together, getting him to stop talking.

 

“Admit it.” Jonas smiles before he crashes his lips onto Isak’s. 

 

Jonas keeps his grip on Isak’s chin as he kisses him deeper. His other hand, trucks around on Isak’s back, letting his weight bring them further into the mattress.   

 

“I’m not with you because you’re a boxer.” Isak pants out, his mouth still on Jonas’s. When Jonas begins to lift himself away, Isak’s hands find their way into Jonas’s hair. “I’m with because you win.” Isak smirks, pushing his fingers through his curls, bringing him down.

 

With Jonas’s hand keeping his mouth so close to his, Isak slides his legs around his waist.   Giving a deep groan, right into Jonas’s mouth, the grip Jonas has on the back of his neck turns fierce and tight, keeping Isak there. 

 

“Are you going to tell me who that guy was?” Isak almost doesn’t get it out between the hands and lips wandering down his skin.

 

“What guy?” Jonas asks dumbly, moving closer to Isak, pressing his lips down his neck.

 

He rolls his eyes, letting Jonas slide his hand underneath his shirt. He feels his breathing quicken as his palm makes his way up his thigh.

 

“ _ Schistad _ .” He breathes out.

 

There’s a quick pause in Jonas’s movements that Isak is almost too distracted to notice.

 

“No one.” Jonas quickly answers.

 

Isak sinks back into his sheets, letting his eyes shut as Jonas kisses him deeper. He almost forgets the question Jonas has tried to distract him from, until his mouth moves off of Isak’s.

 

“Are you trying to distract me?” Isak asks, breathlessly as Jonas presses his lips down his throat.

 

“Maybe.” Jonas admits still kissing the sensitive skin above Isak’s collarbone. “Is it working?” He asks, looking up at Isak.

 

“No.” Isak finally says, pushing back on Jonas’s shoulder, so he’s no longer hoovering him. Jonas moans out in frustration, and perhaps in pain as he lands back onto Isak’s mattress.

 

“Who is he, Jonas?” Isak asks again. 

 

Jonas sighs, “No one you need to worry about.” He answers.

 

“Jonas.” Isak scoffs at his vague answer.

 

“Isak.” Jonas mocks, before he quickly tries to move back on top of Isak. A thrash of the blankets is all it takes, but Jonas fumbles, and it’s not as smooth as it should be. Jonas must press on the bruises because he stills immediately pauses, wincing above Isak.

 

“Are you okay?” Isak instantly asks, reaching out to help him. 

 

He gets Jonas back onto his back, cautiously moving him so he doesn’t hurt him anymore.

 

“There goes that distraction.” Jonas chuckles, his breath still pulled in pain.

 

Isak laughs, moving onto his knees, “That was suppose to distract me?” He teases, moving to sit on Jonas when he feels his hand slide behind him, encouraging him down.

 

“Shut up.” Jonas laughs, moving his hands up Isak’s thighs, fingertips chasing up his bare skin. The soft touches continue until Jonas’s hands find his hips, and then he grips, grips Isak’s hips, pulling him further into his lap. Isak makes sure to keep his knees from knocking into Jonas’s bruises as he straddles his waist.

 

Jonas pulls Isak down to him, using the hand he has around his neck. With his legs wrapped around his waist , and his hips rolling against Jonas’s, Isak doesn’t think there’s any space left between them. Their tongues tease each other,  a small moan following out of Isak’s mouth and into Jonas’s when Jonas brings his hands onto his ass, grinding his hips down slowly. The friction dragging between them is enough to make Isak want more.

 

“Jonas, aren’t you hurt?” Isak sighs, his fingers lightly pressing over the the skin in Jonas’s chests that isn’t bruised.

 

“I’m fine.” Jonas assures him, “And, I won.” Jonas reminds him, a smile curling up his lips, and Isak can feel a warm hand coming in between his thighs.

 

His legs part easily, distracted with Jonas’s lips coming back on his. 

 

“What do you want me to do?” Isak whispers right into Jonas’s lips, still moving his hips in slow patterns against Jonas. 

 

“Ride me.” Jonas says, simply, staring up at Isak like he's waiting for it to happen. Even with Jonas’s laid back attitude, Isak blushes an “Okay”, shaking his head enthusiastically. 

 

He doesn't ever get used to it, especially when Jonas begins to hook his thumbs into his boxers. “Can’t fuck you in these?” Jonas whispers, pulling slightly.

 

The shade of red coloring Isak’s face becomes darker when he loses the last bits of clothing, sitting on top of Jonas completely bare. With Isak on top of him, Jonas takes a moment to look at Isak, fully, with nothing but the sun covering his skin.  

 

“Stop.” Isak blushes, pushing on Jonas’s chest to get him to quit. But Jonas doesn’t, Instead he smirks, “You’re so fucking hot, Isak.”

 

He rolls his eyes, the heat flushing through his body when he shuts Jonas up with a lip crushing kiss. Their lips don’t part until Jonas moves, bending his knees, so Isak can lean back on them. 

 

“Hold your leg up, baby.” Jonas tells him, folding Isak’s knee further into his chest.

 

Isak moves, fumbling for a grip on his own knee and tugging it against his chest while Jonas rearranges him, tugging his ankle to the side and letting his legs fall open naturally. “That’s it,” he murmurs. 

 

Isak hears his own breathing deepen, tipping himself backwards, and rolling his head, staring at the ceiling instead of Jonas. He blinks, sweat damp on his forehead, clumping his hair, while Jonas begins, fingers coming back wet, sliding unyielding fingers in and out. 

 

He has Isak bent in an awkward angle, especially when he pulls his mouth onto his, kissing him rougher than before.

 

“Do you know why I like you?” Jonas asks, his fingers pressing deeper into him.

 

Jonas takes the sloppy moan that leaves Isak’s mouth as an answer, whispering, “Because you look really good when I do this.” Jonas smirks just as he fucks his fingers into Isak faster.

 

Isak’s head tilts backward in a back arching, mouth parting moan that he hopes can’t be heard outside his room. Isak grinds down on Jonas’s fingers, toes curling and body shuddering as Jonas goes on.    

 

“Fuck,” Isak whispers when he can speak again, limp in Jonas’s hands. “Jonas, please.” Isak pants, “it’s fine, just fuck me already.”

 

Jonas chuckles as he slides his fingers out of Isak, blindly reaching over to Isak’s dresser for the condom he knows is somewhere up there. When he finally finds it, he pulls his shorts off, moving Isak off him, only to quickly pull him back on top of him. There’s an urgency in Isak’s moment, as he quickly straddles Jonas, like he’s unable to wait for him to be inside him.

 

Isak hoovers against the sleek lines of his angular body, the thick, blunt head of Jonas's erection pressing against the slick crease of his ass. He moves, trying to move Jonas closer, but Jonas, keeps a tight grip on his hip, keeping him from moving. “Easy.”

 

“Jonas.” Isak whines, his hands finding Jonas’s chest. His fingers dig into his skin, small crescent shaped indentations left in his skin, that only grow deeper when Jonas guides him down. Words feel thick in his mouth, so he doesn’t use them, just shifts, widening the stance of his knees, and Jonas’s cock is nudging his opening again. He tries to relax, sinking down onto him with no resistance at all.

 

It’s too much, but in the same sense it’s not exactly enough. When the curve of his ass meets  the sharp cut of Jonas’s hips, he gives himself a moment, letting all the weight come down on Jonas thighs. 

 

“Fuck yourself on me.” he breathes in Isak’s ear, voice firm enough that it makes Isak whine, loud and embarrassing, holding onto Jonas’s shoulders tightly, but he listens. 

 

He rides Jonas in quick, uneven bounces until he leans forward, bracing himself on Jonas’s ribs. The new angle is better, deeper, knocking all the air out of him. He groans, eyes closed and  full-throated and shameless. Isak has his eyes squeezed shut, panting. He can feel the sweat forming down his face and right under thighs where it’s making Jonas’s skin stick to his. 

 

His thighs have begun to burn, so when he stills, sitting full on Jonas’s cock, all he has to do is move h is hips to make him moan. He can feel it, the heat flaring through him, making him roll his hips long, and easy, and deep.

 

He’s surprised he can hear Jonas’s low, throaty groans over his own, but when he does, he fells him tighten his grip. Then Jonas is raising Isak up by his hips , driving up into him. Then again and again. The slick, wet noise of Jonas’s thrust sounds loud and filthy, so when Isak hears them, he realizes how he must look and the shame twists in his gut with something hotter.

 

“You feel so good.” Jonas moans out, while driving up, like he’s aiming for his very core. Isak would laugh, if he could think about anything besides Jonas fucking him wide open. 

 

Jonas is relentless, and Isak can no longer meet Jonas’s thrust, letting himself fall over Jonas’s chest, taking what he’s being given. He feels even more out of breath, his body pulling tight in anticipation. He scrambles for the bed-sheets with a white knuckled grip that’s keeping him anchored. 

Finally, his eyes snap shut, mouth falling open when he comes, a  blush burning through him  like a signal fire. It doesn't help, Jonas comes soon after, holding onto Isak, not letting him move off of him. He tries to settle his breathing before moving, his breath tucked inside Jonas’s neck, as he pants into his skin. 

 

Jonas gives him a minute to recover before he smacks Isak’s ass with a sticky palm and shifts, so Isak will move off of him. Isak ignores Jonas when he knots the condom, tossing it in his trash. He worries Even might see it, but he can’t find it in himself to care, right now. He decides between that and the smell of it trapped in their dorm, Isak can’t hide it. 

 

“I’d win every time if it means you’ll let me do that.” Jonas laughs, his voice still breathless. 

 

The sheets are still damp when Isak lays back on them, his skin still so warm. “You sure you can handle it?” Isak teases, knowing it’s working Jonas up when he sees the smirk curl up on his lip.

 

“Can you?” Jonas asks back, looking down, shameless at Isak’s naked body.

 

Isak may roll his eyes and reach for a sheet to cover him, but he kinda likes the way Jonas is looking at him. The bed shifts when Jonas moves closer ready to start things again when Isak stops him, “I have practice soon.” 

“Skip it.” Jonas tries to convince him, holding onto his arm.

“I can’t.” Isak laughs.

Jonas uses the grip he has around Isak’s arm, to move him closer, their skin sticky from sweat as he moves forward. When he has Isak right against his lips, Jonas pauses, and smirks, “Do you?”

Somewhere far back in Isak’s mind, he knows he should be leaving, but Jonas’s hand pulling him on his mouth makes him forget it. With the protest dying on his lips, Isak kisses Jonas. He kisses him back into the mattress, their sheets still damp from the first time. Isak almost gives in for a second time when  he finally catches sight of the small alarm clock sighting on the wooden bed stand flash a bright 11:47. 

“Fuck!” Isak shouts right in Jonas’s mouth, pushing off Jonas’s lap. “Is that the time.” 

 

Jonas winces at Isak’s sudden movement, and Isak only rushes out a busy apology as he scrambles to his closet. He dresses quickly, ignoring Jonas’s eyes watching from where he’s propped up on Isak’s pillows.

 

“Just skip practice you’re going to be late anyway” Jonas tries, “one time won’t kill you.”

 

Isak gives him a look, roughly tugging him up loose shorts, hating the way his skin is still damp. Practice starts at noon, and he’s going to be late anyway. He almost considers taking a shower,  but he thinks theres a chance he can make it on time.  

 

He hears Jonas sigh annoyingly as he races out of the room, not giving the boy in his bed another glance. He’s too busy trying to push everything in his gym bag as he hurries down the building’s flight of stairs. 

 

He only vaguely realizes the people he’s running into, but with no time to apologize, he pushes on ignoring the arngried looks.

 

Inevitably, Isak is late. Specifically, he’s seven minutes late. When he finally arrives in the gym, drills have already begun. He looks disheveled when he races to the poolside, fighting the plastic cap that refuses to go on correctly.

 

“Valtersen.” the coach shakes his head, “You know the rules, if you’re late, you can’t swim.”

 

“But.” Isak beings to protest, searching for an excuse when his couch turns away not bothering to listen any further.

 

Embarrassment floods through him as he’s forced to walk out of the gym. It’s worse than any walk of shame, having to pad back to the locker room with dry feet. The concrete is cold and wet as he hurries back, ignoring the way all eyes are still in him. He’s never been late before, and he hates the feeling of it.

 

He dresses quickly, hating every moment he’s not in the water. He frowns to himself, as he’s forced to head into the training center. Since Isak can’t swim, he has to exercise.

 

He’s still angry, ready to send Jonas a text blaming him, when he tucks himself into the weight training corner of the gym. He has only just begun his work out when he hears his name being called out.

 

“Hi.” He hears the same voice coming toward him as he lifts his upper body off the floor to see who it is.

 

Isak smiles weakly when he sees Eskild walk towards him. Eskild’s the senior swimming manager, that seems to have taken him under his wing--more that Isak would like sometimes. Yet, right now he can’t be any happier to see him.

 

“Why aren’t you in practice today?” He asks, sitting on one of the gym mats Isak’s laying back on.

 

“I came in late.” Isak explains.

 

Eskild nods, understanding exactly what Isak means. He gives Isak one look over before he clears his throat, “Does it have something to do with..” Eskild begins to say before his hand waves over Isak, “With why you look so...fucked out.”

 

Isak can feel the blush heat his cheeks as Eskild finishes his sentence.

 

“I don’t look fucked out.” Isak argues, whispering the last two words of his sentence, so low that only Eskild can hear them.

 

Eskild laughs, giving Isak a nudge with his shoulders, “Isak. look at you.”

 

He knows Eskild’s right. Between the run over here, and the shower he’s had to skip, the evidence is still all there. Stil, Isak refuses to laugh, no matter how wide Eskild’s smiles goes, or how high his eyebrows raise, he refuses to give in. 

 

“So you’re still with..” Eskild begins to ask, struggling to remember his name, “Ja-Jacob?”

 

“Jonas.” Isak corrects him.

 

“Right, Jonas!” Eskild remembers the name, “How is that going with  _ Jonas _ ?”

 

Isak shrugs, he looks past Eskild into the center of the gym. “It’s good.” 

 

“Must be.” Eskild hums, “if it has you running late to practice.”

 

“I slept in!” Isak objects. 

 

“Right.” Eskild chuckles, even though they both know it’s a lie, “Well, with meets coming up, you probably want to stop  _ sleeping  _ in all the time.”

 

“It was just one time, Eskild.” Isak tries to argue.

 

Eskild laughs, pushing himself up onto his feet, “Things can’t be that good if it’s only  _ one  _ time.” Eskild teases, making Isak blush harder. 

 

“Go away, Eskild.” Isak whines, making sure he pushes Eskild’s shoulder hard enough to get him to stop laughing. 

 

“Okay, okay, Isak.” Eskild sings, standing up, but still laughing. “Have fun, working out.” He says looking around in slight disgust before he says, “ and don’t be late next time.” He waves off, and Isak turns back to his matt.

 

***

 

Isak body aches slightly when he makes his way back up to the pool. His workout  seeming twice as long than it actually was. The pool’s empty since his practice is officially over. He drops his towel near the benches, ready to dive right in. After being forced to sit practice out, Isak feels like it’s been longer than it actually is since he’s last been in.

 

The water’s cold by the time he finally gets it, sinking below the surface into the silence. Blue is all Isak can see through his dark tinted goggles. As he makes it through the first laps, Isak’s able to forget about the cold, and his coach. His thoughts fall silent as he moves through the waves.

 

He begins with backstrokes, bending his arm over his head, each time, breaking the surface of the water. He makes sure to grab it back, creating just enough pull that he feels like he’s cutting through it. With his legs kicking behind him, Isak makes sure to keep his body pulled together. 

 

Isak goes through his drills, working harder now since he missed practice.

 

It’s only when the lights above him begin to dim that Isak realizes how late it has become. The pool always closes earlier than the gym, so he’s not completely alone when he makes it back into the locker room.

 

Despite the shower, Isak still feels sore as he walks back to their dorm. Chlorine seems to hang off his clothing and skin. He wants nothing more than to sleep until his 9am class. 8 hours of undisturbed sleep is all Isak can think of when he pushes himself into the room. 

 

His eyes immediately roll when he sees the back of Jonas’s head. He’s ignored all of Jonas’s messages, too angry at him for making him late today.

 

Despite letting the door slam, Jonas doesn’t bother turning around from where he and Even are stuck in the battered futon with game consoles clutched in their hands.

 

When Isak lets his bag drop just as loudly, the game doesn’t pause, but Jonas throws back a quick and confused, “Hey” when he hears it.

 

Isak says nothing back, huffing loudly at him instead. The game goes on, playing loudly enough that it makes Isak angrier. He makes sure that when he kicks his shoes off, they clash against his wardrobe, loud enough that Jonas can’t ignore it.

 

It’s after he’s in bed that he hears the game pause, and Jonas sigh. Isak ignores him, turning over so he has his back to him. He hears footsteps leading up to his bed until there’s a hand pulling at his sheet.

 

“Isak, What’s wrong?” Jonas finally asks.

 

He continues to ignore Jonas until the sheets are off his face, so he can no longer avoid him.

 

“If you’re angry, just say something.” Jonas says, staring at Isak hoping he’ll give in. When Isak doesn't Jonas steps back, “Fine. Be angry.”

 

“I am angry.” Isak yells back, surprising Jonas with his sudden outbreak. It’s then that  Isak rushes onto his feet, ready to fight. “I was late to practice today.”

 

“Okay.” Jonas looks at him, disinterested,“How was I supposed to know, you haven't told me anything. I can’t fucking read your mind.”

 

“But you knew I was going to be late.” Isak says. 

 

“Why are you telling me this, Isak.” Jonas sighs, his voice flat from impatience and annoyance.

 

“Because you made me late!” Isak finally yells.

 

Jonas jumps from his seat, making his way back in front of Isak, “I didn’t make you late.” He argues, anger beginning to find its way in his tone.

 

“Yes, you did! I told you I had to leave, but you..you didn’t let me!” Isak voice raises.

 

“Are you serious?” Jonas’s face pulls into a scowl.

 

“Yes.” Isak yells back.

 

“You could have left!” Jonas yells, “it's not like I was holding you hostage.”

 

“No, but.” Isak argues back, his anger beginning to falter.

 

“You can say no. You don’t have to do everything I say.” Jonas is still angry, “Don’t put that on me.”

 

Jonas’s words leave a moment of bitter silence in the room, and Isak can’t say anything. Unable to find the right words or protest, he yells a sharp,“Fuck you, Jonas” and pushes on his chest until he stumbles backwards.

 

He storms out of the room, slamming the door, stomping down the hallway. He furiously continues down the hall, letting his fist come down loudly on the door. He doesn’t stop pounding until the door opens, and Magnus is angrily, squinting at him.

 

He looks ready to yell, but after looking at Isak he doesn’t. “Even?” He asks, knowing it’s the only thing he has to.

 

However, he look surprised when Isak shakes his head, “No. Jonas.”

 

“Oh.” Magnus lets out, stepping aside so Isak can move in. The room’s dark, except for Mahdi’s desk lamp, dimily illuminating the room. When he walks in, Mahdi finally looks up from the textbook. He moves his headphones off his ears, letting them sit around his neck before he speaks, “Everything alright?” He asks looking between Magnus and Isak.

 

Magnus and Mahdi both wait for Isak to answer. When he finally does, he collapses on their sofa, ignoring the way the textbooks dig into his sides. “Yeah, it’s fine. It’s cool if I sleep here tonight, right?”

 

Mahdi and Magnus both nod, before a pillow is thrown to him, a blanket quickly following. Right before he’s down, he swears he hears Jonas’s name as Mahdi and Magnus whisper something to each other, but he knows it can't be good. And right now, he'd agree to it if he could hear it. 

 

***

 

“Isak.” He doesn’t wake up the first time he hears it. It’s only after he feels a hand accompany his name, shaking his gently that he does. For a moment after his eyes open, he doesn’t remember where he is until Mahdi’s face comes into view.

 

“I’m leaving, man.” Mahdi tells him, and Isak sees the backpack he has slung over his shoulder.

 

“What time is it?” He yawns, pulling himself up off the couch.

 

“8:15.” Mahdi answers, “I’ve got an 8:30, but you can stay here as long as you need. Magnus will be back by noon.”

 

“Thanks.” Isak smiles, weakly. The room is still dark, but he can see Mahdi walk out the door. 

 

Sitting alone in Magnus’s and Mahdi’s room only makes Isak feel worse about everything. Then when he finds his phone free from any text from Jonas, it doesn’t get any better. 

 

It’s almost like a walk of shame, walking back from his friend's dorm back to his. He doesn’t think the morning can get any worse until he checks his pocket, and realizes his key isn’t in it. Isak almost just forgets it, even thinks about ditching class, or going without his books. He contemplates, hesitantly standing in front of his own dorm with his knuckles hovering over the wood. He knows Even’s in there, but he’s asleep. He has afternoon classes, that let him sleep in until early noon. Isak knows Even already hates when Isak’s alarm goes off too early, so he knows Even won’t be any happier when Isak forces him up from loud knocking. 

 

He can already see the silent frown Even will open the door with, and the weak apology Isak will have to ramble off multiple times. After stomping out of his own room last night, he wishes he hadn’t returned.

 

Finally, Isak knocks, not loudly at first, but after Even doesn’t answer, he hits the door louder. His heart’s beating to the sound of the knocking in the silent hallway. He’s almost about to call out for Even, when the door swings open. 

 

As Isak expected, Even’s standing there, barefoot and bare chested, his eyes squinted from the harsh hallway light. When he looks at Isak, there’s not horrible smirk or harsh  glare. Instead, he does nothing, but open the door, and move back into bed. Isak doesn’t move at first, not until Even’s back in bed, ignoring Isak. 

 

“Thanks.” Isak whispers when he steps in and shuts the door. He keeps the light off, moving around the room in silence. He makes sure his keys are in his bag, when he leaves again. 

 

***

 

Isak spends most of his lectures staring at his phone and at blank notebook. He tries not to give Jonas’s argument any thought or validity, but he can’t seem to let it go. Finally, it erupts out of him.

 

“Do you think I have a problem saying no?” He blurts out making Mahdi and Magnus turn up from their books.

 

Mahdi sits his pencil down, looking at Isak confusedly, “What?”

 

Isak doesn’t repeat his question, remaining silent as he waits for their answer.

 

“Well.” Mahdi voice suggests. He looks at Magnus once before he continues, “I don’t think you have problem with it.”

 

Isak begins to feel a little less pathetic, until Mahdi adds on, “Because you can’t have a problem with something you ignore.”

 

“What is that suppose to be mean?” Isak snaps back, loud enough that Mahdi has to sush him. 

 

“It’s just...you don’t say it, like ever.”

 

“I can say it.” Isak scowls back, his books being pushed out from him by his own hands as he goes to cross them over his chest.

 

“No you can’t.” Magnus adds in.

 

Mahdi turns to glare at Magnus before he speaks, “Where is this even coming from, Isak?”

 

Isak sighs before he leans onto the table in defeat, “Jonas said it.” He explains shortly, and both of his friends laugh.

 

“What?” Isak interrupts them, not able to find the joke within it.

 

“Of course Jonas would say that.” Magnus says, still laughing. “You can’t say no, especially to Jonas. You’re like his-”

 

“Magnus.” Mahdi stops him before he can say thing he’ll regret. “Look, Isak. We’re your best friends, so we know how you get when you’re with Jonas.”

 

“I’m not any different when I’m with Jonas.”

 

“Okay, Isak.” Magnus scoffs, rolling his eyes. He sits up quickly, obviously done with the conversation, “Do we have to talk about Jonas everytime we hang out.” Magnus sighs.

 

“Please.” Mahdi chuckles, closing his laptop in agreeance, “So can we go eat something to eat now.”

 

Luckily, the library is close enough  to the dining hall that it takes nothing more than a quick walk up the side ramp to get there. It’s late enough in the night that the dinner rush is over, so the dining hall is so empty that there’s no long line or awkward group table to avoid. Instead, they’re surrounded by single students eating dinners in their pajamas when Mahdi says casually over a plate of fries, “Not to bring up Jonas again, but where is he?” 

 

“I don’t know.” Isak admits.

 

“I thought you two were much closer than that.” Magnus laughs.

 

“He’s mad at me.” Isak shrugs, trying to seem less upset about it then he actually is.

 

“I thought that was the point of not being in relationship, not having to deal with relationship-y things, like fights.”

 

“Wait” Mahdi realizes, “Is that what you guys are arguing about. The whole ‘no’ thing.?”

 

“Jonas made me late for practice, and he doesn't think he did.” Isak explains.

 

“Well did he?”

 

“Yes.” Isak argues, before he says “Kind of.” a little softer, later.

 

“What happened?”

 

“I told him I had to go, and he wouldn’t let me.”

 

“He wouldn’t let you or you let him.”

 

“Does it matter. I was with him and I was late.”

 

“I don’t know Isak, it kind of sounds like you’re blaming him.”

 

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side.”

 

“Yes.” Magnus reminds him, “And as much as we like to see you fight, this one does seem really stupid.”

 

“More stupid than usual.” Mahdi adds in.

 

“Okay. I’m done.” Isak puts his hands down, “no more Jonas-talk.”

 

“What else are we supposed to talk about it?” Mahdi teases.

 

“Like anything.” Isak rolls his eyes, “Like what we’re gonna do for halloween this weekend.”

 

“Well, Vilde invited me to a party.” Magnus says, making Isak and Mahdi both groan.

 

“What? She’s real.” Magnus argues.

 

Mahdi and Isak share a glance before they laugh a “Sure” in unison. 

 

Magnus pouts a bit, glaring at his friends, “I met her in one of my education classes.”

 

“Okay. Magnus.” Mahdi grins, “She’s real.” He says sarcastically.

 

“She is!” Magnus continues to argue.

 

“Then why haven’t we’ve seen her!” Isak says.

 

“Because you’re always with Jonas” Magnus says to Isak, before he turns to Mahdi, “and you’d embarrass me.”

 

“Me, embarrass, you?” Madhi laughs.

 

“And I’m not always with Jonas.” Isak argues back. 

 

Magnus scoffs at both of them before he says, “Who’s delusional now.”

 

“Still you.” Isak and Mahdi continue to laugh out, muttering a mockingly “she’s real” under their breaths just to piss Magnus off even more.

 

“Don’t you have a roommate to fight with.” Magnus huffs out, annoyed by his friends.

 

Isak’s laugher immediately ceases. He glares intensely at his friends, “No Even-talk either.”

  
  


***

 

It’s wednesday before Isak sees Jonas again. He finds him in the weight section of the gym, alone. Jonas doesn’t look up when Isak stands in front of him. Instead he moves off the bench press so he can reload another ring onto the bar. 

 

“Jonas.” Isak says, watching him move onto his back.

 

“I’m busy.” is all Jonas says continuing to ignore him.

 

Isak would be lying if he said he wasn’t struggling to focus on the argument when Jonas is bench pressing over a hundred pounds in nothing but low riding shorts. 

 

“I’m trying to apologize, so can you can stop.” He pleads.

 

Finally, Jonas sits the weights down, letting Isak continue, “So maybe it wasn’t completely your fault that I was late to practice.” Isak begins, not looking at Jonas.

 

It’s only when he hears Jonas laugh that he looks up.

 

“You know why I like you, Isak.” Jonas says, moving back to lean against the back of the bench press. 

 

“Jonas.” Isak blushes remembering his answer of that same question question when they were back in his bedroom.

 

Jonas must remember it too, because he laughs too. “Not just because of that.” He shakes his head, “but because you’re easy.”

 

“What the fuck.” Isak’s mouth drops.

 

“I didn't mean it like that.” Jonas chuckles, “I mean, what we have is easy. “ He explains, “We’re not a relationship, so all this fighting we're doing, doesn't makes sense to me.”

 

“I know.” Isak nods, 

 

“So don’t make this complicated.” Jonas says, “I don’t want to fight.” Jonas sits up, moving closer so he’s there’s just a breath between them, “I just wanna fuck.”

 

Isak grows red, especially when he remembers they’re standing in a well crowded gym. 

 

“So,” Isak says, trying to hide his embarrassment, “Are you done here?”

 

“Yea.” Jonas grins, knowing exactly where this is going, “but you don’t have practice or anything. I don’t want to make you late again.”

 

“Shut up, Jonas.” Isak rolls his eyes turning away, so he can lead them both out of the gym.

 

Jonas doesn’t bother changing out of his work out clothes, only taking the time to pull on an oversized hoodie, from his gym bag.

 

“We can go back to mine.” Jonas tells him as they begin to make their way back towards his dorm building. “My roommate's gone.”

 

“Why is your roommate never there?” Isak asks, slightly jealous that Jonas’s roommate is basically non-existent.

 

“He’s on the basketball team, I told you this, right?” Jonas says, and Isak tries to remember if Jonas mentioned it before. But, he’s only met Jonas’s roommate once, Even then it was nothing more, but a quick ‘hi’ at the beginning of the year, that Isak barely remembers.

 

“What’s his name again?”

 

“Yousef.” Jonas reminds him, “And he’s away a lot for games, practices, and whatever else college teams do.”

 

“I’m on a college team.” Isak rolls his eyes.

 

“Yea, but it’s the swim team.”

 

Isak tries not to seem offended, but he must fail, because Jonas looks a bit regretful.

 

“Our team’s actually third in the state.” Isak says, pushing past Jonas into his room. 

 

“Right.” Jonas nods, collapsing on the bed, his sweatshirt falling open.

 

Isak moves with him, landing on top of Jonas, only to have Jonas push him under him. It’s then Isak finally realizes the bruises have softened to a fading yellow.  Even the opening on his cheek is nearly healed over

 

“So.” Jonas says when Isak won’t stop looking at him, “What are you doing this weekend, for halloween?”

 

“Nothing.” Isak answers. His only plans include watching one-star horror films with Madi and Magnus until they pass out, but he doesn’t tell Jonas that. 

 

“There’s a party.” Jonas says. “You probably won’t know anyone, since it’s mostly boxing guys.”

 

The idea of going to a party full of guys that have actually beat Jonas up, scares him, but Jonas quickly reassures him, “won’t be anything like the fights.”

 

“If you go, you do have to wear a costume.” Jonas adds.

 

“Are you serious?” Isak laughs.

 

“Yea.’ Jonas smiles, “You should wear something hot too.”

 

Isak rolls his eyes, leaning closer into Jonas, “What are you going to be?”

 

“A boxer.” Jonas answers.

 

“Wow.” Isak mocks, “How did you come with that?”

 

“Shut up.” Jonas teases, “And you just want to see me without my shirt.”

 

“Get over yourself, Jonas.” Isak scoffs, letting his hands coming up to Jonas’s chest.

 

“You know.” Jonas starts, “since I’m going as a boxer, you should  be a ring girl.”

 

“You just want to see me in a skirt.” Isak mocks.

 

“Yea.” Jonas admits shamelessly. “It’d be hot.”

 

“Jonas.” Isak squeals, making Jonas laugh from his reaction. 

 

***

 

When Isak returns back to his dorm, he’s not sure if Even is in the room until he feels the door shut back on him from where he’s trying to push it open.

 

“Even, let me in!” Isak yells, his hands still trying to push his way in.

 

“Why aren’t you at Jonas’s?” Even asks still fighting with Isak over the door.

 

Isak’s surprised that Even would know that, but he realizes that Even is Jonas’s bestfriend, so if Isak knows his roommate is gone, Even does too.

 

Finally Even opens the door, but just enough to get his face out, “I need the room tonight.” Even says, looking directly at Isak as he speaks.

 

“Where am I supposed to go?!” Isak shouts in frustration, not caring that the rest of the hallway can hear him, “It’s my room too!”

 

“Just go, Isak.” Even says again, his stance unmoving.

 

“Let me in.” Isak repeats, before he warns, “I’ll get the RA.”

 

Before either of them can anything else, Isak hears a softer “Even.” The voice belongs to neither of them.It’s then Isak understands exactly why Even won’t let him in.

 

Even’s still glaring at Isak, but he drops his hand from the frame. Isak sees her blonde hair first, and then he realizes she’s laying across Even’s bed. The rooms dimly lit, so Isak would feel bad for walking in and interrupting them, if Even hadn’t been so abrasive.  

He walks awkwardly in, collapsing on his own bed, ignoring the whispering going on the other side.

 

“Is he going to stay here.” He hears the girl say quietly to Even.

 

Isak tries to ignore it, and keep his head down, but he can feel both of their eyes on him as he sits there. He still tries to ignore it even after Even says, “I can try to get him to leave.”

 

“No.” The girl stops him, “What if he gets the RA. I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

 

“He wouldn't it.” Even promises, “We can go to yours if you want?” Even suggests.

 

“We can’t. Eva’s there and studying.” the girl explains.

 

“I’m sorry.” Isak hears Even apologize.

 

When the girls stand up to leave, Isak braces himself for the argument to begin again. However, right before she leaves she whispers to Even again, “ That’s Isak, right?” Even must nod because the girl continues in a very quiet voice, “He’s cute.”

 

“Vilde.” Even finally sas her name, shushing her out the door. “Be safe.” He wishes her goodbye.

 

As soon as Isak catches the name, he nearly freezes. He wonders if this is the same Vilde, Magnus knows, but he Isak doesn't have anytime to process what has just happened because Even’s already stomping to his bed, “I told you I needed the room, Isak!” Even yells, his voice beginning to raise.

 

“You just can’t kick me out, whenever you want.” Isak says trying to keep his voice from faltering.

 

“You do it all the time.” Even argues back.

 

Isaks face pulls in multiple directions, angrily struggling to come with an argument, “This was my room, I was here first.”

  
‘I’m not leaving.” Even says, looking furious when he takes a step forward, so he’s stuck right in Isak’s face. 

 

This moment of silence stretches between them, and Isak almost doesn’t know what is going to happen. Tension surrounds them, the anger still caught tightly in their throats. They’re standing so close, Isak swear he can see their anger tangibly crawling up to their lips. For moment, Isak catches Even’s eyes flicker down to his lips, finding himself doing the same. The blood rushing and and crashing in his ears, pulling his chest so he can’t breathe. can’t hear his beating chest and his breathing. Heat flashes through Isak, and he’s not sure if it’s just out of anger. The clenching of Even’s jaw tightens, and Isak’s so close to him that he can watch the muscles move. When Even moves, Isak’s not sure if he wants Even closer or further way.

 

Luckily, he doesn’t have to think about that, because Even moves first. He pushes past Isak, breaking the invisible force that was holding them together. When it crashes, it splinters the room into silence.

 

“Neither am I.” Isak finally sumbles out, feeling as shaken and unstable than ever.Somehow he’s been left even more breathless.

 

He’s not sure if Even even heard him, when the door he let close behind him sounds over him. Standing in the room, doesn’t feel any better, after what just happened. So, he leaves the room as soon as he thinks Even’s far down the hall. He reaches to Magnus’s and Madhi’s dorm faster than he’s ever had. Their door is opened when he reaches for the knob, letting himself in.

 

Both of the boys look surprised by his entrance, but continue their conversation anyway.

 

“Isak.” Mahdi includes him into theri conversation, “Tell Magnus we’re not calling our room the M&M room, please.”

 

“I’m just tired of having to say both of our names.” Magnus says.

 

“Isak! Please talk to him!” Mahdi groans, hoping his friend will support him.

 

When they look over for his answer, they realize something’s wrong. 

 

“Did something happen?” Mahdi asks noticing hing the look on his friend's face.

 

“Something really weird just happened.” Isak finally speaks.

 

“With Jonas.”

 

Isak shakes his head, “No with Even.”

 

Isak sees the smile on Magnus’s face, but he stops him before he can get any ideas, “No.” He shakes his head, “Not that.”

 

“Then what?” Mahdi asks

 

“I don’t know.” Isak admits, “But I can’t go back.”

 

“No offense, Isak, but you can’t hide in our dorm everytime something goes wrong.”

 

Isak gorans throwing himself across their sofa, “Why not?”

 

“Because.” Mahdi fails to come up with something quickly, “Because we have to go do laundry, and no one’s going to be here.”

 

“Let me come with you.” Isak pleads.

 

“You want to come to the laundromat at 7pm on a thursday night?”

 

“Yes.’ Isak lies. He looks at Magnus and Mahdi with sympathetic eyes.

 

“Fine.” they both agree, “But you have to carry my clothes.”  Magnus says before he’s throwing a white case full of his clothes at Isak.

 

Isak nodges it, making Mahdi laugh as he follows him out the door.

 

With baskets of dirty clothes, loaded in their trunk, they make it to the laundry mat 10 minutes off campus. Despite the laundromat in their building’s first floor, most kids go off campus. The washer’s are bigger, and there’s no line or kids waiting around to steal your loaded machine. 

 

Dryer warmth and the smell of detergent fills the building, so Isak doesn’t mind even being there. He watches Magnus and Mahdi sort through their clothes stuffing as much as they can, so they only have to pay for one load.

 

“This place is actually really creepy.” Magnus whispers when they sit in one of the booths near their clothes.

 

They took out over the concrete floor, and fluorescent lighting, making the grey walls look somewhat duller in the light. Magnus is right, the laundromat is creepy.

 

“It’s not so bad.” Mahdi shrugs, “I heard that girl Sara had sex in here one time.”

 

“Sara Nørstelien?” Magnus laughs, “What? When? How do you even know that?”

 

Mahdi shrugs, smirking, as his friends realize the answer.

 

“Ew.” Magnus and Isak both goran in disgust, “When?”

 

“After one of our study groups.” Mahdi says.

 

“But why here?” Isak asks, looking around in confusion.

 

Mahdi shrugs, “It’s like an ACU thing, like running through the fountain, and eating at Sticky’s.”

 

“Are you serious?” Magnus shouts, “that’s a thing?”

 

“That’s gross.” Isak adds.

 

“Kind of.” Mahdi agrees, “But are you even in college if you don’t hook up in a laundromat?”

 

“Yes.”Isak stares at him with annoyed look. “And normal too.”

 

You’re missing out.” Mahdi chuckles, “A lot of people have done it though.” He tells them, “Maybe Mags and Vilde will.” He teases, knowing it’ll just annoy Magnus.

 

Magnus’s face pulls into a scowl when he realizes Mahdi’s joke is at his expense. Isak feels awkward especially when he realizes that not only is Vilde real, but she’s with Even.

 

“No.” Magnus pouts, “She’s not like that.”

 

“How would you know?” Isak can’t stop himself from asking. It earns him two confused looks from Mahdi and Magnus, until Magnus is asking a confused, “What?”

 

“It’s just.” Isak struggles to find the right words, “How well do you actually know her outside of class?” When both of his friends are still trying to understand what Isak’s trying to say, he continues, “Like what if she friends with people you hate?”

 

“Like who?” Magnus laughs. 

 

“What if she’s friends with, like, Jonas or Even?” Isak suggests, worried they might see through him, but it only makes his friends laugh harder.

 

“If she’s friends with either of them, I’d drop out.” Magnus struggles to get out though his own fits of laughter.

 

Isak fights the urge to tell Magnus the truth, forcing a laughed out, “Right.” he hopes isn’t too noticeable. He’s glad he only has to fake it shortly, because their washers signal off with a loud alarm, taking the attention off of him. As they’re switching their loads, Isak hopes they’re more than just one Vilde at their school.

 

***

 

On Thursdays Isak only has one class, but his schedule becomes busier when he receives a vaguely short email from his coach asking him to his office. Isak panics thinking about it all the way up until he walks in, absolutely sure this is about his tardiness. 

 

He walks into his office, nervously taking a seat in front of his desk. Isak’s ready to apologize when  his coach looks at him, folding his hands over his desk. “So, Mr. Valtersen.” He begins, “As you know our swimming team will taking part in the state’s competition this December.”

 

Isak nods unsure where the conversation is going, but he’s expecting the worse anyway.

 

“So you must know each year, we pick 7 students to represent us in specified categories.”He continues, “And I want you to know, Isak, we are considering sending you to the state competition.”

 

“Are you serious?’ Is all Isak can say, before he rushes out multiple, “Thank you, coach”.

 

“You’ve definitely proven yourself.” He compliments him, “But because of this we will begin exclusive training. Night training specifically. It’s a commitment, but the benefits are worth it.” He assures him.

 

“Of course.” Isak nods, “anything. I’m completely committed.”

 

His coach smiles, standing to shake his hand, “congratulations.”

 

“Thank you” he says for the tenth time, walking out of the office, the happiest he’s been.

 

His happiness quickly disappears when he makes it inside his dorm. There’s still too much silence between he and Even, but Isak thinks it’s better than the fighting. 

 

They refuse to acknowledge each other moving around the room in an invisible forcefield, only letting the tension spread and stick between them. Isak thinks it’s stuck in the air, but when Jonas comes over, oblivious to it, he thinks only he and Even can see it.

 

“You’re coming tomorrow, right?” Jonas looks up from his phone.

 

Isak notices it’s not only Jonas that’s waiting for his answer. 

 

“Yea.” Isak finally answers, laughing when Jonas smiles. “When are we going?”

 

“The part starts after 11, but I have something to do before, so I’ll meet you there.” Jonas tells him, making it seem more like a question.

 

Isak finds himself holding back his question, choosing not to ask Jonas what his other plans are. Instead, he simply nods, there’s no complication in that.

 

“So, I’ll see you later that night.” Jonas says, “hopefully wearing you know what.

 

Isak instinctively rolls his eyes at Jonas’s smirk, “I’m not wearing that.” 

 

***

 

Except, Isak does wear it--he wears it all. The breezy red skirt, falling mid thigh, hung snug around his waist with a fake everlast belt. The tight red shirt covering nothing more than it needs to. He even wears the fake thin robe, but only because it covers more skin.

 

Isak can essentially feel his nerves buzzing through him when he gets inside the building. The neon lights keep the room a dark, red and blue, casting a blur of purple shadows on the sides of strangers faces. Isak doesn’t recognize a single person there, so when he doesn’t immediately see Jonas, he almost leaves.

 

He finds the alcohol quick. There’s boxes of warm canned beer, and a kitchen table stuffed with half full liquor bottles. A large punch bowl sits in the middle that Isak fills his cup up with. He sips from it slowly, walking around the house in search. He keeps his eyes on his phone, anxiously waiting for Jonas to answer him.

 

The entire house is so dimly lit that he finds comfort in the dark corners he can stand and hide in. He tries to ignore the looks on the faces he passes when they see the short skirt Isak’s wearing. He finds a nice corner in the house near the entrance so he can see the people as they come, attempting to distract himself with the costumes. Unsurprisingly, half the guys show up in boxing gloves, with towels curled around their necks. Finally when he’s tired of seeing boxers and cracked gloves, he calls Jonas. He doesn't answer, but Isak tries again. When it goes straight to voicemail, he grows more frustrated.

 

He drinks a little more when he realizes it’s past midnight, and Jonas still hasn’t met him. When he fills his cup, Isak takes another trip around house. He has to fit through small slits in the crowd, struggling to make through with so many people in it.

 

Knowing no one is making Isak especially nervous. However, when he finally finds a familiar face, it’s not the one he’s ready to see. Once he sees Even, he stops, ready to leave the the house. When Even sees him, Isak notices he looks as surprised as him. There’s even a pause in his conversation when their eyes finally meet. Isak quickly looks away, moving backwards, trying to put distance between them. He catches Even  him, looking at him with something Isak can’t explain, but it almost looks like panic. 

 

His attempt to get away from Even sends him directly into someone’s chest. Whoever it is, is big enough that it has nearly no effect on them. However, it sends Isak stumbling and clumsily falling forward. he accidentally knocks into someone. Luckily, whoever’s chest he crashes into, catches him. 

 

“Alright there?” The man chuckles, still holding onto Isak.  His fingertips feel rough from where they're sitting on Isak’s waist, right where the skirt ends and the shirt begins.

 

“Yea.” Isak nods, regaining his balance. He tries to walk on, when he feels the man’s grip tighten just enough that it holds him in place.

 

“Wait, slow down.” The guy smiles, his eyes leering down at Isak and his costume. “Who do we have here?”

 

“Isak.” He answers, trying keep himself from shrinking into fear.

 

“Isak.” the man repeats, his voice sultry and low, “You here with anyone?’

Isak looks around frantically, trying to come up with a name, but when that fails, all he can say is “No one”.

 

He regrets it instantly when the man doesn’t let him go. His smile only grows wider with Isak’s answer. His eyes drop to Isak’s legs, 

 

“Do you wanna leave with someone.”He asks, his eyes crawling up his skin, shamelessly.

 

“I have to go.” Isak struggles to tell the man, trying to twist out of his hands. However, his grip is harsh and unforgiving, not letting Isak move.

 

“Don’t be like that.” The man grins.

 

When Isak realizes he’s not going to take listen to him, Isak’s arm comes up, ready to push back and hit him when Even appears in front of him.

 

Even looks between them, and it doesn’t take much than that to realize what’s going on. “Is everything alright?” Even asks, only looking at Isak for an answer. Yet, the man speaks for him, “We’re good.”

 

Isak is still struggling, hoping Even will do something about it. So, he’s grateful when Even takes a step forward, “Doesn’t look like it.” He says, glaring at the hands that are still on Isak. “Let him go.” Even warns, his face fixed into a serious look.

 

“Who are you?” The man spits out pushing Isak out of the way so he can stand directly in front of Even.

 

Even doesn’t back down, or answer his question. Instead he warns the guy, “Go. and don’t bother him again.”

 

The man looks at Isak, like he’s debating whether or not he’s worth the fight. He must decide he’s not because he mutters bitterly pushing past them.

 

When he’s alone with Even, he’s about to thank him, when Even asks, ““What are you doing here?

 

His tone is still harsh. It’s the first they’ve spoken since their last argument, so Isak thinks it’s almost fitting that it takes a grimmy party to make them confront each other. And as much as he hates finding comfort in Even, Isak begins to feel a little less alone, especially since Even helped him get away from that guy. 

 

He knows Even must know Jonas invited him, but Isak answers him anyway, “Jonas invited me.” Isak says, his head tilted upwards. His breathing has begun to even out, no longer scared of lingering eyes, now that he’s with Even. 

 

Even looks around before he speaks, “He’s not here.”

 

“Wow.” Isak sighs sarcastically, ”How long did it take you to figure that out?” He scoffs, looking everywhere, but at Even.

 

“Aren’t you going to leave?” Even asks, but his tone makes it seem less like a question. 

 

If it weren’t for Even, Isak would leave. It’s exactly what Even wants him to do, so he decides he won’t. He figures the worst has already happened to him, and with Even nearby nothing else is bound to happen.

 

“No.” Isak refuses to listen to Even, crossing his arms, just to prove how stubborn he is. 

 

“He’s not coming.” Even tells him.

 

“I don't care.” Isak lies, looking around, hoping Even isn’t right. He knows he is, but he doesn’t want to admit it.

 

Isak tries to push past him, walking back through the house. 

 

“After all that.” Even reminds him, following close behind, “You're going to stay?”

 

Isak ignores him, still leading them down a hallway.

 

“For what?” Even continues. “For Jonas.” He yells, holding on to Isak’’s shoulder just to get him to stop.

 

“He’s not coming.” Even repeats.

 

He has Isak facing him, when Isak finally responds, “Leave me alone, Even.” Isak yells, taking a step forward, so he can glare at Even from right in front of him.

 

He tries to move past him when Even pulls him back, “Then, leave.”

 

“Stop trying to  tell me what to do.” Isak neary screams, voice caught in his throat. He’s close enough to Even’s face that his breathe falls over his lips.

 

Isak’s so furious that he could yell, if he thought it would do anything good. He doesn't understand why Even never wants him around. At first, he thought it may have been jealousy. The more time he spends with Jonas, the less time Even does. So, it doesn’t make sense to him that Even always chasing him away when they’re alone. However, after their last fight, he may understand now.

 

There’s a second of silence before Even grabs onto his shirt. All the anger between them gets caught between their lips. He kisses Even. It’s a tooth clashing kiss, that’s just as rough as it should be. When Even nearly shoves back against the wall, Isak lets out a low groans that goes straight to Even’s mouth. He throws his hands behind Even’s neck, pressing his body against Even’s.

 

When he feels Even pulling back, Isak quickly threads his fingers through Even’s hair, keeping him from moving any further away from him. Isak knows that if they stop know, they’ll stop for good, and right now, he wants this. He wants Even. But he doesn’t want to think about it. So instead, he brings his knee up, so he can curl it around Even’s waist. He isn’t surprised when Even’s hand cups the back of his thigh, his fingers gripping his knee until he’s holding him up, so tightly that Isak’s pushed so closely against the wall that he can’t breathe. 

 

Hs eyes are shut, but he feels Even walking them backwards, He doesn't know where until Isak’s back hits open the door. They’re still kissing when he’s backed u against another wall. Isak’s skirt comes up with Even’s hands, so Even can get his hands up Isak’s legs. Cold fingertips press into his skin with a tight enough grip that it’s supporting all his weight. Even’s jeans are rough against his skin when he wraps them around Even’s waist.  He pulls him even closer, grabbing the back of Isak’s neck, bringing him into an open-mouthed kiss, his tongue darting in anger and urgency.

 

His lips are slick when he finally lets Isak go, staring at him with wide eyes. The look of panic is back in Even’s eyes when he looks over Isak. 

 

“Are you-” Even begins to ask, “Do you-” He tries again, when Isak tightens his hands through his hair, pulling hard enough that it makes Even stop talking, “Shut up.” Isak nearly growls pushing himself against Even. 

 

It’s the first Even’s listened to him.  He pushes Isak further into the wall, kissing him harder, shoving the robe off Isak’s shoulders. He’d feel the coldness if he wasn’t so close to the heat radiating between them. When Even finally reaches down, pushing Isak’s boxers down, Isak feels the anticipation settle down in his stomach.

 

Isak’s skirt bunches up and collects against his stomach, making it easier for Even to touch him. He’s hanging loosely around Even’s neck, when he reaches into his pocket, struggling to do it all at once.

 

“Hold your skirt up.” Even tells him, breaking their kiss to look at Isak. 

 

Isak listens, reaching down collecting the fabric just for Even. He tries not to think about it, especially since he’s the only one with his pants down. Isak gives a deep groan, right into Even’s mouth when Even’s hold on his thigh tightens when he pulls Isak downward, groaning when he feels Isak move over his cock, hard and hot even through his pants. It’s enough to make Isak push Even back just enough that he can get his hands in between them. Frantically, he pushes Even’s pants down, everything going down with it, until he feels his skin. 

They don’t bother taking anything else off after that, rustling around their clothes just to give them enough space to touch. His eyes shut when Even finally  slicks up his fingers, pushing one into Isak with his eyebrows drawn together in concentration. Isak’s head fall back, violently against the wall, just enough to make him hiss. 

 

By the time the Even stretches him open, Isak can't look at him anymore. It's too much, the slow drag of his fingers in and out of Isak, making him push down against them. 

 

“Just” Isak pants in frustration, wanting Even to go on. He digs his fingers into his chest, “Just--- _ Even _ .” He moans, and Even knows exactly what he wants.

 

Isak waits breathless, trying to swallows down his nerves as he hears Even struggles to open the condom with wet hands. Isak has to hold onto to Even shoulders holding his own weight, as Even rolls the condom over himself, before he’s bringing Isk down

 

Isak’s throat tightens and his breath stops, like he wants to scream but he’s unable to find the air. He’s suddenly so full, and the pressure moves maddeningly that he writhes helplessly, impatiently, His skirt moves with him, twisting and bouncing when Even thrusts inside him. He feels the jerk of his hips into his ass, the rapid slam of Even’s cock driving inside him frantically. It’s a dull rhythmic thud of his balls against Isak as Eve’s hips snap up with a desperate force.

 

“Even.” Isak gasps when Even lifts Isak higher, hips changing with the angle and thrusts. 

 

Isak thinks he might be falling free, when he whimpers and rocks against Even. His entire body seeming to move every time Even fucks into him. Their chests press tightly together, their mouth hovering over each others, not touching but close enough that their breaths hang in between them.

 

“Fuck,” Even hisses, the word exhaled in the space between their mouths.

 

With one hand clutching Even’s shoulder, and the other clutching his skirt, Isak  lips hang open, breathlessly, eyes staring sightlessly at the ceiling above, head lolling straight back, his  mouth going dry. 

 

It’s not long after Even reaches between them, his hand capturing Isak’s cock that he come. It’s like a wave, an explosion, burning from the soles of his feet to the top of his head.

 

Isak feels loose, free, even, as he comes down. His chest aches from his own breathing. There’s a  soft panting and barely audible groans coupled with the feel of hot breath in Isak’s ear that cuts off abruptly when Even comes. 

 

Isak only notices the stick mess of their bodies when he finally settles down, the temperature cooling between them. Even lets him down slowly, Isak’s legs almost giving out on his own. Even with Isak’s skirt finally coming back into his place, he still feels naked. Even hasn’t moved, still standing so close to Isak. Neither of them meet each other's eye as the realization finally hits them. 

 

Isak’s the first to move, pulling his boxers ip his legs, ignoring the mess between his thighs. Even doesn't stop him when he grabs his robe, running out the door, and eventually out of the party. He covers himself completely, tying the thin costume robe around his waist, not slowly down until he gets in front of Magnus and Mahdi’s dorm. He walks into a dark room with his friends gathered around the tv, asleep. Isak notices a pile of wrappers laying underneath them before the door wakes them up. Mahdi wakes up first, shrinking and jumping in fear when he sees Isak standing there, “What the fuck?! How long have you been there?” He asks, waking Magnus up too.

 

“Just got here.” Isak pants, caughint in between heavy breaths. His breathing unable to keep up with his thoughts. "Came straight here."

 

"What happened?" Mahdi asks, and they stare at him weirdly until Isak blurts it out, “I slept with Even.”

 

He gets a mixed response: a sleepy “finally” cheer from Magnus and another shocking “ What the fuck” yelled from Mahdi.

 

Isak sinks onto the floor in defeat, unsure what response he should deal with first, both seeming worse than the other.

 

The room is silent until Magnus laughs out a “You owe me 20$” to Mahdi that makes Isak and Mahdi both scowl.

 

“You bet on whether or not Even and I would hook up?”

 

“Technically.” Mahdi starts, “I didn’t, but Magnus did.”

 

“Fuck you guys.” Isak laughs, only slightly, before he says more seriously, “What am I going to do?”

 

The room falls silent, no one able to answer, not even Isak. 


	3. Hardfeelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, but I hope you all enjoy it! let me know that you think, you know where to find me!!
> 
> song inspo: loveless by lorde!!
> 
> also a special s/o to anto and giulia for supporting me through this chapter. I love you both!! <33

It doesn’t take long after Isak wakes up for him to realize he’s in the boys’s dorm, and not his own. It’s late on a Saturday morning, so Magnus and Mahdi are already searching for something to do. Isak can hear the last tbits of their conversation before they notice him blinking awake.

 

Mahdi speaks first,“Are you gonna go back to your room?”

 

Isak sighs loudly, falling back onto Magnus’s pillow, “No.”

 

When he doesn’t say anything else, Mahdi tries again, “Are you going to talk to Jonas?”

 

“I don’t know.” Isak answers.

 

“Are you going to talk to Even?” Mahdi asks instead.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak repeats, his voice raise in frustration. His eyes stay locked onto the ceiling as the guilt begins to follow him through from last night. “What am I supposed to say? Hey Jonas, I accidentally slept with your best friend.” Isak ask, rhetorically.

 

Silence falls between them, as if they’re all unsure of what to say until Magnus blurts out, “You can’t accidentally sleep with someone, though.” The laughter that crackles out of him eases the tension down, especially when Isak narrows his eyes at him.

 

“Well.” Isak cuts him off, annoyed by the entire situation, “It just happened!” Isak yells back in defeat. He’s spent half the night repeating the story to Magnus and Mahdi, and the other half stuffed next to them on their sofa, after they all fell asleep on it. Even if it’s the last thing he wants to talk about, he knows it’s something he can't avoid, especially when his friends are ready for answers.

 

“I have to agree with Mags on this one,” Mahdi adds in, “It wasn’t an accident.”

 

Isak groans, loudly. “Okay.” He sighs, “Maybe it wasn’t an accident.” He starts to consider, By the smiles stretching across their faces, Isak realizes he’s made a mistake by admitting it, “but it wasn’t on purpose.” He finishes.

 

Neither of the looks Magnus and Mahdi give him make him think they believe him, so Isak argues on, “How was I supposed to know Jonas wasn’t going to come and I’d sleep with him?”

 

“Wait.” Mahdi stops him. It’s then Isak realizes he hasn’t told them that,”Jonas stood you up?” Mahdi catches on.

 

“No,” Isak quickly shakes his head, embarrassed, before Mahdi’s look makes him tell the truth, “It wasn’t a date, so he couldn't have stood me up.”

 

Magnus and Mahdi both give him a look before Mahdi finally speaks, “It doesn’t have to be date for him to show up.”

 

Isak’s words sit heavy in his throat, unable to say anything else.

 

“Wait, wait, wait.” Magnus shakes his head, like he’s trying to remember something, “I thought you said, he invited you?”

 

“He did.” Isak tells them, “But something came up.”

 

“He told you that?” Magnus asks.

 

“No, but I know Jonas. He wouldn’t just not show up.”

 

“But he did.” Mahdi reminds him.

 

“That’s fucked up, even for Jonas.” Magnus mutters under his breath, “You don’t just plan a date, and then not show up.”

 

“It wasn’t a date.” Isak rolls his eyes.

 

“Okay, but.” Magnus speaks up when the silence sits too heavily between them. He turns to face Isak with a scowl, before he says,“If it wasn’t a date, why were you wearing a skirt?”

 

Mahdi laughs first, and then Magnus, filling the entire room with their laughter.

 

“It was a costume party.” Isak mumbles back, slightly embarrassed that he actually wore it, especially since Jonas never came.

 

“And you were a cheerleader?” Mahdi laughs.

 

“I was a ring girl.” Isak tells them. Although he realizes there’s not much difference between the two.

 

“Oh because he’s a boxer.” Mahdi finally catches on, rolling his eyes at his own words.

 

“Does underground even count?” Magnus asks, frowning as he says it.

 

“Yes.” Isak rolls his eyes, knowing his friends never miss the opportunity to knock Jonas any chance they get. “They’re not as bad as you think.” Isak defends him, “It’s actually better than what you expect an underground boxing ring to be.”

 

Magnus and Mahdi both look at him, ready to laugh when Isak stops him, “Like either of you know anything about boxing anyway.”

 

“I’ve seen fight club.” Magnus cuts in.

 

“It’s not anything like that.” Isak snaps back, even though, it kind of is. However, he’d rather lie and argue, than ever admit that to his friends.

 

“Are there codewords and backdoors in dark alleyways?” Mahdi asks, looking at at Isak smuggly because he already knows what the answer is.

 

“Yes, but” Isak admits quietly, trying to say something else, but Mahdi’s and Magnus’s chuckling makes him stop.

 

“You think he could take Even?” Magnus blurts out. It leaves a long pause in their conversation that no one dares to laugh at.

 

He may mean it to be a joke but the room gets so quiet Isak forgets that’s what it is. No, Isak thinks, but he doesn’t say it. He’s never seen Even box, but he’s good from what Jonas tells him.

 

“If not.” Mahdi coughs, easing the tension from the room, “Mags and I can.” He teases.

 

“He could beat both of you up.” Isak says.

 

“Mags and I could take him.” Mahdi says, tapping onto Magnus’s shoulder like they’re ready to size him up.

 

Isak looks both of them up before he smirks, “He could take both of you.” He snorts before adding, “at the same time. No problem.”

 

Isak spends most of the day curled up on the sofa, mostly watching whatever Magnus has on and ignoring Jonas’s texts. He’s picking a hole in the sweats Mahdi has loaned him, when he notices how late is it in the day.

 

“What’s good for tonight?” Mahdi groans when they’ve failed to hear of anything.

 

“I have a thing.” Isak says.

“Are you gonna go talk to Even?” Mahdi speaks up, springing up from his bed to look over at Isak in anticipation.

 

“No.” Isak shouts out, jumping back up. The very idea of having to see Even makes him want to disappear into the tile. “I don’t think I’ll ever talk to him again.”

 

“You just hooked up.” Mahdi rolls his eyes, used to Isak’s over dramatization of relatively inevitable events. “Once.” He reminds him. “At a halloween party.”

 

“Still. Isak tries to argue, “He’s Jonas’s friend and he has a girlfriend.”

 

The new information makes Mahdi and Magnus gasp a quick and surprised, “What? How do you know?”

 

“I walked in on them.” He answers, internally shrinking when he remembers the girl. Even has a girlfriend, and Isak has Jonas. That amount of information is enough to keep him away from Even right now. If only it had done the same last night.

 

“When?” Mahdi almost yells, “Who is she?”

 

Vilde, Isak remembers, but he catches it before he lets it out. So, instead he shrugs, “I don’t know.”

 

He looks away from Magnus, scared that if they ask him anything more, he’ll let it out.

 

“What does she look like?” Magnus continues to ask.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak shrugs, “Blonde.

 

Both of the boys look at him annoyingly.

 

“And.” Mahdi nearly shouts.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak repeats, “it was dark, and I only saw her once.”

 

“Then how do you know they’re dating?” Mahdi asks.

 

“They were together.”

 

“They could have just been hooking up.”

 

“It wouldn’t be the first time Even  hooked up with someone.” Magnus mutters under his breath.

 

Isak cheeks burn, even more now that he’s remembering Vilde.

 

“So, he has a girlfriend, and you still slept with him?” Mahdi reminds him, pulling all parts of his story together. With Mahdi saying it aloud, it really settles into him.

 

Isak’s head drops,“I’m going to move out.” he sighs, “I have to now, don’t I?”

 

“Pretty much.” Mahdi nods, laughing just a bit.

 

“Wait.” Magnus stops them, “Even if you’re not going to tell Jonas anything, do you think Even’s going to tell his girlfriend?”

 

The room immediately goes silent, Isak hadn’t thought of that until now.

 

“He’s not going to tell anyone.” Mahdi finally answers.

 

It’s comforting for Isak to hear, but doubt still sits inside him, only increasing when Magnus doesn’t look as convinced, “How do you know?”

 

“Because.” Mahdi starts, “if he tells, he loses his best friend and girlfriend. It’s not worth it, Isak’s just a one time thing.” He says, before he looks at Isak, “No offense.”

 

Isak nods quickly, agreeing with him, “It’s not happening again.”

 

“That’s what you said the first time.” Magnus mutters under his breath before he gets two very sharp looks from both of his friends. “I’m just saying.” He puts his hands up, defensively, “It could.”

 

“It won’t.” Isak says it like a promise.

 

“Yea.” Mahdi nods, “You said it only happened because Jonas wasn’t there, so just don’t be alone with him.”

 

Mahdi says it simply, like avoiding Even is as easy as it sounds. He’s completely forgetting they share a dorm.

 

“We live together.” Isak reminds him.

 

Mahdi’s smile instantly drops, “Shit.”

 

He hears Magnus laughing, while Isak head falls into his hands. Through his fingers, he mutters, “I’m dropping out.”

 

Their conversation ends as they turn their attention the tv. Between hiding in their dorm, and picking at a hole in the sweats Magnus let him borrow, the day’s finally ending.

 

“Let's go out!” Mahdi groans in frustration, tired of being in their dorm all day. He throws his phone across his bed, impatiently.

 

“Where?” Magnus asks him, “I don’t know anyone hosting.”

 

“Isak.” they both turn to look at him, hoping Isak does.

 

“I have practice.” Isak finally tells them.

 

“At this time?” Magnus laughs, neither of the boys believing him.

 

“It’s late night practice for the competitions.” Isak tries to explain.

 

“Shit you’re in?” Mahdi asks him.

 

Isak nods, unable to hold his smile back, “Yea, coach told me yesterday.”

 

“Congrats!” Mahdi and Magnus both tell him.

 

“Thanks.” Isak nods, smile tightening on his face. It’s a big deal, no matter how humble he wants to be He’s smiling when he finally manages to make it off the boys's futon for the first time.

 

“Are you guys staying in?” Isak asks, as he tying up his shoes.

 

“Where else would we be.” Mahdi rolls his eyes, still upset about their lack of plans.

 

Isak laughs, not feeling bad for them as he makes it towards their door.

 

“Wait.” Magnus stops right as he goes to open the door.

 

“Don’t forget your skirt.” He hears before he can turn back, the fabric’s coming over his eyes, slapping him in the face.

 

Isak’s glad it’s covering him, or Magnus would see the blood staining through his cheeks.  Isak quickly pulls it over him, throwing it back at Magnus. He rushes out the door, his middle finger coming out after him. He hears he boy’s laughter behind him when the door slams against the frame.

 

Isak hurries out of their dorm building. He knows his gym bag is ready and waiting for him back at his dorm, but Even could be too. Instead he rushes across’s campus to the rec center. His hood’s pulled over his head, careful not to run into anyone as he makes it across the quad.

 

When he’s outside of the gym, he can’t find his Id, and it makes him freeze from panic.At the moment, he's less worried about being late, than he is about having to go back to his dorm, just for his card. When he finds it in his jacket pocket, Isak swears he’s used up whatever luck the universe has left for him.

 

He rushes inside, racing back to the pool area so he isn’t late. When he stands in front of his locker, he feels his nerves begin to settle. He finds his back up suit and goggles inside, quickly changing into them. As he finds his way into the pool building, he finds most of the team already out there, waiting in the stands. Isak joins them, the cold steel pressed against his skin. He holds the towel around him. It’s the first time he’s been able to relax all weekend.

 

As he looks around, he recognizes a few of them from his own team, but others he’s only seen at the competitions. As he waits he stares aimlessly around him. First at the flags hanging above and the bricks ceiling around the arena. Then when the water finally bores him, his gaze drops into his lap, eyes instantly finding the bruise on his inner thigh. He hadn’t noticed it until now. He presses his thumb into it, wincing at the dull pain coming through. It’s the size of a thumb, but it’s not his own. It’s Even’s. Isak can feel his whole bod body flushing warm and red. He presses in deeper, enough that it’s just as hard as Even’s hands were when he was holding him up, against the wall, and pulling up his skirt. Before he can get lost in his thoughts, someone crashes into his shoulder. He’s glad for the interruption, but he doesn’t look up, expecting it to be Eskild.

 

“Hi.” they say, their voice voice surprising him.

 

Isak recognizes her, but not her name. She’s won the school in backstroke categories for the past two years, everyone knows who she is.

 

“You’re the new addition right?” She asks.

 

“Is it that obvious?” Iask laughs, noticing everyone else seems to already know each other.

 

“Kind of.” She laughs, giving her shoulder a small shrug, “I’m Eva.”

 

“Isak.” He introduces himself.

 

“What are you?” She asks, fixing the googles she has over her head.

 

“Free style.” Isak nods.

 

“Nice.” Eva says, “maybe you can finally get us that trophy since Eric hasn’t got us one yet.”

 

They both laugh, glancing over at the same boy they're talking about: Eric Johnson.

 

“Hopefully.”Isak’s laughter settles, as he looks out into the pool.

 

When he says nothing else, Eva laughs, “Don’t be so nervous.” She nugges his shoulder again, “Half of the kids here still haven’t won anything, and they’re all older than you.”

 

“Thanks.” Isak tells her.

 

“And.” She adds on, “No one's expecting you to win, it’s only your first semester. If you did, they’d only expect more from you, and if you never won again, then you’d end up like Aaron.”

 

They both turn to look at him. Aaron was a star member his freshman year when he took the team to nationals, but that’s farthest he’s gotten in the past three years. They both laugh, knowing the story well enough to get what she saying.

 

She gives him one last smile before the coach walks in, clipboard under his arm ready to begin. He blows his whistle once, getting everyone to crowd around him for his announcements.

 

He introduces Isak getting him a circle full of awkward glances. He’s one of the youngest ones here. There’s six other sophomores who were given spots their freshman year. They came from impressive private high schools, with full trophy shelves at home. They had individual instructors that could have made it to Olympics. All Isak had was a communal pool at the community center, and early hours at his school gym.

 

“Don’t worry.” Eva whispers as they line up against the poolside.

 

Isak feels even luckier when the coach groups them together during their warm ups.  Isak’s never felt out of place here before, but being here so late makes him feel a little strange. He notices no one else seems to feel that way, rushing into the water like it’s nothing.

 

Isak follows, forgetting that feeling as soon as he steps into the warm waves.They begin with laps, each one of them moving into a row in the pool. The dividers are in the water, keeping them from crossing each other’s lane as they swim.

 

Coach has their drills increase as time passes. Once they’re finished warming up, Coach explains that they’ll be working on speed for the first part of the schedule. When he finally announces they’ll be doing spring swimming, there’s a collective goran from the team.

 

Isak doesn’t mind it so much, his speed is better than most, but the shorter laps make him tired. He’s a distance swimmer above all.

 

“I hate these.” Eva complains, when their set is over. They’re holding onto the wall, their shoulder muscles already sore.

 

“Isn’t this kind of your thing?” Isak laughs, trying to keep his chin above water.

 

She scoffs at Isak, splashing him lightly in the face He does it back, quickly, hearing their coach call something else out. They regroup, this time with the people in their same category. It’s then Isak finally gets to meet them. There’s three other members, all older. Two are in Isak’s practice, so he considers himself lucky to have them with him now.

 

Water washes over Isak when he goes under. He’s learned to train his breath, holding until he absolutely needs air. He has to push himself to go further with less air, especially now that they’re training for speed.

 

Isak’s sore, and breathless when coach finally ends practice. He doesn’t know how many yards he swam today, but he sure it’s the most he’s done in one practice.

 

Isak doesn’t notice the chlorine smell until they all make it back to locker room and it clashes with the scent of lemon cleaner.

 

He meets Eva at the front of the gym, the coach is passing out single sheet schedules with the listed time and dates. Eva hands him one. This is the first time he’s seen her without her swim cap. Her hair falls over her shoulder, wet and curly.

 

As they walk out of the empty gym, Eva walks with him. “Where are you?” She asks as they make down the brick path leading out.

 

“Bryson building.”He answers.

 

“Me too!” She tells him, “I’m in 2 south.”

 

“5 north.”

 

After he says it, she looks like she’s remembering about his floor, but she doesn't add anything. Isak almost wants to ask her about that look, but he doesn’t. Instead they continue talking through the campus. As they make it inside Bryson, Eva fills him in on all the ins and out of the competition and process.

 

They say good night in the lobby, taking different staircases up the sides. They’d taken the long way back to their dom, so Isak can feel the frozen tips of his hair, frozen from the cold night wind. He takes even longer waking up each flight of steps. His muscles are already sore but the four flight of steps don’t help.

 

It’s late enough into the night that Even either out or asleep. There’s no light coming through the door, Isak notices as he stands in front of it. With his breath held, he opens the door, slowly, trying to be as silent as he can. If even is there, he doesn’t want him to wake up. It takes him stepping inside to see Even’s bed is empty. He feels like he can breathe again when he sees nothing but rustled sheets and crumpled pillows laying in it.

 

***

 

Isak wakes, slowly, to an empty room. There’s nothing, but silence and sunlight keeping him company. As he looks around, he notices it doesn’t seem like Even has been in room since. Isak notices the pile of clothes near his dresser that have been there since that night. Isak knows that Even should have already kicked them out of the way.

 

It isn’t until then that Isak realizes that Even may be avoiding Isak just as much as Isak’s been avoiding him.

 

He’s working on something at his desk when he hears the door click and turn from the outside. Isak’s heart seems to stop, watching the door knob turns slowly. He stares at it creek open, the light from the hallway coming through. His eyes drop back onto his notebook before he can meet Even’s. The only sound comes from the door shutting behind Even, like a thrash of broken glass, shattering into the silence.

 

Even comes through, and Isak can’t think it can get any worse until he hears Jonas’s laugh follow him in.

 

“Hey.” Jonas looks at him, walking forward to Isak’s side.

 

“Hi.” Isak says quietly, waiting for the worst to happen.

 

“So. What have you been doing?” Jonas asks, and Isak looks trying to understand what he means.

 

“I texted you.” Jonas goes on, “I even went by your friend's dorm..” Jonas says, a sound coming from his mouth like he’s about guess their names because he just can’t remember

 

“Mahdi and Magnus.” Isak fills in for him. He’d be annoyed that Jonas can’t remember even though he’s met them several times, but he still feels too guilty for that.

 

“Yea.” Jonas nods at it, “but they told me you weren’t there, and no one was here.”

 

Isak looks around Jonas, stealing a look at Even to see what Even’s thinking, but he has his back turned, so Isak can’t tell.

 

“I had practice.” Isak tells him.

 

“Okay.” Jonas nods, dropping onto Isak’s bed.

 

The room becomes silent as Isak starts to look everywhere, but at either of the boys.

‘

“Sorry about the party.” Jonas finally speaks, moving a little closer.  

 

“It’s fine.” Isak quickly apologizes, jumps back, keeping distance between them.

 

Jonas looks at him weirdly, and Isak wonders if he’s really that easy to read.

 

“You're not mad?” Jonas questions.

 

“No.” Isak shrugs.

 

“Are you sure?” He feels Jonas’s eyes on him even more than before, “You’re acting like you are.”

 

Isak’s voice is blunt and short when he answers, “I’m not.”

 

“Okay.” He hears Jonas sigh, moving away from Isak’s desk. He walks toward his bed, and Isak takes the opportunity to look over at Even. He’s not look at either of them, but he’s turned around just enough that Isak can see he’s still listening

 

“How was the party?” Jonas asks, and Isak’s still looking at Even, so he can see Jonas shift uncomfortably.

 

Isak feels the same way, nodding because he can’t speak.

 

“Even went.” Jonas says, “Did you see him?”

 

It’s then Isak breath catches in throat. His heart pulls its way up his throat like it’s ready to jump out and confess. He thinks he can feel Even’s eyes on him too as the room grows silent, like they’re all waiting for Isak’s answer.

 

Isak’s mouth opens, but the words don’t come out. Instead, Even’s voice ends the silence, “No.” He answers for him, “I wasn’t there for long.”

 

“Neither was I.” Isak follows it, the words tumbling out of his mouth. “I didn’t see him or anyone really.” He continues on, nervously and quickly until he has to practically force his mouth shut.

 

“Okay.” Jonas looks at him strangely, before he laughs, “Was it any good?”

 

He can hear Even smirking from behind them, making Isak even more nervous. He tries to remember Even’s hands holding up tight against the wall, the grip of his fingers on his thighs and on his hips. And Isak’s own grip on him.

 

“No.” He grits out, forcing the memories out of his mind.

 

“Okay.” Jonas gives him a strange look before, “We’re good then?”

 

Isak nods frantically, hoping Jonas lets it be.

 

“Cool.” Jonas smiles, his attention turning back onto his phone. The room is silent, even Even’s ignoring any kind of conversation. Jonas doesn’t seem to notice, despite Isak feeling like the tension’s thick enough to choke on.

 

“Are you still on tonight?” Jonas asks Even while Isak’s pretending like he isn’t listening.

 

“Yea, Hector has me going first.” Even answers.

 

“Wow.” Jonas teases, “ they’re always putting on a show.”

 

“They have me against Ryle.”

 

“Really?” Jonas laughs, “that’ll be fun.”

 

Even rolls his eyes, “Like you could take him.”

 

“Whatever.” Jonas looks a little embarrassed, moving up to his feet like he’s about to leave, Except he doesn’t, just moves closer to Isak.

 

“Do you have practice tonight?” Jonas asks, but Isak knows what he’s really asking.

 

“No.” He answers, “Do you wanna come over tonight after the match then?”

 

“You’re not fighting tonight, are you?” Isak asks.

 

“No.” Jonas shakes his head, “I’ll be all good for tonight.”

 

“Jonas.” Isak rolls his eyes, fighting the blush.

 

Jonas laughs, “I love basketball season.”

 

“Too be bad you don't how to play?” Isak snorts.

 

Jonas looks at him, grinning as he lowers his voice, “I know how to play. You should know.”

 

Isak’s not sure if all of this is Jonas trying to make Friday up, or if all the flirting and touching is just because Jonas has an audience.

 

“Don’t you have your own room?” Isak says.

 

“Right.” Jonas laughs, standing up. Isak doesn’t expect him to leave, but he does, “I'll be back for tonight.” He walks to the door before he turns back around, “Are you coming?”

 

This time, it’s not just Jonas for an answer.

 

“Well.” he stutters. He can see the look on Even’s face this time. He clearly wants Isak to say no. However, Jonas doesn’t give him a chance to, “I’ll see you both, later.”

 

Jonas shuts the door, and it sounds even louder when it’s just the two of them, alone. Isak doesn’t move, as he watches Even collect his shower caddy, rushing back out of the room. When Isak is alone, he can’t decide if he should leave or not. Jonas would definitely notice if he avoided him again.

 

Isak doesn’t even realize how much time he’s spent recalculating and rethinking his plan, until the door’s opening up again. Even steps in with nothing, but a towel wrapped around his waist.

 

He’s not sure what he would do or say. He’s relying on the silence to stretch enough between them that the distance will grown and Isak won’t have to see him. .

 

Finally Even turns around, Isak’s eyes scrambling up Even so he can meet his eyes. He hates the small smirk his mouth twists into when he watches Isak look at him.

 

“I’m not going to tell Jonas.” Even breaks the silence.

 

Isak’s words feel thick in throat, keeping him from saying anything.

 

“And just because we hooked up, doesn’t mean I like you.” Even goes on, “Your alarm too loud, and you make so much noise.”

 

“I don’t like you, either.” Isak gets out, “”your clothes are everywhere, and you always let the door slam.

 

Even finally turns around, still only left in his towel. Isak tries not to look anywhere the in the trail the water’s leaving down Even’s chest.

 

“I still don’t like living with you.”

 

“Neither do I.” Isak makes sure to say.

 

“Good. the feeling’s mutual.” Even says sarcastically.

 

They’re left in a silent staring contest, eyes glaring at the other like the tension’s about to break. Isak refuses to look away, until Even drops his towel. Before it can hit the ground, Isak’s turning around, faster than he knew was possible. He doesn’t have to see Even to know he probably has some satisfied smile running across his lips.

 

He hears clothes rustle before the dip in his mattress. Isak pretends to do something, trying to keep his back turned, so he doesn't have to look at Even. It works until Jonas comes back, pushing them into the same car. Even’s driving, with Jonas next to him. Isak’s in back trying not to catch Even’s eye everytime he looks back in the rearview mirror.

 

THey drive to the same crumbling brick building. As they step down to the basement, Isak can hear the noise. He remembers what happened the last they were here.

When Even leaves them to dress in the locker room, Jonas moves them through the crowd. Jonas settles behind him, near the stage. There’s silence between them as they wait for the first set of men to come out.  It’s too loud in the crowd that Jonas has to lean close in his ear for Isak to hear him,”You’re not still mad, are you?”

 

“No.” Isak shrugs.

 

“I’m kind of disappointed I didn’t go the party.” Jonas tells him.

 

“Why?” Isak asks.

 

“Because I didn’t get to see you in your skirt.” Jonas smokes, his hands falling around Isak’s waist.

 

The smile Isak’s trying to keep off his face comes through when Jonas looks at him.

 

“You could always wear it again.” Jonas reminds him, using the hands he already has around Isak to get him to face him.

 

“Or you could have just showed up.”Isak pushes against him.

 

Jonas laughs, awkwardly until he agrees, “I really wanted to.”

 

“Why didn’t you?” Isak can’t keep himself from asking. He can hear the desperation in his voice when he asks, “I mean, you said you would be.”

 

“See you’re still mad.” Jonas looks annoyed now, and Isak can feel the distance grow between them.

 

“No.” Isak shakes his head, suddenly feeling guilty, “I’m not. It’s just I went and you weren’t there. You could have texted me.”

 

“I was busying.” Jonas reminds him, but he won’t say anything else.

 

Isak nods, not bothingering to say anything else. With the conversation going nowhere, Isak gives up.

Jonas must notice his frown, because he puts one hand on his back, pulling him closer, “Next time, I’ll call.” He promises.

 

“Or you could just show up.”

 

“Okay, Isak.” Jonas laughs lightly, using the hands he has around Isak to turn him around so they’re both facing the stage.

 

Isak notices the crowd beginning to quiet as the stage lights come on.

 

“Even’s got a match tonight.” Jonas tells him.

 

“You don’t?” Isak asks.

 

“No.” He shakes his head. “Only Even tonight.”

 

Just the boys walk out, making their way into the ring. Even gets in first, and Isak’s close enough that he can see the finger shaped bruises on Even’s shoulders. He hadn't noticed them before, but under the bright fluorescent lights, they’re unmissable. He can only hope Jonas does. He knows that if he put his hand up against him, they’d match up.

 

As Even moves around the ring, Isak watches him. He doesn’t recognize the guy in the ring with Even, but he doesn’t think it matters. There’s sound of an metallic bell that starts the fight. Isak can feel the crowd surge forward, moving him with it. He tries to keep clam, Jonas’s hands keeping him in place.

 

Even’s opponent makes the first move, stepping forward, his fists snapping in front of hin. Even dodges both, his arm going around, punching the man on his side.The crowd, including Jonas, cheers him on. He can’t tell if they’re cheering for Even, or just cheering on whoever's taking the lead.

 

“I can’t believe this guy’s fighting Even.” Jonas mutters, just as he takes another hit.

 

Isak looks quickly behind him, just enough to let Jonas know he doesn’t understand.

 

“Everyone knows what he’s capable of.” Jonas explains.

 

It’s then, he sees exactly what Jonas is talking about. With one simple move, Even’s arm punches forward, hard enough that it makes his opponent stumble backwards. Even punches again, hitting him right in his cheek. This time he falls over, his back making a loud noise when he slams against the mat.

 

The noise scares Isak, making him flinsch backwards into Jonas. He can hear Jonas chuckle, catching him when he stumbles back into his chest.

 

“He’s good isn’t he?” Jonas asks, whispering in Isak’s ear.

 

With his eyes still locked on Even, Isak shakes his head. The crowd’s cheering as the man struggles to get up, holding on the ropes for support.

 

With Even standing over him, he struggles to get up. Even does it for him, grabbing him by his shoulders so he’s no longer bent over the rope. He uses the position to his advantage, punching the man until there’s no way for him to get back up onto his feet. Blood begins to flow from his nose, sweat dripping with it.

 

Isak wants to look away, but he can’t. Even’s eyes make it into the crowd, even with the cheering, he finds Isak.

 

Isak doesn’t really look at Even. He looks at his fist, pulled back, tips streaked with blood. Even’s going to finish this guy. He may know it, but it doesn’t make it any easier to watch.

 

Isak isn’t sure what happens, but Even’s suddenly no longer about to punch him in the face. Insead, he lets him drop, falling back onto the matt in defeat. Isak can hear Jonas sigh from behind, he must be just as surprised.

 

The crowd moans in disappointment.

 

Even wins, the bloody glove raising into the air in victory. Isak finally looks away.

 

“C’mon.” Jonas leads him, pushing through the crowd so they can find Even.

 

It gets quieter as the leave the main room, finding Even in the locker room.

 

“What was that?” Jonas asks him as soon as he sees him.

 

Even’s unravaling the white banages from around his knuckles and palm. He looks at Jonas like he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”What?” He doesn’t look up.

 

Jonas moves to sit next to him, “Why’d you do that?” Isak’s standing awkwardly between them

 

Even’s still looking at his hands when Jonas jumps back onto his feet, “Fuck, did he do this.” He winces, grabbing onto Even’s shoulder right where his finger bruises have shown up.

 

Iask nearly freezes when Jonas looks at them. But Even brushes him off, quickly pulling his shirt over his head.

 

“Must of.” Even shrugs, “I didn’t even notice.”

 

“Really fucked him good, didn’t you.” Jonas laughs.

 

Isak sees the tiniest smirk curl up Even’s lips when he nods, “Yea.”

 

He wishes he could do something other than stand there having to listen to the Even’s double entendre especially when he can’t do anything.

 

“So what happened” Jonas asks again. “Why didn’t you end him? He was right there. He couldn’t even get.”

 

Even shrugs again, “Didn’t feel like it.”

 

Jonas rolls his eyes, clearly not believing him. “Hector’s not going to like that.”

 

“Whatever.” Even zips his bag up.

 

They follow behind him, ready to leave. They meet Even at the car, his pockets stuffed, but nothing says anything about it. As they’re driving back to the dorm, Isak follows the landscapes out his window.

 

“Are we doing something after this?” Even asks, looking at the dashboard clock. It’s only midnight.

 

“I don’t know.” Jonas says, “Isak and I were gonna go back to mine.” He says, reminding them all. “Right, Isak?” Jonas asks, looking back at him for an answer.

 

Isak stammers looking back at Jonas, “Yea.”

It’s silent for the rest of the ride back, and when Even drops them both off, he feels something between shift.

 

“See ya.” Jonas waves to him.

 

Even nods, keeping his eyes in front of him.

 

“Congrats on winning.” Jonas tells him, as he closes his door, putting his arm around Isak.

 

Isak stays silent, following Jonas until they get to the main doors. Jonas keys him into his building. Smiling as they race up the steps. The hallways mostly empty aside the few kids studying in empty bubbles and lounge chairs. Jonas’s roommate must be gone since he’s bringing Isak back to his.

 

Jonas keeps the lights low, only switching on the dim desk lamp. He collapses onto his bed as soon as he reaches it. Isak moves around his room, sitting on the edge of Jonas’s desk. He looks over the mess thrown around on Jonas’s desk. He picks up a graded paper, a 94’s scribbled at the top of it. He can feel Jonas’s eyes on it as he pretends to read it.

 

“Are you going to stay all the way over there all night?” Jonas asks.

 

He looks up, meeting his eyes quickly before he looks at Jonas’s paper. “Maybe.” He answers simply. He sits the paper back down, but doesn’t make any move to bring them closer.

 

Jonas props himself up onto his elbows so he can look over  at him. Their staring contest lasts a little longer, until Jonas sighs impatiently. “Isak.”

 

Still Isak doesn’t move.

 

“Come here.” Jonas reaches out, getting a grip around  his wrist, but doesn’t do anything,

 

“Maybe I won’t come at all.” Isak snorts back, his chin tilting up.

 

Jonas rolls his eyes., clearly getting his joke. Instead, he pulls Isak forward just enough so his knees to meet the bed. “Is that what you really want Isak? To not come?”

 

Kissing Jonas feels different, and Isak would rather blame it on anything but the obvious. Guilt. Isak realizes that’s what making it different.

He wonders if Jonas can taste t, like it’s stuck to his tongue, and teeth. He can’t stop thinking about it, not even when Jonas brings his hand to the back of Isak’s neck. He grips tighter, trying to bring Iska closer. Isak pulls away first, without any warning. It happens so quickly that he feels he Jonas flinch from his own movement. Jonas looks confused, looking over him, like he’s trying to figure out if there’s something wrong.

 

“Is this about friday?’He starts to ask

 

Yes,  but it’s not what you think, Isak thinks. “No.” is what he actually says, “It’s late.”

  
“Oh.” Jonas says, disappointment in his voice, “we don’t have to to if you don’t  want to.”

 

“No.’” Isak shakes his head. Jonas looks up at him for an explanation. Isak can hear his heart violently beats in his chest, and he feel like he’s about to let it out any second.

 

“What is it?” Jonas asks.

 

“Nothing.” Isak quickly says. When the words feel like they’re about fall out of his mouth, he kisses Jonas again with enough force that it pushes him back in the mattress.

 

Isak keeps going, pushing up Jonas’s shirt until it’s off. He does the same things with Jonas’s shorts.

 

He hears Jonas moan when his mouth comes over him. His lips stretch easily around. Isak keeps going, slowly moving towards the base. Jonas’s hands grip through his hair when he takes him deeper. Isak chases after the quick pants Jonas cuts with curses. He moves his head faster, head bobbing faster. He sinks back down and sucks hard, long and slow.

 

He feels Jonas’s hand release from his hair, moving down his face, until his fingers are nudging Isak’s face up by his chin. Isak looks up, meeting Jonas’s eyes. Jonas is starring back down at him, like he’s trying to memorize what he’s seeing. Isak would blush if Jonas wasn’t pulling his cock from his lips. Saliva leaves a wet trail round his mouth. He doesn’t understand why Jonas is stopping him until he’s pushing him on his back, working Isak’s shirt over his head.

 

Jonas moves over his chest, resting his dick right over Isak’s mouth. He’s looking at Isak like he’s making sure it’s okay. When Isak’s mouth opens, he realizes it is. Isak relaxes his throat, letting Jonas push to the back of it. He tries not to gag, even as Jonas’s cock fills down throat. With Jonas on top of him, he’s able to go further than before, and even though it’s not easy, Isak would be unpleasant if he wasn’t so fucking turned on by it.

 

Jonas moves slow at first, pressing in just deep enough that his throat starts to constrict, and quickly pulling back out. Still the noises he’s making are absolutely disgusting, wet and graphic, with Jonas’s hands tightening in his hair. When he finally pulls back, letting Isak pull in air, Isak feels his chin wet with saliva.

 

“Do it.” he tells Jonas, moving underneath Jonas so he’s more comfortably pushed into the bed. “Fuck my mouth.” He gives him permission, his head moving towards Jonas’s cock again.

 

“Really?” Jonas asks, he looks surprise.

 

When Isak nods, Jonas grins, “You’re really fucking hot, Isak.”

 

Jonas thrusts his head forward, not giving Isak’s gag reflex time to adjust before he starts fucking himself down onto his mouth. His hands move, bunching in Isak’s hair for total control of Isak’s head movement. Then he moves forward until his cock’s so far down Isak’s throat that his nose is against his stomach. Isak chokes, throat tightening, but Jonas holds him there. Long seconds pass, and Isak’s becoming light-headed as his air begins to run out. Jonas moans, loudly. Isak can hear it dully from above. When Jonas finally lets him go, he feels almost dazed, and gasps in a huge breath before he’s down again.

 

He can hear the wet, fleshy sound of Jonas’s cock hitting his throat, the steady grunts from both of them as Jonas’s thrusts get faster. Jonas fucks into him with no steady rhythm. Isak’s mouth filling with saliva, dripping down his lips.  

 

“On your face or in your mouth?” Jonas asks, quickly,like he’s giving him a warning. Isak doesn’t understand what he’s saying at first, until Jonas is stilling his hips, waiting for an answer.

“Face.” Isak mutters, mouth still full. He knows Jonas likes it better that way, and he really wants Jonas to be pleased with him. “Come on my face, Jonas. Please.”

He watches Jonas close his eyes, moving out of Isak and over him. Isak’s eyes shut too, when he feels the first splash across his cheek. Jonas is groaning as he continues, his cum landing over Isak’s cheek, the tiniest bit of it resting on the corner of his mouth.

He waits, listening to Jonas’s panting settle. His own cock is a heavy ache between his thighs but he ignores it, waiting for Jonas. Jonas looks down, his hand moving up to his cheek, pressing his fingers in Isak’s mouth. The taste of of it meeting his tongue, and Isak thinks that at least it’s better than guilt.

“You want me to do something about this?” Jonas asks, eyes looking down over Isak’s dick.

"Can we fuck," Isak gets out, his voice hoarse, and cracked, "I really want you to fuck me, can we just" and Jonas stops him, fumbling over to his bedside. He uncaps lube, nearly spilling it over and on the bed when he's trying to get his fingers slicked up.

Isak can tell Jonas is sill a little soft from orgasm, his limbs moving just a little slower that usual. He moves between Isak’s legs, moving his knee up into his chest. He pushes in, just a little rough, digging his other fingers into Isak’s hips, so he’ll stay where he wants him

“Jonas" Isak moans, his voice still wrecked. His muscles are jumping under his skin, like it’s all too much. Jonas palms come over his hips just as Isak moans again with his head thrown back.

Isak opens in time to see Jonas’s face move between his thighs, lips meeting his skin just as he pulls his fingers out and comes back with two.

“What’s this?” He hears Jonas asks, but he’s so into it all, he can’t answer. So Jonas asks a little louder, and that’s when Isak realizes he’s talking about his bruise.

“I hit one of the diving boards in practice.” Isak pants out, he’s not sure if it’s from his arousal or his guilt.

Jonas gives him a strange look, but seems to believe him.

Isak’s knows his mouth is basically just hanging open, moans just falling out everytime Jonas pushes down harder. When Jonas presses in a third finger, Isak can’t wait any longer.

“Jonas. C’mon.” Isak pushes against him involuntarily, needy jerks of his hips, trying to get things going.

“Turn over, then.” Jonas pulls away, waiting for Isak to move.

Isak scrambles to get his limbs to move even if it is in quick messy movement. He collapses onto his hands and knees, arching back, too far gone to be anything, but needy. Jonas takes his time, lining up behind Isak, running his hand down his side until his fingers scraping back down the line of his spine. Isak arches further, squirming as Jonas spreads him open, waiting.

And then Jonas pushes him down. His hand stucks right between Isak’s shoulders, keeping him like that. Isak moans, face pressed to the mattress, like he can’t get enough. He hears Jonas pour more lube into his hand until he finally moves behind him, pushing in slowly.

Jonas must feel Isak tenses up, waiting, letting Isak breathe before his rakes his nails down his spine. Between that and all the grabbing, and pushing, it’s like Jonas is trying to mark him up.

He makes a noise that he’s too busy to figure out what it is. Jonas settles into a rhythm, punctuating each thrust with a bruising grip. He hears Jonas curse, bringing his lips down to his neck, slick and hot.

Jonas speeds up, moving his hands to Isak’s hips for balance and pressure. He’s pressing deeper inside him, when Jonas pushes him forward. He leans down, changing the angle and Isak arches up. His eyes wet, and unfocused, as he reaches around for Jonas to hold onto.

He speeds up again, sharp slapping noises of skin fill the room, and then Isak’s coming. He’s rolling through it, not able to to think it or anything through. There’s a dull pressure between his legs from where Jonas is pushing in for his own release, for the second time. He comes quickly, drifting for moment until he pulls out carefully, tossing the condom off of him.

He rolls over, helping Isak get on his back. Their painted breaths match, struggling to come down.

 

“Maybe I should stand you up more often.” Jonas chuckles, his voice still breathy.

 

Isak can’t tell if it’s sex flush or if he’s actually blushing. Either way it makes him knock his elbow into JOnas’s ribs, letting Jonas know his answer.

 

“I’m just joking.” He laughs.

 

Isak hears Jonas’s breathing settle into the silence before he says anything. “What was that all about?”

 

“What do you mean?” Isak asks.

 

“I’m not complaining.” Jonas gives him a look,”it’s just...wow.” He exhales like he’s still out of breathe.

 

Isak rolls his eyes. He moves to the foot of the bed. Digging around for something to put on.

 

“Where are you going?” Jonas says.

 

“I’m not sleeping with this on my face.” He says.

 

“WHy not?” Jonas laughs, loudly. He reaches forwards, bringing Isak back to his lips. “It suits you.”

 

Isak lets him kiss her once before he pushes his away.

 

“Wiat.” Jonas stops him. He sees Jona throw him his dorm keys.

 

After Isak catches them he rushes to their communal bathroom, hoping he doesn’t run into anyone. When his face is finally clean, he hurries back into Jonas’s dorm. He finds him asleep, the sheets still sticky from sweat. Even though he knows Jonas will take over more than half the mattress and push  him to the very edge, he spends the night. He’d rather that than return to his dorm like this.

 

***

 

Isak wakes before Jonas does,. It’s a half hour before his class start, so it gives him enough time to get back to his own dorm. Even’s still asleep, when he walks in. He’s moving silently around his dorm, collecting all the work from his desk. He’s manages to push it all into his backpack without waking Even up, until his phone rings, loudly. But Isak’s even louder, dropping his bag to pull it out of his pocket. He answers quickly, but not quick enough. He sees Even turn over, so he knows he’s awake.

 

“What Jonas?” He grits out.

 

‘Where are you?” Jonas says, his voice still deep from sleep.

 

“I have class.” He whispers and he hears Even sigh.

 

“Isak.” He hears from behind him. He turns around to see Even staring at him. He watches Even’s eyes take him in. There’s no hiding that Isak’s just taken the walk of shame back up to his dorm. “Are you serious?”

 

Isak feels like Even’s meaning something more, but he doesn’t know what to say. So he apologizes instead, rushing immediately out afterwards.

 

He hears Jonas laughing in his phone, “Was that Even? He sounded mad?”

 

A part of Isak feels like Jonas is happy about that. He tries not to think about that as he hurries down their hallway with his phone pressed to his ear, yelling, “It’s your fault.”

 

“He really doesn’t like you.” Jonas laughs.

 

“I know.” Isak rolls his eyes.

 

He waits for Jonas to answer, hearing him yawn right in his ear, “Maybe he just needs to get laid.”

 

Isak almost drops his phone, his breath catching in his throat. “I have to go to class.”

 

“Are you coming back to mine?” Jonas asks.

 

“You have class.” Isak reminds him, “And I have practice.”

 

He hears Jonas scoff before he hangs up the phone with a “Bye Jonas.”

 

***

 

Isak has three classes on Monday, so he doesn’t get back to hs dorm until the late afternoon. He has headphones in, so he almost doesn’t hear it, the crying. He hears the loud sniffing coming though his door before he puts his key in. He tries to listen closer, but all he can hear is more whimpering and sniffling. Fear, but mostly anger, pushes through him. He knocks on his door, knuckles sharply hitting the woord. He can hear Even mumble something, and then walk walk towards the door. When he sees Isak, he waits for Isak to speak first.

 

“Did you tell her?” He whispers sharply.

 

“What?” Even snaps. Isak can’t tell if he’s still angry from earlier or if it’s something else.

 

Isak looks behind him, “Did you tell her?” He repeats.

 

Even doesn’t answer him immediately. Instead he gives him a look, he can’t quite read.

 

“Not everything's about you.” Even finally tells him. “Don’t you have somewhere to be, with Jonas.”

 

Isak would roll his eyes. Even’s really been using Jonas against him lately. He begins to shut the door when Isak stops him, “You said-” he begins before Even interrupts, “Isak.” He silences him, “Just go.”

 

The door closes, and Isak stares at the wood. This is the second time he’s locked Isak out. He knows Vilde is in there, and he can’t do anything. Thoughts spiral through, only growing worse as he burst through his friend's dorm,“Even told his girlfriend.”

 

“How do you know?” Mahdi jumps up.

 

Magnus isn’t in the room, so he can really talk to Mahdi. “She’s in the room crying.”

 

“Maybe it’s something else?” He tries to suggest, but neither of them believe it.

 

“He said he wasn't.” Isak tells him, still panicking as he paces around their dorm.

 

“Even said that.” Mahdi asks.

 

“Yea. He said he wasn’t going to tell Jonas.”

 

“Well.” Mahdi starts, “technically he didn’t tell Jonas, he just told his girlfriend.”

 

Isak looks at him like he wants to Mahdi think about what he’s just said. “I have to go.” Isak suddenly says. He rushes toward the door.

 

“Where are you going?”  Mahdi asks.

 

“I have to go talk to Jonas.” He says, quickly making his way for the door.

 

Luckily, Mahdi steps in front him, “Calm down.”

 

Isak looks at him, painfully, “I have to tell him before Even does.”

 

Mahdi doesn’t move, but he does reach behind himself to lock the door. “Isak, just wait.”

 

Now that he’s breathing no longer painful, Isak speaks again, “He’s gonna find out.”

 

“He hasn't so far.” Mahdi remains him, “and if he does, it’s because you got paranoid and told him.”

 

Isak stays quiet, taking a seat in Mahdi’s chair. He waits an entire hour, painfully sitting in silence, while every terrible scenario plays in his head. Finally, Mahdi lets him leave, only with the exception that’s he’d talk to Even not Jonas.

 

When Isak gets back to his dorm, Vilde isn’t there, but Even is. He steps forward, not bothering to put his bag down before he speaks, “What are you doing?” Isak yells.

 

Even doesn’t bother looking up, “Homework.”

 

It pisses Isak even more, until he’s anger’s balling into fists, and forces him to pull the book out of Even’s hands. Finally, Even looks at him, calmly.

 

“You told your girlfriend, didn’t you?” Isak spits out.

 

“What does it matter to you, you’re only worried about Jonas finding out.” Even snaps back.

 

Isak’s left speechless, “You should be to.”

 

Even looks at him, and then laughs. “But I’m not.”

 

With that, he pushes pas Isak, leaving the room. Isak isn’t sure what he means, but he thinks it can’t be good.

 

He spends the next few day, no speaking to Even, but questioning what he had meant. Jonas’s hasn’t said anything, so Isak doesn’t think he’s told him, yet. Still the possibility of it makes things between them even worse.

 

***

 

Isak’s busy on an assignment when there’s a loud knocking on his door. He expects it to be Eve, locked out when he hears Magnus whining.  

 

“What’s wrong with him?” Isak aks immediately when he opens the door to find Magnus wallowing where he stands. Magnus just groans louder pushing past Isak to fall into the closest bed.

 

“He found out Vilde has a boyfriend.” Mahdi explains, chuckling as he watches Magnus melodramatically whine when he hears Mahdi say her name.

 

“What?” the word flies out of him.

 

Magnus is still moaning into Isak’s pillow when Mahdi drops down into Isak’s chair, “Well, Mags told me, she’s having relationship issues.”

 

“How do you know it’s a serious one?” Isak asks.

 

“She told mags she’s been dating the same guy since high school.”

 

“Who is he?”Isak asks, although he already knows the answer.

 

“I don’t know.” Mahdi shrugs, “that’s all Mags told me before he became that.” Mahdi laughs his hand gesturing toward their friend, sill lying helplessly on Isak’s bed.

 

They watch Magnus slowly roll onto his back, staring up at Isak’s ceiling aimlessly. “I can’t believe she has a boyfriend.” Magnus mutters, “I knew she was too good to be true.”

 

“I just can’t believe she’s real.” Mahdi laughs, until Isak narrows his eyes at him. When he stops, he tries to clear his throat, “Okay, but maybe it won’t last.”

 

“They’ve been together since high school.” Magnus reminds him.

 

“Yes, but how many people do you know that are still dating the same person from high school.”

 

It looks like Magnus is thinking, but Mahdi takes his silence as an answer. “See.” Mahdi says, “You just gotta wait until they break up, which will probably be soon if they’re having problems.”

 

“But how long is that going to be?” Magnus groans,“And what if they don’t?”

 

Isak and Mahdi both laugh, “I don’t know.”

 

“Just don’t think about her.” Isak suggests.

 

Both turn to glare at him, “How?” Magnus asks.

 

“I’ll figure out something for us to do this friday, to help.”He tells him.

 

“Ookay.” Magnus agrees, a little happier, but still not over it.

 

Isak smiles, but it’s nothing, but guilt forcing him to do it.

 

***

 

“Isak!” Eva calls after him as he begins to walk home after practice.

 

It’s the second one of the season. Even though he knows they all are technically two hours, this one seems to be longer. Perhaps it’s because he couldn’t think about anything else than all the mess he’s created.

 

He stops, so she can catch up, smiling when she finally does. “I really hate speed week.” She laugh, panting out of breathe.

 

Isak laughs, nodding in agreement.

 

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” She asks as they walk past the Student Union.

 

Nothing, he thinks. He’s supposed to be putting together something, but he’s been nothing, but exhausted this entire week. He knows, they’ll just end up hanging out in their dorms, while Mahdi and Magnus while they complain about never having plans. Then, when it’s finally late enough he’ll go to Jonas’s. It’s like this every week, but Isak’s not admitting that to Eva. “I’m not sure yet, why?” He finally answers.

 

“We’re having a party. The entire team’s invited.” She says, “You should come. You can invite your friends.”

 

“OKay.” Isak smiles.

 

Eva smiles back, “I’ll text you about it.” She promises.

 

A bit of relief comes off Isak, now he doesn’t have to feel this awful about Magnus, especially when he’s going to get him into a party with upperclassmen athletes.

 

_***_

 

Isak let's Mahdi and Magnus about the party Friday. They’re so excited for it, Isak almost wishes he hadn’t told them. They keep texting him, making sure they're still going. No matter how many times Isak tells them they are, they won’t stop checking.

 

Magnus and Mahdi show up at Isak’s door and hour before the party actually starts. They’re dressed better than Isak’s seen them all week. Magnus seems to be still mopping over Vilde. when he huffs back into Isak’s chair, he’s holding onto his plastic water bottle, he’s filled with alcohol, looking heartbroken. The containter’s dark enough that it hides the color of his alcohol, so Isak worried that Magnus has been cradling it down their hallway.

 

As it gets closer to 11, Even comes through the door. He looks surprised to see the other boys in their dorm. Usually, they all tries to avoid it, not only because of Even, but because of Jonas too. Isak notices he must have come from the gym, his checks are still pink and sweat streaked.

 

“Where are you guys going?”  Even asks, trying to seem uninterested, but Isak can tell he is. It’s the first time they’ve talked since Wednesday.

 

Isak doesn’t exactly go to parties. And if he does, it’s usually with Jonas, and Even. But Jonas hasn’t given him answering on whether or not he’s coming. Isak kows Jonas won’t show up, so he really doesn’t Even to know where he’ll be tonight.

 

“Isak got us invited to a swim party.” Mahdi answers, earning him a sharp, violent look from Isak.

 

“Who’s?” Even asks, still looking at Isak, even though it’s Mahdi that keeps answering him.

 

“Eva.” Magnus says, and this time the looks get thrown his way.

 

“Eva Mohn?” Even still seems surprised.

 

When Mahdi nods, Even pulls off his shirt, reaching for a clean one out of his dresser. “I’m going.”

 

Magnus and Mahdi say nothing, but their quick, wide eyes matching Isak’s, say it all.

 

“No, you’re not.” Isak finally speaks up.

 

“Did you invite Jonas?” Mahdi asks him, winching after he take a sip of whatever he’s drinking.  

 

Isak is unsure if he’s just imagining the stuttering in Even’s movements or they’re actually there. Either way, he looks like he’s waiting for Isak’s answer.

 

“Yea.” Isak says, “ but I think he’s busy tonight.”

 

“Again?” Mahdi says, and Isak nearly freezes. The first time Jonas didn’t show up, Even happened. Isak knows it, Even knows it and now Even knows Mahdi and Magnus do as well.

 

Mahdi must realize he’s said something he shouldn’t have because he looks panicked, staring at Isak.

 

“I’m going.” Even repeats, “I know Eva better than you.”

 

Isak realizes there's nothing they can do about it, when they leave, Even following behind.  Mahdi and Magnus don’t seem to care, the only thing they’d become angry at is if they missed the party. Having Even tagging along doesn’t phase them all. It doesn't even seem to phase Even. He’s smiling when he follows them out.

 

The address is in two block behind the gym. It’s the small white house at the end of the street, Isak can see fluorescent neon lights coming through the opened windows.

 

Another girl opens the door, looking at the the three of them before her smile widens when she looks  at Even. “Even!”She hugs him.

 

“Chris.” He smiles back moving in front of the boys to meet her. After she hugs him, she looks back at them.

 

“Come in.” She smiles, making room so they can all come in. For the first time Isak follows after Even. It’s not a large house so Isak can see the kitchen as soon as they step in. Despite the size, the house is completely full. He’s awkwardly standing in one of the horse's small hallways when he hears Eva.

 

“Isak! You came!” Eva shouts as soon as she sees him. She pushes past people to meet him across the room.

 

“I’m part of the team!” He laughs, awkwardly letting her put a loose arm around him for a hug.

 

When she notices the bottle of alcohol in his hands, she moves forward and grabs them a pair of cups from the stack on the coffee table. The bottle’s half way empty, between the three of them, they had already drank a lot of it back in Isak’s dorm.

 

Eva holds both of their cups while Isak pours, messily, letting it splash in both of their cups.

 

“Who’s house is this?” He asks, as they he takes a sip. He takes another look before he swallows.

 

“Eskild’s.” Eva answers, “he has two other roommates, though.”

 

Isak laughs, he should have known. Between the neon lights and weird homemade art portraits on the walls, the place screams Eskild. “Of course.” He laughs.

 

So does Eva, holding the cup to her lips, “Who’d  you bring?” She asks.

 

He looks over, finding Mahdi and Magnus talking to a few girls in a group.“Just Mahdi and Magnus, thy’re two ofmy freinds.” He points out

 

Eva nods looking at the boys.

 

“Oh and my roommate, Even.” Isak adds,“he said he knew you.”

 

“Even.” Eva repeats, “Even bech Naeshim.” She says louder. She clutches Isak’s arm, staring at him with wide eyes and disbelief, “You're roommate-Isak. that Isak.”

 

He nods slowly, unsure what she truly means.

 

“Fuck.” Eva laughs, looking at him like that again. “Wow.” She’s still smiling when she takes a sip.

 

“What?” Isak frowns.

 

“Nothing.” She grins further behind her cup, “I’ve just heard a lot about you.”

 

“Good or bad?” Isak asks, already know the answer.

 

“Mostly Bad.” Eva tells him, laughing when she sees Isak roll his eyes. “Did Even really walk on you hooking up?”

  
“It was one time!” Isak blushes. Over Eva’s laughter he explains, “And we weren’t doing anything then.”

 

Eva’s still chuckling when Isak pouts a little, “I can’t believe he told you that.” He says, “ I almost caught him too.”

 

“Even was with someone?” She shouts. Isak doesn’t understand why she looks so surprised.

 

“Yeh.” Isak nods, “He tried locking me out.”

 

“Seriously.” Eva says, “Even was with someone” She repeats.

 

He takes another sip before he asks, “Why is that surprising. He has a girlfriend?’

 

Eva nearly chokes on her drink, looking at Isak in confusion, “No he doesn’t.”

matches his sip before answering, “

 

“That girl.” Isak shakes his head, “Vilde.”

 

“Vilde?” Eva repeats, “You think Even’s dating Vilde?” She can already get the words out through her laughter.

 

“He’s not?” Isak asks, not understanding anything she’s doing.

 

“No.” She finally laughs it out,

 

Isak feels weight come off of him. Not just because he doesn’t feel guilty about telling MAgnus, but knowing Even doesn’t have a girlfriend makes just a little better. However, confusion just replaces the stress. Why was she crying, and why did Even let him believe he did?

 

“So, he’s not with anyone?” Isak asks, trying to look away in disinterest.

 

“I don’t think so.” Eva answers, and Isak can see her smiling like she knows, “What about you? Still with however Even caught you with?”

 

“Kind of.” Isak shrugs. He only continues because Eva gives him a funny look, “We kind of have a thing.”

 

That doesn’t explain it any better, but at least Eva’s look is gone

 

“What’s his name?” She asks.

 

“Jonas.” Isak says, “Jonas Vasquez.”

 

Eva has a look like she’s trying to put a face to her name, but Isak knows she won’t. Isak can’t imagine Eva knowing someone like Jonas. She’s their lead swimmer, and Jonas hasn’t even gone to one of their meets.   
  
“Wait?” Isak stops to think, “How do you know Even?”

 

“Vilde. She’s my roommate.” She answers, “Her and Even are like a packaged deal.”

 

"Why isn't she hear then?" Isak asks, looking around just in case he's missed her. He's glad she isn't though, it's only make Magnus even more upset. Also, he doesn't want him to find out that he hasn't told him that Vilde knows Even.

 

"Her boyfriend." Eva says, and Isak can tell it's all she wants to say about it.

 

"So." He moves on, "How do they know each other?"

 

“They grew up together, so they’ve been best friends since they were like five.”

 

“Oh.” Isak finally gets it.

 

Just then he hears the speaker get turned on all the way. They look over finding Eskild turning the knob. His grows wider when he sees Isak rushing over to throw his arm around him. “Isak.”

 

“Hey.” Isak stumbles just a little, especially with Eskild putting all his weight on him.

 

“Why didn’t you introduce me to your friends?” He asks, pushing them towards them.

He sees Even behind them, looking over at them with a smirk. That only grows wider when he hears Eskild ask, “Where’s one time Jonas?”

 

Isak ignores, giving Eskild a look, “He might come later.”

 

“Boo.” Eskild groans, “Is there a cooler part somewhere else?”

 

Isak laugh nervously. Jonas might be at another party; he doesn’t know, because Jonas hasn’t texted him back. Luckily someone turning down the music captures Eskild’s attention. “Noora.” He yells, leaving Isak behind.

 

“That’s Eskild?” Magnus asks, when he leaves.

 

“Yea.” Isak takes a sip. His cups gone nearly empty, and now that he’s remembering Jonas, he’s ready to pour it full again.

 

“He doesn’t like Jonas either.” Magnus points out, “I like him.” Magnus laughs.

 

“Shut up.” Isak rolls his eyes, pouting his cup full.

 

He sees Mahdi talking to Even and he doesn’t like it.

 

“Mahdi.” Isak call out, trying to end their conversation.

 

They both turn around facing him. “We’re gonna go play a round of beer pong.” Mahdi tells him.

  
“No stay up here.” Isak tries to persuade him.

 

“Scared of a little competition?” Even scoffs.

 

Isak grits his teeth, gulping another sip. He’s not sure if it’s the alcohol or Even that’s leaving something bitter in his mouth. “No.”

 

“Let me see then.” Even challenges, “Me and Mahdi, against you and Magnus.”

 

Before Isak says anything, he looks at Mahdi for help. Normally, he would ignore Even, it’s what he’s best at, but there’s something about the smile tugging on his lips that makes him agree to it. “Fine.”

 

There’s already a crowd around the kitchen table, bu they’re mostly there for lack of pace in the living room. When Even stars lining up the cups, they begin to shuffle out of the way. Mahdi helps him, putting the cups in a triangular formation across the table.

 

He and Magnus don’t bother to help, just watch them pop open beers and pour them into the cups. It takes longer than it should, especially with Isak continuing to glare at Even the entire time.

 

“You ready?” Even asks them both, but he’s only looking at Isak.

 

He moves next to Magnus, taking his place on the opposite side of the table.

 

“You do know how to play, right?” Even asks.

 

“You know how to play, so I figure it doesn't require any skill or brains.”

 

“Because swimming does.” Even says back.

 

“And Boxing does.”

 

“OKay!” Mahdi steps in, “Are we going to play or not?”

 

Isak gives Even one more look before he outstretches his hand, “We go first.”

 

“Why?” Mahdi asks.

 

“Because you asked us.” Magnus reasons.

 

Even tosses over the ball, and the game begins.

 

With the ball in his hand, Isak looks out in front of him. There’s ten cups on both sides, all Isak has to do is hit one of them. He figures it can’t be that difficult. It’s a drinking game, people play it drunk. He makes his first throw, aiming for the middle of the pyramid. He would have made it, if the ball hadn’t bounced off the rim of the cup. Even catches it before it can make it to the kitchen floor. He hears Mahdi laugh, and sees Even’s smiling as well.

 

“Nice aim.” Even snorts.

 

“Just go.” Isak tells them.

 

Mahdi goes first, his ball hits the rim, but it falls into the cup behind it. He and Even high-five before he’s making Magnus take the drink. Magnus mutters under breath, drinking the entire thing in one gulp. He pulls the ball out of the empty cup. It’s Magnus's turn, and much to Isak’s surprise, he makes it in. Magnus even looks surprised, shirking a “ah!”, making Magnus drink it.

 

Isak watches Even take the ball, his eyes set on the cup closest to Isak. He smiles like he’s knows he’s going to get it in right before he throws the ball. Mahdi cheers as it lands in the beer.

 

“That’s for you.” Even nods towards the cup, laughing when Isak picks it up, nose scrunching up when he has it close to his face. As he looks into the cup to the find the ball floating at the top, Isak realizes, how unsanitary the game actually is.

 

After the first round, Isak tries harder. Magnus turns out to be surprisingly good, but Mahdi and Even are just better. The alcohol doesn't help, especially since Even’s hell bent on making Isak drink every cup he lands in. He starts to feel the alcohol when they're down to the last two cups. Isak’s drank over half of them, and his last three shots haven't landed anywhere close to a cup. He giggles into his hand when their ball bounces off the table, and Mahdi has to chase after it. It doesn’t take long before both of the cups are gone.

 

“Traitor.” Isak says to Mahdi as he’s finishing his last drink.

 

“Yea. Traitor!” Magnus adds in.

 

“Don’t be a loser.” Mahdi chuckles at them, still gloating in their victory.

 

Isak stumbles forward, his limbs feel heavy. “Can’t believe you played with Even.” Isak pouts.

 

“You’re just mad you lost.” Even speaks up.

 

“Wasn’t talking to you.” He mutters, crossing his hands over his chest, but without their support, he tumbles.

 

Even moves, but luckily Isak catches himself before he falls.

 

“Rematch!” Magnus yells. His eyes glossy from the alcohol.

 

“Rematch.” Isak repeats after him.

 

“That’s not happening” Even laughs first, “You can hardly stand up on your own.”

 

“Whatever.” Isak rolls his eyes. He’s not sure if he manages it or not. His eyelids are so heavy he’s not even sure if they’re open.

 

He hears both of their laughter this time, but only Even’s voice comes through,“You’re such a lightweight.”

 

“You’re a lightweight.” Isak mocks, tripping over his own feet. This time, Even does catch him. Even only has his hand around his wrist, but Isak can't help, but remember when his hand were somewhere else. He forgets for a moment where he is. The room’s a little smaller, warmer, and Even’s right in his face, staring back at him. They haven't been this close since that night.

 

Isak can feel Mahdi and Magnus’s eyes on him, reminding him that they're here, and not pushed back in someone’s dark room, upstairs at party. They’re standing in the middle of the kitchen, both of their friends surrounding him. He pulls out of Even’s grip, keeping close enough so incase he does fall, he’ll land on Even. He tells himself that’s the only reason why.

 

“I’m going to get him back to the dorm.” Even says.

 

“No.” Magnus drunkenly states. “There’s no way I’m letting Isak leave alone with you, Even.”

 

“You should take him back too.” Even tells Mahdi, ignoring Magnus altogether.

 

“I want to go with Magnus.” Isak pushes past Even, holding onto his friend.

 

Even rolls his eyes, getting them near the door when he leaves them for just a few second.   
“Stay here.” He tells both of them.

 

While they wait, Isak’s laughing about something he can’t remember while Even goes to say goodbye.

 

“See!” Magnus says, “Jonas didn’t come to the party, and you didn’t sleep with Even.”

 

“Shhhhh.” Isak shushes him. He leans really close into Magnus, like he’s going to tell him a secret. “Magnus.” he says, “I think it’s going to happen again.”

 

Magnus stares at him, “I know.”

 

“I think I want it to.”

 

“I know.” He repeats.

 

Isak’s glad Mahdi and Even are making their way back to them, because he’s got about ten more secret about to come out of him.

 

Even goes to help him, but Isak pushes his hand away, pulling onto Magnus instead.

 

“You guys cheated.” Isak accuses as they step out. The party behind them is a dull humming of noise.

 

“They did!” Magnus agrees, raising his fist, and making them stumble just a bit.

 

“We would have totally won.” Isak goes on, “We’re the _real_ champions.”

 

Isak begins to laugh as Magnus begins to sing ‘we are the champions’ as loudly as he can. He probably sound terrible since half of his words are slurring together, but Isak joins in.

 

“Sh.” Even shushes them, moving up beside Isak. They’ve been tripping over nothing, but their feet for half the block. It’s clear they’re drunk.

 

“Do you want to get an MIP?” Even reminds him.

 

Mahdi moves to Magnus’s side, helping his friend walk on.

 

They boys quiet down, but they’re still giggling when they reach the lobby. Since it’s past midnight, they have to sign their way in. They do their best to act sober, or at least not as drunk as they are. Still that earns them a second glance from the girl sitting at the desk.

 

With luck, she doesn’t say anything, and they’re free to go on.They have to split up at the staircase, since Isak and Even live an entire floor above them. With dramatic, and drunken goodbyes, Isak finally lets go of Magnus. He’s giggling despite Even trying to get him to stop He doesn’t want him to waken an RA. Even’s fumbling with his dorm key, and struggling to keep Isak up outside their door.  

 

“Why did you come with us?” Isak suddenly asks.

 

Even doesn’t answer, but he does get the door open. He moves them both through the door. Finally when they’re inside, Isak collapses into his desk chair, with a loud sigh.

 

“Why did you come?” Isak asks, again.

 

“Go to sleep.” Even tries to brush him off.

 

“Whatever.” Isak pouts grouchily, standing up from the chair He aggressively tugs his shirt, trying to get it over his head. His limbs don’t seem to be coordinating with his thoughts, and he gets lost in limbs and cloth.

 

“Jesus.” He hears Even says, he thinks he may hear a laugh, before he feels Even help him. He’s able to get it off of him, leaving Isak’s bare chest between them.

 

“Do you want it to happen again?” He asks.

 

“You’re drunk.” Even reminds him.

 

“Probably.” Isak shrugs with his entire body. Then he takes a step forward, the light coming in through their windows flashes over his skin. He watches Even’s face.

 

“You don’t have a girlfriend.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Then what’s stopping you.”

 

Silence forms between them until Even finally answers, “You.”


	4. Oops

Isak wakes with a groan, his mouth is so dry that it feels like there’s something pulling at the back of his throat. There’s a heaviness sitting at the front of his head, pounding dully. He thinks he can actually hear the hangover in his ears until he realizes it’s not him, it’s Even. 

 

Isak blinks his eyes open, flinching under his sheet when the sunlight comes through. The blinds have been pulled open so their room is lighter and brighter than it has ever been.

 

He groans even louder, angrily pushing his face back into his pillow. He peeks through to find Even on the floor. He’s lifting himself up by his hands, a loud mix of grunts and counting each time he completes a push-up.

 

“Are you serious?” Isak looks over.

 

He hears Even chuckle, but he doesn’t stop. “Gym’s not open this early.”

 

Of course, it’s not, Isak thinks. It’s seven in the morning on a Saturday. Isak’s never seen Even up this early, not even when he has class. He’s sure he’s doing this just to torture him.

 

“Even, stop.” He says.

 

“Do you remember homecoming weekend when I came back at like 2am, and you set your alarm for 7” Even asks, “And let it go off until 8?”

 

“Vaguely.” Isak groans. Right now he can't think of anything over the pain in his head.

 

“Or the time I lost my keys and you wouldn’t answer the door, so I had to sleep out in the longue.” Even goes on.

 

“Okay.” Isak stops him from going on. “Just stop.” He pleads.

 

“I have seven minutes left in my set” is all Even says.

 

He grunts in frustration, reaching over to his desk, blindly looking for something to throw. His fingers find a pen, and he throws it in Even’s general direction, annoyed when he can hear Even’s breathy laugh.

 

“I hate you.” Isak mutters loud enough that Even will hear.

 

Even laughs at him again, “It’s mutual.”

 

It takes another painful seven minutes before Even’s finished. Isak gets up grumpily, stomping towards his wardrobe. He’s hungover, not bad enough to make him stay in bad, but it’s enough to make him grouchy, and Even isn’t making it any better. He begins pulling off his shirt when knocking comes from their door.

 

Isak curses under his breath, the noise making him flinch. It’s loud and insistent, but Even pretends like he can’t hear it. Isak makes sure his anger is visible when he stomps loudly towards the door, his shirt still in his hands.

 

When he opens it, he finds Mahdi and Magnus starring speechlessly at him.

 

“Did you-” Mahdi begins to ask , looking down at Isak when he stops him, “No!”

 

Magnus is smirking, not believing anything he says. 

 

“Who is it?” Even calls from behind, moving to stand behind him.

 

Magnus’s and Mahdi’s mouth drop when they see Even. He still sweaty from his morning workout, and is wearing even less clothes than Isak.

 

“Hey.” Even smiles when he sees both of the guys in the doorway.

 

Isak feels him press right behind him when Even leans over to give both of them quick handshakes.

 

“Busy morning?” Magnus laughs, looking between them.

 

Even snorts, knowing exactly what they’re joking about. So, Isak glares at him, and then at his friends,“What do you want?”

 

“We just wanted to make sure you got home in one piece.” Mahdi says.

 

“No thanks to you guys!” Isak tells them.

 

“You should have seen Magnus!” Mahdi laughs, “He was worse than you.”

 

“I wasn’t.” Magnus mumbles before he looks at Isak, “he was just as drunk.”

 

“No I wasn’t.” Isak argues back.

 

“Yes you were.” Even adds in, “You were drunk.”

 

Between arguing with Even and his own hangover, Isak’s forgotten about last night. He remembers losing terribly to Mahdi and Even, and then singing with Magnus down the street. Yet, he can't remember anything pst Even staring at him in the dark

 

He turns to look at Even with a hard stare, “Not drunk enough.” Isak snaps back, and everyone knows what exactly  he’s talking about.

 

“You didn’t need to be the first time.” Even reminds him, and Isak grows red.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lies, the embarrassment making it hard to talk.

 

“You don’t know or you can’t remember?” Even says, and the silence in room makes him confused.

 

“Okay.” Mahdi stretches out the word, to fill the silence,“well, we’re gonna go down for breakfast, if you want to come.” He says, looking at both Even and Isak.

 

“I would, but I’ve got something to take care of.” Even says, before they all turn to look at Isak.

 

“I can’t.” He says, “I’ll meet you for dinner.” He offers instead.

 

He gets weird, worried looks from both of his friends before they wave goodbye.

 

“What was that?” Isak yells as soon as the door shuts.

 

Even ignores him at first, pulling on her clothes. When he finally has his pants on, he turns around, “What?”

 

“All that ‘you can’t remember’?” Isak quotes him.

 

Even looks at him and laughs, “Can you even remember getting back?”

 

Isak thinks, but all he has is an image of Even standing in front of him, and he can’t figure out if it’s real or something he’s dreamed up. So he shakes his head, “No.”

 

He looks at him, and Isak thinks he’s going to say something else, but he doesn’t. Instead, he brings his shirt over his head and says, “You passed out as soon as we got in here.” Even shrugs again, and something in Isak tells him that it may not be the entire truth.

 

“Is that all?” He asks.

 

“Pretty much.” Even nods, “You and Magnus were pretty out of it.”

 

“It was your fault.” Isak argues.

 

“It’s not my fault you suck at beer pong.”

 

Isak glares at him, “You had Mahdi! Magnus wasn’t helping me.”

 

“He was better than you!”He laughs.

 

“No.” Isak continues to argue, even though he knows Even’s right. He started bad, and the alcohol just made him worse. Isak never wants to see another pyramid set up ever again. 

 

He’s laughing too when the pounding erupts against their door, for the second time this morning, scarring both of them. Their laughter ceases when they both look toward the noise.

 

“They’re your friends.” Even tells him.

 

“What!?” He violently swings open the door, mad about the noise and the interruption. He’s expecting to see Magnus and Mahdi, but is surprised when he meets Vilde instead.

 

He pauses, quickly softening his voice and expression. Before he can say anything, Even’s knocking him out of the way, “How did it go?” He asks.

 

As soon as his words comes out, she sniffles, threatening to cry. Isak feels slightly disappointed as Even quickly forgets about him, focusing all his attention on Vilde. He takes it as his cue to go when she sobs, holding onto Even’s shoulders. 

 

So, Isak wonders to Jonas’s room, trying to keep himself from arguing with him as soon as he sees him. It’s the second time Jonas has left him alone, Isak thinks he deserves answers this time, especially since he has nothing to hide. He knocks on his door, feeling his anger curl in his fists, finding its way to the back of throat. He’s ready to yell, until Jonas opens the door. He has his hood pulled over his head, and his glasses on. He looks like he’s just woken up, still Isak can see the fresh bruises marking his face.

 

Isak can’t speak, immediately putting his hands on Jonas’s face, exclaiming, “What the fuck, Jonas? What happened?”

 

Jonas winces, pulling himself out of his grasp. “I’m fine.”

 

“Jonas have you seen your face?” He yells, “What happened?”

 

Jonas pushes them back, but Isak’s not able to take his eyes off Jonas’s bruises. This is the worst he’s seen him since he started fighting. 

 

“Jonas.” Isak repeats, letting Jonas back up so he can sit on the foot of his bed. 

 

“Were you in a fight?” He asks.

 

“Yea.” Jonas admits, “Well no.” He takes out, before stuttering a “Kind of, I guess.”

 

“How were you kind of in a fight?” Isak shouts in confusion.

 

“It wasn’t official.” Jonas explains. He shifts back so he can land on his pillows. 

 

It still doesn’t make any sense to Isak. Their fights are never official. He also doesn’t understand why Jonas wouldn’t tell him. “What do you mean?” He finally asks.

 

“It was off the books.”

 

“Why?” He asks, quickly following it up with a “With who?” 

 

Jonas doesn’t respond. 

 

“Jonas, your face is fucked up. Why didn’t you tell anyone?” Isak raises his voice.

 

“I don’t want to talk about this, Isak.” Jonas huffs, still ignoring his questions. 

 

“Did you just come here to fight with me?” 

 

“No.” Isak says, “I came here to ask you why you didn’t show up last night.”

 

“So, you did come to fight?”

 

“You didn’t show up again.”

 

“I was busy.” Jonas says.

 

“Obviously

 

“Isak.” Jonas yells in frustration, “I can’t go to every party you go to. Are you going to get pissed every time I don’t?” He yells.

 

“No.” Isak says, even though he wants to say ‘yes’.

 

“I already told you, I’m not looking for something hard.”

 

“I know.” Isak voice is low. It feels like Jonas is threatening to end it.

 

Before either of them can say anything else, the door begins to open; their argument ends, but their anger is still there. Jonas’s roomate walks in, and Isak notices a girl follow in afterwards. They must notice the tension because they stop, like they’re ready to walk back out, “Are we interrupting?” He looks between them, “We can come back.” He offers.

 

“No.” Jonas stops him, “We’re good.” He says, looking at Isak for confirmation.

 

“Yea. we’re good.” Isak nods, even though he doesn’t agree.

 

They move further in, closing the door being him.

 

“I’m Yousef.” He introduces himself, “This is my girl, Sana.”

 

Isak’s met Yousef before, but he’s never at Jonas’s dorm, and if he is, Isak isn’t.

 

They both wave to him, “Isak, right?” Yousef asks.

 

Isak nods, offering them both a small smile. He recognizes Sana instantly, he’s had multiple labs and lectures with her.

 

“You’re in my Intro to micro class?” Sana mentions.

 

“Yea.” Isak says, “and Chem 221.”

 

“Yea!” Sana smiles, recognizing him within her schedule. 

 

When no one bothers to say anything else, Jonas looks at Yousef, “How’d the game go?”

 

“Good.” Yousef says.

 

“Good?” Sana laughs, “They won: 26  to 17.”

 

“It was nothing.” Yousef smiles bashfully at his girlfriend, “Northwest lost all their good players this year, so it was easy.” 

 

Sana rolls her eyes, knowing her boyfriend’s being too humble.

 

“Congrats.” Jonas says.

 

After a moment of silence, Yousef speaks again, “So are you gonna tell me what happened to your face?”

 

Isak sits up, eager for Jonas’s answer.

 

“Got caught up in something” is all Jonas says.

 

Yousef’s face screws up, “Does Hector know?”

 

Jonas pulls his hood down, a little further over his face, “He does by now.”

 

Yousef nods a few times, and Isak can tell they’re both holding back since he and Sana are in the room.

 

He shifts in Jonas’s computer chair, giving him a look. 

 

“What are you doing today?’ Jonas asks, trying to make conversation, so they’re not sitting in a painful silence.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak shrugs, even if he had plans, he wouldn't tell Jonas.

 

“Are you going back to yours?” Jonas asks.

 

“I don’t know. Maybe.” Isak says, “Even’s in there with Vilde right now, so.”

 

“Vilde Lien?” Sana suddenly interrupts.

 

“I think.” Isak answers.

 

“She’s back?”

 

“I guess, she’s down with him now.” Isak tells him,

 

“Is she okay?” She immediately asks.

 

“I think.” Isak guesses, “She was crying, but that was it.”

 

“Is she still down there?” Sana asks, quickly gathering her things.

 

“Probably.” Isak answers.

Before she’s even out of the room, she’s pressing her phone to her ear, and rushing across the room. As she’s running out, Isak hears her tell whoever’s on the other end that “Vilde’s back.”

 

The door slams shut before Isak can hear anything else.

 

“Is everything alright?” Isak speaks up, “With Vilde.”

 

“Who knows.” Jonas sighs, “It’s probably something with her boyfriend.”

 

“Who is he?” Isak asks.

 

Jonas moves up to rest on his elbows, “William Magnusson.”

 

He hears Yousef make a gagging sound in disgust. Jonas laughs in agreement, but the name means nothing to Isak.

 

“He doesn’t come here.” Jonas explains, “He boxes.”

 

“Have I seen him?” Isak rakes through his memories, trying to remember everyone Jonas has ever introduced him to.

 

“No.” Jonas says, “He only fights when he’s trying to prove something.” He goes on, “You’ve seen his friends though.”

 

“Who?”   
  


“Schistad.” He hisses.

 

“He’s met Chris!” Yousef seems surprised, and not in a good way.

 

“He came up to us after a match.” Jonas explains.

 

Yousef shakes his head like he can’t believe Chris has seen him.

 

“It’s not like he remembers him.” Jonas says, “It was one time.”

 

“Still.” Yousef looks at Jonas, “You know how them boys are.” 

 

Isak doesn’t understand the conversation, but he knows if he asked, he wouldn’t get any answers anyway. He’s grateful they’re not forced into any more conversation, when Yousef switches on their tv, and The Office plays on it. Isak sits angrily in his chair, pretending like he can’t see Jonas staring at him from the side. 

 

Isak’s sure that it’s his own unsettled anger that making him mad, and not the fact that Jim keeps going to Philly, inconsiderately leaving Pam alone in Scranton. Still, it’s enough to make him want to leave.

 

“Where are you going? Jonas asks when Isak gets up. There’s still anger sitting between them, but neither of them are willing to acknowledge it.

 

“I’m meeting Magnus and Mahd for dinner.” He answers.

 

“Do you want me to come?” Jonas asks, and Isak can tell it’s not a genuine invitation. Jonas just feels bad, and is looking for a way to make it up.

 

“No.” Isak says, “It’s fine.” He wants to say something else, but he bites his tongue, not ready to start another argument, especially with Yousef there. 

 

“Okay.” is all Jonas says, his voice still full of attitude.

 

“Okay.” Isak repeats.

 

Neither of them say anything else after that. Isak leaves silently, letting the door shut loudly behind him.

 

He makes it down to the cafeteria right as the dinner rush ends. There are no lines leading up to the serving counters, and most of the tables are empty. He finds his friends at their usual back table.

 

“So I know why Jonas didn’t come.” Isak says immiedaley as he drops in front of Mahdi and Magnus. 

 

“Why?” Magnus blurts out, mouthful of a chicken burrito.

 

Isak makes a face at him, but answers, “He got into a fight.”

 

Mahdi gives him a strange look, “Isn’t that kind of what he does?”

 

“No.” Isak clarifies, “He  _ got  _ into one.”

 

“What happened?” 

 

“All he said was he ‘got into something’”. Isak quotes.

 

“With who?” Magnus asks.

 

Isak shrugs, “He wouldn’t tell me.”

 

“Was it someone from their club?” Mahdi says.

 

“Maybe.” Isak nods. As he starts to think about it, the more Isak relaizes Mahdi’s probably right, “There’s a group of guys Jonas and Even don’t like.” Isak says, careful not to say anything about Vilde’s boyfriend being one of them.

 

“Why?” Magnus asks.

 

“Because.” Isak struggles, “You know, there’s fighting and feuds or whatever.”

 

Magnus takes another bite of his burrito, before he speaks, “Is it bad?”

 

“I think it’s just his face.” Isak tries to remember if he was hurt anywhere else

 

“Why didn’t he tell you?” Mahdi wonders.

 

Isak shrugs, just as confused as his friend, “He got mad when I asked him.”

 

“Maybe he’s embarrassed.” Mahdi guesses.

 

“No.” Isak says, “It’s something else.”

 

“Like?” Magnus says.

 

Isak shrugs, “I don’t know.”

 

“You know who would.” Magnus says. Isak looks at him waiting for his answer. “Even.” 

 

“No.” Isak shakes his head. “I am not asking Even.”

 

“It’s the only way.” Magnus reminds him.

 

“No.” Isak repeats, “No. I’m not asking Even.”

 

“Ask me what?” He hears from behind, Even quicky takes a seat in front of them.

 

“What are you doing here?” Isak spits out, trying to ignore Even’s first question.

 

Even looks at him, and then down at his plate, “C’mon, Isak. You’re smarter than that.”

 

His friends laugh, until Isak’s glaring at them to stop.

 

“Don’t you have something to do.” Isak rolls his eyes.

 

“No.” Even shakes his head, “I was gonna go to the gym, but I already worked out this morning.” Even shrugs. He smiles tightly, knowing it will irritate Isak further. 

 

“What were you guys gonna ask me?” Even asks, looking at Mahdi and Magnus for an answer.

 

“If.” Mahdi starts up, looking at Isak like he’s trying to figure out what to say, “you're gonna go home for break.”

 

“Yea.” Magnus adds in when Mahdi finishes.

 

“I’m staying.” 

 

Mahdi instantly looks at Isak, as panicked as him. Magnus only smiles, “Isak’s staying too.”

 

***

 

“You have to stay.” Isak tells Mahdi as they’re sitting in the student union. It’s only been two days since Even let them know he wasn’t leaving, but Isak hasn’t stopped thinking about it.  

  
“For break?” Mahdi voice raises, until he eventually adds, “With you? No way!”

  
  
“Please.” Isak  begs. It’s late enough in the afternoon that the lounge area is nearly empty, so he doesn’t care about how desperate he’s sounding.

 

“No way.” Mahdi immediately shakes his head, “I’m going home.”

  
  
‘Do you think Magnus would?” Isak asks,  desperate for someone to stay with him. He doesn’t trust himself to be alone with Even for that long.

  
  
“Magnus would what?” Magnus manages to catch and repeats as he collapses into the chair next to Isak. He looks between his friends friends for the rest if that sentence.

  
  
“Stay for break.” Isak fills him in.   


  
“No,” Magnus quickly says, “You know it costs like 200$ to stay in the dorms. Fuck that.”

  
  
Isak nods, he’s already payed it.

  
  
“Why are you staying, anyway?” Magnus asks.

  
  
“I have a lot of work.” Isak lies.

  
  
“Then why do you want me to stay?” Magnus doesn’t seem to understand. “Won’t you be too busy.”

  
  
“Even’s not leaving either, remember.” Mahdi says.

 

“Oh, yea!” Magnus’s smiles jumps back on his face, “So you want us to stay to make sure you don’t sleep with Even. Again.”

 

“No.” Isak quickly says, but his friends can see right through him. “Maybe.” He finally admits, “But it’s not gonna happen.” Isak reassures them, and himself. 

 

“You should just let it happen.” Magnus shrugs, “It’s not like you’re in a relationship.”

 

Even though Magnus is right, it still stings to hear. 

 

“Magnus.” Mahdi warns, knowing it’s bit of a sore subject, especially right now.

 

“I mean.” Magnus softens, “if Jonas isn’t gonna act like you’re together, why should you.”

 

“Just because I’m mad at him doesn’t mean I should fuck his best friend.”

 

“Why not?” Magnus asks, and Isak can’t tell if he’s being genuine or sarcastic, “You said you wanted it to happen again.”

 

“What?” Isak and Mahdi both shout, staring at Magnus for answers.

 

Magnus blinks slowly, he looks confused, “What? You told me that. Remember?”

 

“No!” Isak scowsls, he’s never admit that, especially not to Magnus. He begins to worry what else he could have said, and who else may have heard it. 

 

“That’s because you were drunk.” Magnus chuckles, “I was too, so I don’t even know how I remembered that.”

 

“You said that?” Mahdi is still stuck on the information.

 

“I was drunk.” Isak reminds him.

 

“Not too drunk to tell the truth.” Magnus says.

 

“Is that all I said?” Isak asks, ignoring everything Magnus had just said.

 

“I think.” Magnus says, trying to remember.

 

“Think!” He shouts at him, “Did I say anything else?”

 

“I don’t think so.” Magnus finally answers him.

 

“Did Even hear me?”

 

“No.” Magnus shakes his head, “It was just you and me, but” Magnus stops to consider.

 

But!?” Isak shouts when Magnus isn't answering fast enough.

 

“But.” Magnus finally continues, “we left and you were with Even alone. So maybe.” He says “Do you remember?”

 

“I can’t remember anything after we left. Fuck.” He sighs, “I’m never drinking like that again.” Isak tells them. He begins to panic realizing there are still parts of the night's he can’t piece together. If he told Magnus that, he doesn’t know what he said when he was alone with Even. He now knows there’s something Even’s leaving out, “You don’t think I said anything?”

 

“Probably not.” Mahdi reassures him, “What did Even say?”

 

“Nothing.” Isak answers, but he isn’t so sure anymore, “He said I passed out.”

 

“See.” Mahdi shakes his head.

 

“So.” Magnus redirects their conversation back to their original one, “You’re gonna sleep with him?”

 

“NO!” Isak shouts.

 

“Why?” Magnus whines

 

“Because.” He stutters,and he knows there are many reasons why he and Even can’t ever let it happen again, but right now none of them are coming through. So, instead he shakes his head, “No, Magnus.”

 

“So, is Jonas staying?” Mahdi finally asks, and Isak smiles gratefully at his friend for changing the subject. 

 

“I don’t think so.” Isak says, “I haven’t asked him, but he probably won’t.”

 

“You could ask him.” Mahdi suggests.

 

“I haven’t talked to him since Saturday.” He confesses.

 

Both Mahdi and Magnus seem surprised. 

 

“Really?” Mahdi asks.

 

Isak shrugs, he really doesn’t want to talk about it. “We’re kind of in an argument so we’re not talking.”

 

“Isn’t that what you guys always do?” Magnus rolls his eyes.

 

“He started it this time.” Isak defends himself.

 

“See.” Magnus says, quietly, “Just fuck Even!”

 

“You do it then,  since you’re so obsessed with him.” Isak rolls his eyes, “you’ve hung out with him like once, and now your best friends.”

 

“Jealous?” Magnus teases.

 

“When are you going to hang out with Jonas?”Isak asks.

 

That idea makes both of his friends laugh.

 

“I’d rather sleep with Even.” Magnus mumbles.

 

“That’s Isak’s man!” Mahdi mocks.

 

“You know what?” Magnus suddenly realizes, “You never even told us about it!

 

“It?” Mahdi and Isak question, continuing to look at him until Magnus blurts out, “Even!”

 

Isak doesn’t know what to say, his face is burning in embarrassment. It’s not like he’s been able to forget it.

 

“What was it like?” Magnus asks, “Is he good? Is he big?” Magnus’s questions rush out before he gasps, “Is he better than Jonas?”

 

As soon as he says it, Mahdi barks out a loud laugh.

 

“NO, Magnus.” Isak shakes his head, refusing to answer any of his questions.

 

“No, as in he’s not better or no as in he is better.”

 

“No.” Isak only says, over both of his friends laughter “N-O.”

 

*** 

 

It’s the fourth time Isak has yawned and the third time he’s reread the same page. He can feel the heaviness in his eyelids, but he tries to ignore it. His assignments are due tomorrow, and he hasn’t even started them. Between practice and arguing, Isak has fallen behind. He just needs to make it through this week, but it feels like he’s about to fall asleep right there in the library. Then, a stack of books drop next to him, scaring him awake.

 

“Isak.” Eskild smiles.

 

Isak tiredly smiles back, his head still resting in his hand.

 

“You look exhausted.” He comments.

 

Isak yawns, “We’ve had night practice everyday this week.”

 

Eskild gives him an empathetic smile, “The competition’s this friday, right.”

 

Isak turns to look at him, “You’re the student manager.” He says like he’s reminding him.

 

“I know.” Eskild sits up, “What’s wrong with you?”

 

“Nothing.” He sighs, “I’m just ready for break.”

 

“Are you going home?” Eskild asks.

 

Isak shakes his head, and he can already see the ‘why’ forming on Eskild’s face. “I’ve got a lot of work.” He gets out before he can even ask.

 

Eskild nods, ready to say something else when another spot at his table gets filled. Isak looks up, surprised when he sees Jonas across from him. He looks at Eskild, like he’s trying to figure out who he is.

 

“This is Eskild.” Isak introduces him, “He’s our team manager.”

 

“Jonas.” He nods.

 

“So you’re one-time Jonas.” Eskild smiles, leaning forward.

 

Jonas is instantly confused by the nickname. “What?” He stumbles out, and Isak can tell he’s embarrassed.

 

“Isak told me-” He begins to explain when Isak stops him, “it’s just some stupid name Eskild came up with. I didn’t tell him anything.”

 

“Right.” He says, “Are you busy? I need to talk to you.” Jonas moves on.

 

“I should leave.” Eskild interrupts, looking painfully between them.

 

Isak waves him off, grateful that he does. Eskild smiles at both of them, leaving Isak alone with Jonas. They haven’t spoken since Saturday, so the tension’s still heavy between them.

 

“What are you doing right now?” He breaks the silence.

 

“Studying.” Isak answers, obviously.

 

“When are you going to be done?” Jonas asks, and Isak can tell he’s becoming impatient.

 

“I don’t know.” He answers, honestly, “I have a lot to do. I’m busy.”

 

He doesn't have to look at Jonas to know he’s rolling his eyes, “Are you gonna act like this everytime we fight?”

 

“I don’t know.” Isak doesn’t bother looking at him to answer, “Are you gonna keep acting like an asshole?”

 

“Why are you doing this, Isak? Haven’t we’ve already done this?” Jonas sighs, loudly He doesn’t know how many times they’ve had this conversation, but it feels like it’s happening more than it should.

 

“We can.” Isak assures him, “But I think you should still tell me what happened?”

 

Jonas groans, “Can’t we just skip to the part where we fuck and get over it?”

 

Isak blushes, knowing that’s exactly what they do. He feels Jonas fingers hold onto his thigh, “We’re really good at it.”

 

“You can’t just-” Isak begins to say before he chokes on his own words when Jonas’s hand moves up, right in the crease of his thigh.

 

“Can’t what?” Jonas whispers.

 

Isak looks around nervously, reminding himself that they’re in a library, and Jonas’s hand is dangerously close to his dick.

 

“Can’t do this, here.” Isak manages to get out.

 

Jonas looks around. They’re at a table in the back. The lights aren’t too bright, and there’s not many people around. Still, Isak’s sure they’re bound to get caught. 

 

“Are you sure?” Jonas doesn’t give up, moving his fingers lightly over Isak’s pants. He adds just enough pressure that it’ll make Isak want more.

 

Isak nods urgently. Jonas sighs, moving his hand off of him, “You’re no fun.”

 

Isak’s panting hard when he watches Jonas move back into his chair. He’s still feeling the warm from Jonas’s hand spread over him. He knows he definitely won’t be able to focus now.

 

“Fuck.” He whispers, “Let's go.”

 

“To the bathroom?” Jonas face brightens at the idea.

 

“No.” Isak scowls, “to mine.”

 

Jonas’s smile drops a little, but he’s still excited. He grins when he sees the slight tent raising in front of Isak’s pants, pulling him with him out.

 

Somewhere in the back of Isak’s mind, he knows he shouldn’t be giving in to Jonas so quickly. He should still be angry, but he can’t. 

 

Jonas has got his hands around Isak’s waist when he finally gets the door open. Their moods instantly change when they walk in to find Even at his desk. 

 

It’s evident what they were planning to do, especially since their moods change so quickly.

 

“Even.” They both stop in their doorway, “I didn't know you’d be here.” Jonas tries to play it cool. “Are you done with your classes, already?”

 

“Yea, one of them got cancelled.” Even nods, bitterly smirking when he realizes he’s crashing their plans.

 

“Great.” Jonas says, dryly. 

 

Isak looks at Jonas, he’s not sure what he should do.

 

“We could go to yours.” Isak whispers.

 

“Yousef’s there.” Jonas tells him.

 

“Oh.” Isak says.

 

“The parking lot’s probably empty.” Jonas starts to hint at.

 

“We’re not doing it in your car.” Isak whispers, and he really hopes Even can’t hear him, but by the look on his face he knows he did.

 

“Okay.” Jonas rolls his eyes when he realizes their plans are falling apart. 

 

They're still awkwardly standing by the doorway when Jonas blurs out,” You mind, man?” He’s gesturing towards the door, trying to get Even to leave.

 

“Jonas!” Isak squeals, embarrassed 

 

Even stares harshly at them, and Isak almost thinks he’s going to curse at them. Instead he leaves the room, muttering something so low under his breath, Isak can’t even hear it when he pushes past him.

 

“I can’t believe you did that.” Isak gasps when the door rings shut.

 

Jonas doesn’t seem to care, “What?” he laughs, “Even doesn’t care.” 

 

Something in Isak knows that it’s not entirely true.

 

“It’s not like you care what Even thinks.” Jonas says, beginning to walk them backwards, towards Isak’s bed.

 

“Still.” Isak says, unsure.

 

Jonas rolls his eyes, pushing Isak down, so he can get on top of him.

 

“I’m still mad at you.” Isak looks up at him.

 

“You’re always mad.” Jonas laughs.

 

“That’s because you always make me mad, and you never-” He starts to argue back when Jonas kisses him roughly, his mouth pressed agony his so he can’t say anything else. 

 

He falls easily back, without a fight. He lifts his arms, shuddering when Jonas drags blunt fingernails up his sides with a deliberate hardness as he pulls Isak’s shirt up with it.

 

Jonas presses his lips onto Isak’s again, tilting and angling his head just right so he can lick into his mouth easily. Isak breathes, spreading his hands out underneath Isak’s shirt. He moans impatiently, and sits up slightly so Jonas can take shirt all the way off. The lost of shirt, moves things forward. 

 

When Jonas starts to move his hips against his,  Isak spreads his legs and lets Jonas moves his way in between them. Isak moans breathily into Jonas north, finally feeling the small amount of relief he’s been needing for forever, it feels like.   
  
He begins to grow even more impatient with the contact so close to his cock that it’s making him ready. Jonas must be just as eager because he grips onto The top of Isak’s jeans, pulling them  down his legs much faster than before. He feels Jonas twist in all different ways struggling to kick his own jeans off. He finally has to stop, moving off Isak so he can undress. Isak stares up, breathless, so his thoughts racing about how he’s about to get fucked so good.   
  


As soon they’re off, Isak’s reaching up, pull Jonas back down so he can kiss him again.

 

I swear you do this on purpose.” Jonas says against their lips, Isak not even giving him the time to breathe. He reaches down, pressing down Isak’s briefs, so there’s nothing left on him.

 

“Fight me, so I can fuck you. Jonas finishes his sentence.

 

Isak moans, right into Jonas’s mouth, spreading his legs again, starting to breathe quickly at how Jonas is looking down at him, his eyes so intense.

 

“Are you gonna do it or are you gonna keep talking about.” Isak manages to get out.

 

Jonas grins, capturing his lips again before you says, “You talk too much.”

 

Before he knows it, Jonas is uncapping the small tub of lube, swiping his fingers inside. As soon as Jonas moves his hands down, Isak spreads his legs even wider, a whine from the back of his throat sounding in the silent room. Jonas takes his time, moving closer and down, but not fast enough. Isak’s already arching his back, completely overwhelmed even though nothing’s even happened yet.   
  


His teeth grit together when he feels his fingers finally touch him, his toes curling.    
  
Jonas’s fingers come back as quick as they left, this time entering slowly. Isak toes curl even more, his back arching further up as Jonas’s finger sliding inside of him easily and deeper.

 

“You’ve got nothing to say now?” Jonas asks, and if Isak could do anything, but push back, fast and desperate, he’d say something back, but he can’t.   
  
A second finger moves in beside the first, making Isak grind his hips down to get more of Jonas’s fingers.

  
Finally, leaning over Isak, Jonas loses his shirt, and pulls Isak’s drawer open and fumbles around, taking a moment before finding what he’s looking for.  Isak’s fingertips dig at his hips, tugging on Jonas’s boxers.   
  


“Ready, baby?” Jonas asks.

 

Jonas opens the condom quickly, rolling it on before he moves Isak’s leg over his hip.   
Jonas slides his cock in gently, slowly, watching Isak’s face for any signs of pain. Isak’s whole body arches upwards, a long, choked off moan escaping his open mouth. Jonas covers Isak’s mouth with his own, Isak kisses back the best he can with the intensity and force of Jonas’s thrusts. He’s being knocked backwards with each one, head almost hitting the headboard. Isak reaches around from something to hold onto, grabbing onto Jonas’s shoulders, feet digging into Jonas’s sheets. He’s can hear the sounds they’re making fill the room, probably making their way into the hallway. But there’s so many different things that it’s almost too much, too overwhelming.   
  
Another moan makes it up past Isak’s lips, being swallowed by Jonas’s mouth. Jonas moans an incoherent response, relentlessly fucking Isak back into his mattress. Jonas fucks into him harder, gripping Isak’s thigh so he can lift his leg higher over his shoulder.   
  
“Jonas,” Isak finally manages to moan, as he feels his hips begin to speed up. Isak can’t even make any more noises, too overwhelmed with Jonas’s mouth on his and how hard he’s being fucked to do anything else. 

 

Isak voice breaks when Jonas reaches down and takes ahold of Isak’s cock, stroking himself in time with each of his thrusts. It makes his thighs shake, the feeling of it all, and he starts to feel the familiar feeling of the beginning of an orgasm. Jonas doesn’t stop fucking into him, although, and even keeps the same quick, hard, deep pace that he’s started with. 

 

Finally, Isak feels his hips stutter for the first time and his rhythm starts to become erratic.    
That’s when Isak loses it. He comes with a loud cry, Jonas fist stilling on his cock. Jonas comes quickly, afterward, stilling over Isak until he finishes. He’s breathing heavily, struggling to find his breath. Isak lays pilantly below him, trying to come down.

 

It looks like it takes a lot for Jonas to move out Isak, pulling off the condom so he can move next to Isak, pushing onto his shoulder so he can make room for him. Isak feels the humidity begin to cool down on his sweaty skin. After he begins to feel everything again, Isak speaks, “your face looks better.” Isak says, looking at the fading blue spot right under his eye.

 

“I think I’m becoming immune to them.” He laughs. Isak frowns but doesn't say anything. He runs onto his back, so he can lie next to Jonas.

 

“I’m not trying to be an asshole.” Jonas sighs, finally admitting.

 

“It must come easy to you then.”

 

Jonas nudges him with his shoulder him before he continues, “I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you involved in all this shit.”

 

Isak turns into his side, moving closer, “Why?”

 

“These guys, they don’t care, they’ll do anything to anyone.” Jonas answers.

 

Isak remains quiet, as Jonas clears his throat, “You trust me, right?”

 

Isak doesn’t answer at first, so Jonas presses closer, “Isak.” He teases, gripping onto his hips, “You trust me right?” He asks again.

 

Isak laughs when Jonas’s hands start to hold him down, so he can move on top of him.

 

“Tell me you trust me.” Jonas says right before he kisses him.

 

Isak hesitates, when Jonas leans closer. “Okay.” He whispers, “I trust you.”

 

Jonas kisses him hard, still holding him down. He pushes his hands beneath the comforter before he suddenly breaks the kiss to ask, “Why does everyone call me one-time Jonas?” 

 

“It’s just some stupid thing Eskild started.” Isak answers, trying to get Jonas back onto him.

 

He feels Jonas’s knuckle slide up his thigh,”Does it have to do with us?” He asks his mouth hovering over Isak’s.

 

“No.” Isak quickly shakes his head. He pushes himself up so he can kiss him.

 

Jonas pulls back, just enough that their lips just nearly touch. He tilts his head, and Isak follows him trying to kiss him, “One, though?” He asks, “It can be two.” He starts, his hand slipping back down Isak, “Or three.” He goes on, his hand getting higher.

 

“Three?” Isak breath hitches, “Can you handle that?”

 

Jonas grasps him, holding him tightly, “Can you?”

 

Jonas finally leans forward, and kisses him.

 

“So am I forgiven?” Jonas asks.

 

He hovers over Isak, drinking down at him. Isak takes in a sharp breath of air sliding his hand up Jonas’s back, until his fingers find the back of Jonas’s head.

 

“Maybe.” Isak smiles as he’s tugging down on his hair.

 

Right when Jonas’s lips are against his, Jonas pauses, “Maybe?”

 

Jonas slides his thigh between Isak’s pressing their chests together as his lips moves down his neck, “What about now?” Jonas’s breath spills hotly over him.

 

Isak hums in doubt as Jonas moves further down, leaving a trail of kisses down his chest. 

 

“Jonas.” Isak whispers when Jonas holds one of thighs over his shoulders.

 

“You could.” Isak begins, glancing down, the heat growing warmer between them. Isak doesn’t have to finish the sentence for Jonas to understand what he’s asking. Jonas’s face pulls into a halfway scowl, but he doesn’t say no. 

 

“And then we’re good?” Jonas asks, but he doesn’t seem as excited.

 

“Maybe.” Isak smirks, leaning further back on the bed.

 

Jonas sighs a little, bringing the sheets to his shoulder, and covering the two of them as he finds his way between Isk’s thighs. Isak fels his own nerves pulsating through him as Jonas bends his legs, and holds his hips. Isak’s grip tightens in Jonas’s hair as he feels Jonas’s breath right over his hole. His eyes clamps shut in anticipation when a pounding on the door frightens them open. The entire moment’s interrupted when Even shouts in.

 

“Wait.” Jonas yells back. He curses under his breath, struggling to get out from under the sheets. They quickly redress. Even comes knocking through the door even before Isak has his shirt on.

 

They’re still sitting on Isak’s bed when Even storms in, he’s too surprised to be embarrassed, “What were you thinking!” Even yells.

 

Even doesn’t even look at him, he’s busy angrily staring down at Jonas, “What?” Jonas snaps.

 

“You fought Nicolai!”

 

Isak doesn’t know if he flinches because of Even’s voice, or if it’s because he’s finally given a name, even if it’s one he doesn’t recognize. He realizes Jonas must not have told Even who he fought too, and they’re both learning about it for the first time

 

“It wasn’t my fault.” Jonas yells back, “You know how they are! They fucking started it!”

 

“They always do that! They’re just looking for an excuse.” Even goes on.

 

“I’m done! No more!” Jonas gets up from the bed so he can move in front of Even. Neither of them stand down, and it starting to frighten Isak.

 

“Fuck, Jonas.” Even says, “Do you even know what you’ve started? They know us; where we go to school, who we hang out, who we live with.” Even yells, and Isak sinks further into himself. “Where you even thinking about what’s gonna happen.”

 

“They’re not-” Jonas starts to say when Even interrupts him, “How do you know! You’ve seen what they do with people who cross them.”

 

Jonas is silent for a brief moment before he says, “If they come after me, I'll be ready for them.”

 

The threat makes something inside Isak shift; it frightens him, knowing Jonas has an enemy.

 

When neither of them say anything after that, Isak speaks,“Is everything okay?” He asks to no on in particular, but he waits for both of their answers.

 

“Ask your fucking boyfriend.” Even mutters, stomping right out the dorm. 

 

Isak’s left with Jonas, and the silence.

 

“Who’s Nicolai?” 

 

Jonas sighs, and he's expecting the same harsh answer. Yet, to his surprise Jonas shakes his head, “The boy I fought, “He tells him, “he has friends.”

 

“Okay.” Isak nods, waiting for Jonas to continue.

 

“And they don’t care who they hurt, as long as they get even.” Jonas finishes.

 

“Can’t you do something?” Isak asks, “Like call the police or something?”

 

Jonas laughs, “I’m not a snitch.”

 

Isak rolls his eyes, “this isn’t 4th grade Jonas. If you’re scared-”

“I’m not scared.”

 

“If you're in danger.” Isak re-words it, “they can help.”

 

“I don’t need their help,” Jonas bushes it off, “If they come for me, I’ll come for them.”

 

Isak looks at Jonas, his bruises have begun to fade. Isak knows they won't be his last.

 

“What did Even mean when he said they know who you guys are friends with?” Isak asks, even though he already knows what Jonas has been warning him about it.

 

“They're not gonna do anything to you.” Jonas immediately reassures him.

 

When Isak doesn’t say anything, Jonas tries to laugh, lightly, “don’t worry, baby. I’ll protect you.”

 

Isak rolls his eyes, “I can protect myself.”

 

Jonas laughs louder, “What are you gonna do? Swim away.”

 

Isak huffs, pushing on Jonas’s chest, hard enough to make it hurt.

 

“You should stay here doing break?” Isak suggests, pulling Jonas out of his chair so he’s moving with him onto his bed. Jonas goes with him easily, finding his way on top. 

 

He laughs at Isak, “Why would I do that?”

 

“To protect me.” Isak mocks, “And I’ll be here.” He reminds him, “And the resident halls will mostly be empty.” He moves closer before he adds, “and to continue what we were just doing.” Isak lifts his chin up towards him.

  
  


Jonas laughs, “I’d rather go home.” He teases, and Isak rolls his eyes.

 

“C’mon.” Isak tries. He presses himself up and against him Jonas, “It’ll just be me and you.” Isak continues, his voice low and warm in Jonas’s ear, letting his breath move down to his neck.

 

“And Even.”

 

Isak freezes. “Please.” Isak bats his eye lashes.

 

Jonas looks down at him, and Isak can tell he’s contemplating hard.

 

“I can’t.” He sighs, “I promised my mom I’d come back for break.”

 

Isak pouts, only making Jonas laugh even more. Jonas grabs his chin, pulling his toward his lips. Right before he kisses Isak, he says, “You won’t be alone.”He starts, “Even will be with you.”

 

***

 

Isak’s manages to not completely freak out about his first competition until friday comes, and the warm up is making everything seem real. He doesn’t think he could get anymore nervous until Jonas texts him: “What building do you swim in again?”

 

He’s sure he mentioned it to Jonas, but he didn’t believe he’d come. Isak quickly types: “Building 2. Are you coming?”

 

“Yeh.” Isak smiles once he reads it until another one quickly follows “Even’s coming too.”

 

The change in his expressions must be obvious because when Eva drops down beside him, he hears her laugh, “What was that?”

 

Isak lets his phone go black before he answers, “nothing.”

 

Eva gives him a funny look, like she doesn’t believe him. “Jonas is coming.” He finally admits.

 

“Oh.” Her lips curl into a smile, “He’s finally going to come see his boy.” She coos, and Isak fights his own smile.

 

“I’m not his boy.” She says, “And he’s only coming because he knows I’m mad at him.”

 

“Okay, Isak.” Eva laughs.

 

“Even’s coming too.” He adds.

 

“Really?” she jumps, “He’s never come to any before, even when Vilde would.” 

 

“I’m sure Jonas forced him to come.” Isak says. 

 

Eva gives him an unconvinced look, but Isak tries not to think about why Even’s suddenly interested. He tells himself that Jonas is forcing him to tag along. They probably have something right afterwards, and are looking for something to fill the time.

 

“You coming to the party afterwards?” Eva moves on.

 

“Where it is?”

 

“Eskild’s.” She answers.

 

Isak makes a face, remembering what happened the last time he was there. Though he’s still not sure about half if it.

 

“You have to!” Eva says, “We’re on break.”

 

Isak doesn’t say anything, but Eva can probably tell by his face that he’s debating it.

 

“Bring your boys.”

 

Isak’s ready to argue that ‘they’re not his boys’ when a whistle blows. Announcements run over the intercom. Their stands have began to fill, along with the other side of the school’s benches.

 

Isak has his towel wrapped around his shoulders watching the crowd move in when he manages to find Jonas and Even in the stands. Jonas caches him, a smile wide on his face as he waves. He smiles back, quickly turning around with anxiety rushing through him.

 

Isak waits patiently on the bench, until he finally gets called. He can hear Jonas’s single cheer from behind as he stands on the diving board. Isak’s starring ahead of him, right into the water, the world seeming to silence around him. He breathes in, filling his lungs with air when the whistles screams, and Isak moves. A splash sounds in his ears as he dives in. He swims, fast, cutting through the water arms straining each time they come over. 

 

It takes him thirteen long strokes before his fingertips meet the wall. He scrambles to turn around, kicking off it as hard as he can. The extra force thrusts him far, enough to get him passed the other contestants. However, the gap between him and the others begins to close as they near the wall. Isak can hear the splashing from them as they catch up. He presses himself further on, forcing himself to swim even faster. He needs air, but he doesn’t have the time to come up for it. They’ve been practicing this all week, to go longer with less air. Still, he feels his lungs start to constrict.

 

As soon as he can feel the grainy tile, he grips it, wet fingers clutching the edge. He pushes himself out, skin raising with the cool air. The crowd cheers around him as he gasps for air. He quickly pulls his goggles off so he can see if he’s won. He can hear his name and school get called over the speakers, announcing his win. 

 

The cheering follows him all the way back to the bench. He turns around quickly, meeting Jonas’s smile, and then, Even’s.

 

“Congrats.” Eva whispers, and it forces him to look away. Isak moves next to her. 

 

“Your boys look happy.” She smiles, head gesturing back towards them.

 

Isak pushes against her shoulder, laughing at her smile. 

 

Three other students, including Eva, win after Isak. Their coach is excitedly joining their chants in their locker room once it’s over. The entire teams seems to be on a winning high. They’re all cheering loudly, and Isak has lost count of how many, “congrats, newbie” he’s gotten.

 

“You’re coming to the party tonight, right!” Eva tells him, giving him no room for an argument.

 

“Eva!” He whines, but he’s not ready to turn it down. He wants to go, especially since it’s the last time he’ll see everyone before break.

 

He notices Eva’s laughter suddenly stop, so  he follows her eyes behind him. 

 

“Congrats!” Jonas yells as soon as he sees him.

 

“Thanks.” Isak feels awkwardly as Jonas stands in front of him, surrounded by the rest of the team. 

 

Isak becomes aware of his lack of clothing when Jonas looks him up, smirking when he says, “nice shorts”.

 

“Shut up.” He blushes moving to hit his shoulder.

 

He hears Eva cough beside him, waiting for an introduction. “This is Eva.”

 

“Jonas.” He speaks up.

  
“One time Jonas?” She laughs.

 

Jonas rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed with his newly established nickname. Isak’s laughing to himself when he catches Even doing the same.

 

“I’m sorry.” She laughs her way through an apology, “Eskild made it sound so catchy.”

 

“Of course, he did.” Jonas says.

 

“Are you guys coming tonight?” She asks him.

 

“To?” Jonas seems confused.

 

“The party.” Eva laughs.

 

“Isak never mentioned it.” Jonas looks at him.

 

Isak returns the look. “I didn’t think you’d be able to make it.”

 

Jonas keeps smiling at Eva, “We’ll be there.”

 

***

 

The party starts slow with everyone hanging around the kitchen, siping on whatever’s in their cup. A dull hum of conversation fills the house, and Isak can’t take his eyes off of Jonas. He’s across the room talking to Eva, leaving Isak alone with his friends.

 

“Dude, you’re starring.” Magnus finally pushes his shoulder, breaking his glare.

 

“No I’m not.” Isak tries to argue. He turns away so he can put his attention back on his friends, “What were we talking about, again?” Isak asks, trying to return their conversation, and not focus on Jonas.

 

“Well.” Magnus starts, “if you hadn’t been staring at Jonas.” Magnus goes on before Isak cuts in, “ I wasn’t.”

 

Magnus ignores him, rolling his eyes before he picks his sentence backup, “We were talking about Vilde.”

 

Isak stares silently, he doesn’t want to tell all of Vilde’s business, especially about her terrible boyfriend, but he feels guilty for not telling his friends. 

 

“What about her?” Isak tries to sound interested, but all he wants to do is stare at Jonas until he looks back.

 

“She’s Eva’s roommate.” Magnus tells him, and Isak forces himself to seem surprised, “This Eva?”

 

Magnus nods, “Yes. Isn’t that weird?”

 

Isak nods, “Did Vilde tell you?”

 

“We went back to her place after class, and Eva was there.”

 

Mahdi and Isak both smile at him, “you went back to her dorm?”

 

“Not like that!” Magnus laughs, “We just hung out! And Eva was there the entire time.”

 

“So where is she now?” Mahdi asks, and it sends them all looking around in search of her.

 

“I don’t know.” Magnus says, “She said she’d be here.”

 

Magnus tries not to seem disappointed, but Mahdi and Isak can see it in his face as he tries to hide behind a large sip of alcohol. 

 

“She’ll come.” Isak tries to reassure him, “No one comes this early anyway.”

 

It’s half past eleven, and Isak’s sure no one new is going to arrive, but he isn’t going to tell Magnus that.

 

“She still got a boyfriend?” Mahdi asks.

 

“Yea.” Magnus admits, and Isak can’t help, but look back at Jonas.

 

“You two still fighting?” Mahdi asks when he catches Isak.

 

“No.” Isak answers.

 

“Then why is he over there?” Magnus looks over at where Jonas is talking to Eva.

 

Magnus and Mahdi wait for his answer, but Isak is just as clueless as they are. He begins to come up with something, Even and his friends walk over to them.

 

“Even!” both of his friends greet him, “When did you get here?”

 

“I’ve been here!” Even laughs, he looks uneasy. His eyes keep glancing at the door, and Isak isn't sure why.

 

“This is Noora and Chris.” Even introduces the two girls next to him.

 

“Magnus.”

 

“Mahdi.”

 

“Isak.” He finally says, and the two girls look almost surprised to see him, holding back their smiles when Noora asks, “You’re Roommate-Isak?”

 

Isak tries not to glare at Even when he nods. He knows Even must have told them the same things he told Eva.

 

“Fuck!” Chris suddenly blurts out laughing, “How did you get stuck with Even?”

 

“Jonas.” Even answers for him.

 

“Yousef’s roommate?” Noora asks.

 

Even takes a sip from his bottle,” That’s him.”

 

“So what’s it like living with Even?” Chris looks between them. 

 

Isak laughs, so long and so loud that it makes everyone join in too. 

 

“It’s not like I like living with you either “Even buffs. 

 

“I’m a fucking delight compared to you!”Isak barks out, his laughter loud.

 

“Are you serious?” Even banters back, “Do you know how much noise you make?”

 

“At least I’m not a mess.” Isak argues back.

 

Even laughs, and Isak finds himself smiling back when hears Eva’s laughter follows Jonas’s from across the room. He forgets about his conversation with Even and stares forward.

 

Magnus quickly jumps to his recuse, rambling a story off a story about Isak and Even arguing while Mahdi whispers to him, “Just go over there.” 

 

“No.” He snaps, his eyes finding their way back on Jonas. He’s laughing at something Eva said. Isak bitterly thinks that it couldn’t have been that funny. He grows even more annoyed when he sees his drink still in Jonas’s hand. He promised to come right back with it.

 

“Does it look like he’s flirting?”Isak asks.

 

“Aren’t you friends with her?” Mahdi asks.

 

Isak doesn’t answer, “They’re flirting.”

 

“Just go over there.” Mahdi pushes him, sending him closer out into the floor. 

 

He looks back to argue when Mahdi threatens to push him again. He sees Even eyes follow him as he walks away from them and towards Jonas. He feels almost guilty, but as he moves closer to Eva and Jonas, he forgets about him. He only hears the last bit of their conversation when he reaches them.

 

“Isak! Where have you been?” Jonas laughs when he finally notices him.

 

“I was waiting.” Isak reminds him, “You were supposed to come back with our drinks.”

 

“Shit sorry.” He quickly apologizes, “I was talking to Eva.”

 

Isak turns to look at her, his anger failing to come through when he sees her smiling back at him.

 

“It my fault, Isak.” She says, “I started talking to him and we must have lost track of the time.”

 

“no problem.” Isaks lips pull into a tight lines smile.

 

“here, I got you this.” Jonas finally hands over his drink, the beer’s warm, and the foam’s already saturating into his drink.

 

“thanks.” He takes it, “So what were you guys talking about?” He takes a slow sip waiting for their answer.

 

“Jonas was telling me about some accident in his bio lab.” Eva explains, tell him, Jonas it's really funny. You have to tell Isak.”

 

Isak feels his smile grow tighter, “Yea, tell me, Jonas.”

 

“It won’t be funny the second time. So.” Jonas laughs, easily,”Do you live here?” He asks Eva, looking around. He looks uncomfortable.

 

“No.” She says,“it's Eskild’s, but I’m here all the time.”

 

“Nice.” Jonas says, like he’s run out of the things to say, now that Isak is there.

 

Fortunately, their friends walk over so there’s no chance for silence threatening to come between them 

 

“Congrats!” He hears someone yell from behind. He looks back to find Yousef and his hand coming down on his and Eva’s shoulders. Sana’s next to him with the exact same smile on her face. 

 

“Pretty soon you’re gonna outwin Eva.” Sana teases.

 

“I don’t think so.” Eva laughs, “I’ll have to sabotage you.”

 

Isak laughs, knocking into her, “ We’ll see.”

 

“Fuck!” Eva suddenly jumps, “Did you see Erin? She was so bad.”

 

Isak thinks back to the team’s set, and tries to remember Erin. She’s a freestyle swimmer, but she didn’t even place in the top 5. 

 

“It was so bad!” Eva goes on, “she’s definitely gonna be on prohibition when we come back.”

 

“Just because she lost one game?” Jonas speaks up.

 

“Yea.” Eva answers, “It’s really competitive this year.”

 

“Last year, we had a point guard who spent half the season on the bench because he was terrible in one game.” Yousef adds.

 

“That is why we should supporting college sport teams, it’s exploitation.”

 

Isak’s used to Jonas’s over dramatic anti-organization speeches, but usually it’s just he against Jonas. And Jonas eventually wins after he gets Isak distracted, and ready to say anything that will get Jonas to touch him. 

 

He’s doesn’t bother listing to the conversation that’s happening around him anymore. He’d say something, but they’re surrounded by athletes, so he doesn’t have to.

 

He takes the time to look around. Magnus and Mahdi are still where Isak left them. He’d normally feel bad for ditching them, but they’re talking to a group of girls across the room. His eyes keep scanning, until he finally finds Even. He’s near the back, talking into some girl’s ear. They’re both grinning, standing so close to each other that’s she’s basically hanging off his shoulder. He angrily turns away, trying to avoid the corner they’re standing in. 

 

As Isak continues looking around, he realizes Vilde still hasn’t shown up. She must be with her boyfriend again.

 

When he finally turns back, he’s just in time to hear Sana speak,”So” she begins, “We should just end all sports. And do what? Play video games and read conspiracy theories?”

 

Everyone laughs, so Isak follows, one eye still watching Even. The girl has put her arm around him, and Even isn’t doing anything to stop her. 

 

“You of all people should know that colleges push sport teams just to fill their their own pockets.” Jonas argues, “I mean, just look at how much the school makes and how much do they put back into the programs.”

 

“We did get a brand new rec center.” Yousef reminds them.

 

“That’s how they get you.” Jonas says, “instant gratification. You gotta think bigger, more long term.”

 

Isak’s sure Jonas is saying more, but he’s too distracted watching Even, until he accidentally catches him. His eyes quickly dash away, and he ignores the urge to look back.

 

As it grows later in the night, Isak begins to forget the stress he’s been pushing through the entire week. It finally feels like break. He’s dancing with Jonas in a crowd large enough that it’s spilling into the house’s kitchen. 

 

Jonas is behind him moving his hips, and for once Isak doesn’t feel like he has to think about anything; not even about Even disappearing into a dark hallway with that girl. 

 

His eyes snap opens when there’s a loud shuffle of people, and stomping coming from the living room door. The music’s too loud, but Isak can hear the beginning of a fight just over it. Jonas must hear it too, because he lets go of Isak, head snapping in the direction of the noise. He rushes towards the fight, and Isak has to push through the crowd to stay behind him. 

 

Isak comes through the end it to find everyone standing around in a circle. He immediately sees the top of Even’s head in the middle of the crowd; he’s not alone. It’s then he notices Vilde’s next to him, but doesn’t recognize the man she’s next to. 

 

“When did Vilde get here?” Magnus asks just as he thinks it. He doesn’t know how Magnus and Mahdi got behind him, but he’s glad they’re there. When the room falls silent, he begins to hear the argument.

 

“Let her go!” He hears Even yell.

 

Vilde’s still caught between them.

 

It becomes even quieter when someone manages to to turn the music down, and Isak is able to hear their response, “What are you going to do, if I don’t?”

 

Even pushes forward, his hands curling into fists. Isak knows what he’s capable of, and it’ll be seconds before everyone else knows too. Surprisingly, Jonas jumps out, grabbing onto Even before he can take another step. 

 

“is that her boyfriend?” Magnus asks, and Isak can only nod. “Does she know Even?” Magnus quickly asks next, but Isak doesn’t answer that question;

 

Magnus doesn’t bother asking again when the boy suddenly shifts his attention, focusing on Jonas instead,“You wanna do this again? Last time wasn’t enough.” He smirks.

 

Isak doesn’t take his eyes off either of the boys. He doesn’t know who looks more angry Even or Jonas. 

 

“Why don’t you ask your brother?“ Jonas snaps pack, “How’s his face?”

 

The boy takes another step, like he’s gonna do something this time.

 

Yousef moves from the crowd just in time to get in between then, “We’re not looking for a problem.” He says, “No here. Not now.”

 

They continue to stare each other down until the boy spits out “We were just leaving.” He says, and Vilde gets pulled with him.

 

Isak feels Magnus take a step forward, but he and Mahdi both block him. 

 

“Not with her.” Even speaks out, “Or we can do this here, in front of all these people.”

 

Finally, Vilde speaks, “I’m fine, Even. I can go with William.”

 

“No.” Even says. He doesn’t step down, even when he William stands closer in front of him.

 

“William.” Vilde tries, her voice so low and soft, like she’s frightened if she goes any louder it’ll break. “Please. I don’t want to start anything.”

 

He lets go of her hand, taking a step forward, “This is your only time.” He grits out, “Next time, you won’t be so lucky.” 

 

William looks at Vilde one last time before he pushes forward, knocking into Even and through the crowd. He looks directly at Isak as he makes his way out. He’s not sure if his eyes randomly land on him in the crowd, or if he’s purposely spotting him, like he’s trying to remember what Isak looks like. Either way, this is the first time Isak has been able to see him. Even in the dark cast of the lights, he can tell William is angry. The crowd makes a clear divide, letting him walk through, easily.

 

The door slams and a collective whisper fills the house. It’s silent enough that Isak can hear Even and a group of girls surround Vilde, rushing out of the kitchen, and into one of the bedrooms.

 

“We should leave.” Mahdi says. People have already begun to push their way through the door.

 

“I need to talk to Jonas.” Isak shakes his head, trying to find him. He thinks he sees him standing near Yousef, but the crowd’s messing with his view.

 

“I should go see if Vilde is okay.” Magnus adds in. 

 

“Did you guys not just see that.” Mahdi shouts, “Do you want to end up like Jonas?”

 

“He’s not coming back.” Isak says.

 

He and Magnus look at Mahdi, like they’re asking for permission. 

 

“Fine.” He gives in. 

 

“I’ll be quick.” Isak calms back, quickly walking in the other direction.

 

“Me too.” Magnus rushes out, moving toward the hallways they had all seen Vilde gone through. 

 

He pushes his way through the house, until he finally finds Jonas. 

 

“Are you alright?” Isak asks as soon as he sees him.

 

He’s talking with a group of boys, whispering about things he can’t understand. When they seeIsak, they all go quiet, walking away with a low, “I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“Fine.” Jonas answers him, putting on his jacket, ready to leave.

 

Isak realizes the party seems to be ending, groups of people have already lined up to get out the door. Jonas moves with the crowd, so Isak follows him, “Jonas what was that?” He asks, pushing at Jonas for answer.

 

“Nothing.” Jonas lies.

 

They’re out the door, the night air harsher than he remembers it.

 

“Tell me.” Isak refuses to drop it.

 

“Stay out of it.” Jonas warns, his tone strict, Isak can tell he’s doing his best not to yell,“You’re not getting involved.” Jonas barks.

 

“Tell me, or I will.” Isak tires again.

 

“I can’t” is all he gets out.

 

“Why not?” Isak asks, “I don’t care what you think. I can handle it.” He rushes it all out, trying to keep up with Jonas. He grabs onto his shoulder, forcing Jonas to look at him, “It’s the least you owe me.”

 

Jonas stares at him until a frown takes over his face, “I don’t owe you anything. It’s not like we’re not dating.”  

 

Now it’s Isak that stares. His anger floods through him. He knows that this isn’t the worst thing to happen tonight, and he should probably be considerate, but he can’t. 

 

“Fuck you.” He gets out through gritted teeth.

 

He’s too angry to say anything else. He stomps away, not caring about the scene they’re making anymore. Jonas doesn’t come after him, and Isak doesn’t even care that he doesn’t. 

 

“Is everything alright?” Eva’s voice comes from behind.

 

“Great.” He snaps, but he instantly feels guilty for treating her that way.

 

“I’m sorry-” She begins to apologize when Isak stops her, “What was that?”

 

“Vilde’s boyfriend.” Eva explains, “Even doesn’t like him because of what he does to Vilde, and William doesn’t like him because he’s William.”

 

“And where does Jonas fit into this?”

 

“I don’t know.” She says, “I heard Even and Vilde talking about a fight.” She remembers, “someone beat up William’s brother.

 

“Nicolai? He asks, already knowing the answer.

 

Eva nods. Isak relalizes, it must have been Jonas

 

“So, did he leave?” She asks.

 

Isak shakes his head.

 

“What’s with him?” She asks, quickly following it with a delayed, “and you?”

 

Isak can’t really answer the question, so he says, “I don’t know. We had a thing.”

 

“And now?” Eva looks at him.

 

Isak shrugs, “It’s complicated.”

 

“Oh. You’re probably gonna find this out anyway” Eva begins, “He gave me his number.” 

 

Isak can’t find his words quick enough.

 

“I know you two had a thing, so” She doesn’t bother finishing her sentence.

 

“Okay” is all Isak manages to say.

 

“I’m not gonna text him or anything.” She promises, “I can delete his number if you want me to.”

 

“No.” Isak says, trying not to act like he’s a problem, “It’s fine.”

 

I’m sorry” Isak tells him, and he knows she doesn’t need to apologize, but it’s still comforting to hear.

 

When neither of them can say anything else, Isak sighs, “I think my friends are waiting for me.”

 

Eva nods, “Have a good break.”

 

Isak smiles, walking back towards the house, “You too.”

 

***

 

When Isak wakes up, he notices the dorm halls are nearly empty. Magnus and Mahdi left early in the morning, so he has nowhere to sulk or hide. He stays buried in his sheets, fighting the urge to text Jonas. He’s doesn’t know where Even is, he isn’t even sure if he came back to room at all, but he’s never felt so alone before.

 

When he finally forces himself out of bed, he walks to the library, and spends the day seated at a desk in the back trying to cram three weeks worth of work into eight hours.

 

The sunlight’s gone when Isak finally leaves the library. It’s only Saturday, so the campus is nearly empty. The few kids who have stayed behind are eating in the student union. Isak doesn't want to sit alone, so he walks back to his dorm instead.He’s walking up the brick pathway to his dorm building when his phone sounds. He doesn’t take the first call because he’s too busy trying to get through the door, but when Jonas calls for the second time he finally takes the call. He refuses to speak first, so they both wait in silence until Jonas sighs, “I don’t think we can should this anymore.”

 

Isak remains quiet, he doesn’t know what to say.

 

“All this fighting we’ve been doing is making it seem like you’re looking for something more.” 

 

“And what if I want that?” Isak finally speaks.

 

Jonas exhales, and Isak already knows what he’s going to say, “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I'm just emotionally….unavailable right now.”

 

“Emotionally unavailable?” Isak repeats, louder so Jonas will know how angry he is. He’s really glad no one is around to hear him, especially Even. “What does that even mean.” He yells.

 

“I told you what I wanted. It’s not my fault you’re making it into something more.”

 

Isak knows he doesn’t have much to argue against. They started this conversation back in summer before anything was complicated. At that time, Isak didn’t think he could see himself with Jonas, now he doesn’t want to see Jonas with anyone else.

 

“Is there someone else?” He blurts out, unable to stop himself from asking.

 

“Who else would there be, Isak?” Jonas voices becomes defensive. Isak knows he’s growing annoyed, “Isn’t that the point of not being in an actual relationship?”

 

“So there is?” Isak snaps back.

 

“No, Isak.” Jonas finally answers, “But what if there was.”

 

“I don’t care about that.” Isak lies, masking his voice so Jonas won’t know he is.

 

“Yes, you do.” Jonas stops him, “That’s why” Jonas starts slowly, “I think we should stop, or at least take like a break, or something.”

 

Even though they’re not dating, it feels like a break up, especially with Jonas’s over ambiguous, overly cautious words, tiptoeing around Isak answer.

 

“I just think we don’t want the same things anymore.”

 

Isak doesn’t say anything, not only does he not have a response but he’s scared his voice is going to break.

 

“Did you hear me, Isak?” Jonas asks after moments of nothing.

 

“Yea.” He finally says.

 

“I just don’t want either of us to be disappointed.”

 

“Okay.” Isak finally grits out.

 

“Okay.” Jonas repeats, “Maybe when I get back we can see.”

 

Isak swallows thickly before he speaks, “Okay.”

 

“Okay, then.” Jonas sighs, “I’m gonna go now, but.”

 

Before Jonas can anything else, Isak is ending the call, unable to listen to anything else he has to say. He stares at the blackened screen in the empty lounge until he feels like he’s not going to cry. 

 

There’s tightness sitting in his throat the entire way back up the stairs. He collapses onto his bed as soon as he gets in his room. The worst part is, Isak knows Jonas hasn’t done anything wrong. He told Isak from the start what he wanted, and what he didn’t. Still, Isak had hoped it would eventually turn into something more. Although, after last night, he should have known, Jonas did want more, just not from him. 

 

He feels like an idiot as he buries his face into his pillow, and all of the tears he had pushed back come out. Maybe he's just so overtired or so overworked that it’s making him emoitionall. He’d felt so guilty keeping sleeping with Even a secret, that he didn’t even consider the possibility that it’d be Jonas’s own boredom that end them. 

 

Before he knows it, Isak’s crying and he can’t stop.

 

“Isak.” He hears over his own shuddering. Even’s voice is soft; it’s the same tone he uses when he talks to Vilde.

 

“Leave me alone.”He snaps his usual response at Even, even though he doesn’t mean to.

 

Isak’s sniffling fills the entire room, and Isak can tell that Even isn’t sure what to do until he speaks, “Wanna smoke.”

 

Isak tries to swallow down the lump in his throat. “We can’t do that in here.” 

 

“We’ll plug the door.” Even shrugs, “everyone's gone. Who’s gonna report me?”

 

Isak moves to sit up, thumbing at the corner of his eyes, watching Even pull a cylinder container out. He hasn’t given him an answer, but he watches Even try to fill a blunt on top of one of his textbooks.

 

“Take some of those shirts and stick them under the door.” Even instructs him, busy trying to roll it without tearing the shell.

 

As much as Isak doesn’t want to get up, he does anyway. Listening to Even’s directions, he stuffs three shirts into the small gap between their door and the carpet. He fixes it until he can’t see any of the light coming through. When he looks back at Even, he’s bringing the joint to his lips, licking down the center so the paper will roll easier.  He carefully gets it sealed before he places the joint between lips. His other hand reaches into his pocket. When he lights it, he unlatches the window behind him so the smoke can find its way out.

 

“Do you wanna” Even doesn’t need to finish his sentence, holding his joint out.

 

Isak looks at it with hesitation, “I can’t. drug tests, they’re always random.”

 

Even takes another drag from iit, “It’s fine. They’re looking for hard stuff, not this.” He laughs.

 

Isak still doesn’t take it, but he moves closer.

 

“Yousef smokes, it’s fine.” Even tells him, “if you’re worried, you can always make them inconclusive.”

 

Isak finally gives in moving to sit next to him on the windowsill. He tries not to think about their fingers touching when Isak takes it. When the burning smoke fills into his lungs, he holds his breath.

 

There’s silence as they pass it back and forward. Isak still his sadness sitting inside him, making everything seem slow and heavy.

 

“Do you want me to ask?” Even finally speaks.

 

“Not really.” Isak whispers back.

 

Even doesn’t say anything after that, and Isak’s glad he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to have this conversation, not now and not with Even.

 

He takes the joint back from Isak before he says, “Whatever happens between you and Jonas.” he starts, “it’ll be fine.”

 

He wonders how long Even knew Jonas would be having this conversation with him, and what else he’s said about that.

 

“Thanks.” He mumbles.

 

”I mean it.” Even says, and Isak can feel his eyes on him. 

 

He looks up, and meets them. He doesn’t want to talk about him, and Even seems to understand, but it leaves them in silence. Even’s starring so delicately at Isak that the smoke curls around them like a curtain, a cradle of warmth surrounding the two of them. Isak feels it like a breath over his face.

 

His mouth suddenly feels too dry, but he doesn’t want to look away. Smoke spills from Even’s lips, slowly spreading over Isak. The fragility between them isn't something Isak’s used to. It’s soft and warm, and makes Isak want to lean right into it. He and Even aren’t supposed to have this kind of delicacy that makes Isak blush at, but he flushes with it.

 

It’s like his hands don’t even belong to him; they reach out and take Even’s face, clumsily falling into Even’s lab. As he tries to kiss him, his nose bumps into Even’s. He laughs, watching Even stuff the joint into a ceramic cup. It smolders into its own ash and ember. They’re so close that Isak can see Even’s lips are chapped. He pushes further in Even’s lap, his knees falling on either side of him. The least of the smoke in Even’s mouth filter out against Isak’s lips when he kisses him.

There’s no urgency in it, or anger; just open mouths and tongues sliding together, and the dry taste of weed still in their mouths. Even lets him press further into his lap as he rests back onto his palms. Isak’s hands are on Even’s shoulder, gripping on them as he presses closer. It’s Isak that grinds down first, moving their bodies together. 

Isak makes a noise against Even’s lips when he shifts, holding onto his thighs, so that he can stand up, bringing Isak with him. Isak’s hands instantly close around the back of Even’s neck. With Even gripping his thighs, supporting all his weight, Isak circles his legs around his waist. 

Isak tears his mouth away for a shaky intake of air when his eyes flutter open. Even is staring back at him with a fixed gaze, his lips wet. He walks them back slowly, holding all of Isak’s weight in his palms. Isak’s still kissing him when Even lets him drop on top of his desk, filling the space in between his thighs. Isak feels weightless, hanging off Even, stealing kisses as fast as he can. Even’s hands push through his hair, giving it a sharp tug, pulling Isak’s mouth off of his. He has his neck fully exposed, head tilted back toward the ceiling.  

Isak blinks up at it, as time hangs seems to become suspended for a moment, like a rubber band about to snap in two. And then, Even stops, stepping backwards, letting go of Isak. When Isak glances back down, he sees Even looking back at him, waiting to see what he’ll do.  

Isak feels the daze between them abruptly disappear, and it only makes him feel like the warmth has gone with it. Even’s staring at him in silence, Isak can tell he’s just as confused as himself. Even’s mouth opens like he’s going to say something, but instead  he coughs, and wipes at his lips. Isak’s still sitting on top of his desk, unsure of what he should do, until Even is pulling his own shirt off. He think it may be going further, until he grabs his shower bag. He doesn't say anything else when he leaves the room, and Isak alone.

Isak rushes into bed before the feeling of rejection and loneliness can catch up with him. Strangely, he doesn’t feel as guilty as he thought he would. It’s then Isak realizes, it’s going to happen again.

 

***

 

Even’s up before Isak’s awake, leaving before he even has chance to say anything. There’s still a pile of shirts next to the door, and an ashy mug on top of their dresser. Isak would be upset about the mess if he hadn’t helped make it.

 

He spends every moment of the morning in bed trying not to think about Jonas or Even. He’s texting Magnus and Mahdi when he hears their door open. Even walks in, his headphones are tucked in his ears. His bag sounds loudly, when he slings it off his shoulder,letting it fall to the floor. It’s like he’s trying to get Isak’s attention without having to ask for it. Isak doesn’t look him, locking his eyes on the page.

 

When that doesn’t work, Even falls back on his bed, the wooden frame as much noise as possible. Finally, Isak looks over. Even’s smirking so smoothly, that it’s making Isak blush, “What?”

 

“Are you going to stay in the room all day?” Even asks, his eyebrow raising in question. 

 

Isak hasn’t left his bed all day, but he doesn’t have to explain that to Even. “It’s break.” He reminds him. Isak rolls his eyes. He knows he doesn’t have to answer, with anything else but he does anyway, “And everything’s closed. Even the pool.” 

 

“How would you know? You’ve been in here all day.” He laughs.

 

Isak glares. Even’s being too nice, that it’s startling. It seems like they’re ignoring everything, so Isak goes along with it, “Because everything’s closed!”

 

“It’s not that small of a town.” Even argues.

 

Isak takes a minute before he responds, trying to think of something in the town that wouldn’t be closed for break. Finally, he remembers, “Isn’t there a pool at Fitness Forward.” Isak asks.

 

Even grins drops, looking up at Isak with a stern grimace, “You’re not going there.” His mood has entirely changed.

 

“Why?” Isak questions, even though he already knows. It’s small run down gym, far off from campus, and near the building they fight at. With all the tension between them and William's group, Isak wasn’t considering it until Even told him he couldn’t go.

 

“It’s all the way on the North riverside right.” Isak asks, just to make him mad.

 

“You’re not going.” Even repeats.

 

“You and Jonas go to it all the time.” Isak reminds.

 

“Exactly.” He says.

 

“I don’t need your permission.” Isak argues, “Or Jonas’s.”

 

They're staring at each other, when Even stands, “if you want to do, then let’s go then.”

 

Isak’s surprised. He wasn’t planning on actually going, but now he has to. 

 

“I can go by myself.” Isak glares at him.

 

“They wouldn’t let you in.” Even says, “it’s members only.”

 

Isak knows Even is probably right. He’s sure the gym is unofficially connected to the fighting ring, and with the tension between them and William’s circle, it probably isn’t safe. He’d never admit it, but he’s happy Even’s going with him, even if he has to pretend like nothing’s changed between them. He’s also glad to get out of the room, his sadness seemed to have stayed stuck inside it.

 

It’s a short, silent trip to gym. Isak hasn’t been here in the daylight and it look less scary with the sunlight casting over it. The streets are littered with graffiti and web splattered glass, Isak notices as they make it down the block.

 

It’s a lot quieter than Isak thinks it should be. Nothing, but distant car engines and the rustling wind can be heard. The only signs of civilization he’s come in contact with is the laundromat and the diner two blocks away. When they make it to the building, he notices there’s not even a sign, just a dusty window with peeling calligraphy and a makeshift open sign.  _ Come on in  _ it reads.

 

A bell rings from above when they push past through the screen door. 

 

“Even!” Someone calls out to him as soon as he gets in.

 

Another boy comes up to him, exchanging hand shakes, and a quick hug. Isak’s standing awkwardly to the side of them, waiting for Even to introduce him. When he finally does, Isak learns the other boy’s name is Mikael.

 

“Isak’s gonna use the pool, is that alright?” Even asks.

 

Michael looks at him before he shrugs, “Yea, it’s empty right now.”

 

“Cool.” Even nods like he’d known it would be. He leads them both to the locker, before he looks at Isak, “it’s right out that door.”

 

Isak nods, pulling his bag over his shoulder, “I’m gonna be in the weight room.” He lets Isak know.

 

He turns around beginning to switch into his gym clothes. Isak moves into a stall, putting on his swim gear. Even’s already gone when he makes it out. The cold tile leads him all the way to the pool room. As Mikael said, there’s no one in it. Even if there was, the pool’s big enough that it wouldn’t disrupt him. 

 

The water’s cold when Isak dives in, feeling a little uneasy about being so alone. After four days out of the pool, Isak’s never felt more comforted by the water. He doesn’t practice his laps immediately, he moves around, sinking to the bottom. His mind quiets down, his breathing slows down with it. He’s spent the entire break with his nerves on high because of Jonas. Even is the only thing that feels like calamity. As he focuses on his breathing, feeling the movement of his breaths through him, Isak feel like, he’s not going to explode. 

 

He gasps for air when he swims up, moving onto his back so he can float along the surface. He flaps his arms slowly, dragging himself across the water. A calming silence surrounds him. When he’s had enough, he starts running through his laps. He knows from the last competition, he struggles it the smoothness of his breathing. He rushes for air, more times than he should.  Those few seconds are enough to cost him a win.

 

Isak loses track of how long he’s been practicing the same routine, until he feels it in his shoulders. He loves being in the water, he doesn’t have to think about anything or anyone. All he has to do is glide with the movement of the water. He’s spent hours swimming, but he decides against pushing himself anymore, in fear of pushing himself too far. He pads back to the locker room, with wet feet, plastering every step he takes with a splash. There's still isn’t any one with him as he gets dressed. His hair’s still damp when he walks out, wandering through the halls until he finds himself searching for the weight room.

 

He feels slightly panicked when he finds it empty. He walks on, following the noise. It leads him into a large room, a boxing ring is placed in the middle of it. Even’s moving around the mat, punching a bag hanging over the edge of it. Isak stands near the door frame watching him.

 

“Stop watching me.” Even yells out.

 

Isak instantly drops his gaze, “I’m not.”

 

He catches the small smile on Even’s face just as he looks up. Even walks toward the ropes, leaning over them to look down at Isak.

 

“How was your swim?” Even asks, and Isak can hear the condescending tone in his voice. 

 

He takes a step closer and looks up, “How was punching a sandbag.”

 

Even scoffs, “Harder than you think.”

 

Isak rolls his eyes, not believing that. “Doubt it.”

 

“Do you wanna see.” Even challenges, eyebrows rising as he waits for Isak to join him.

 

Isak stares a him, unsure if he’s being serious. 

 

“What are you waiting for.” Even says, “C’mon.” Even calls him up.

 

He hears Even laugh as he struggles to climb the platform. He feels Even’s eyes on him when he finally makes it up. Even’s sitting on one of the ropes, opening the gap wider so Isak can easily slide in between them.

 

“Come here.”

 

Isak finds himself stepping towards him. Even has his eyes locked on him as he finds his gloves. He takes ahold of Isak hands, slowly wrapping a bandage around his knucles. Next, comes the actual gloves. With the velcro tightened around his wrist, he lets him go. Isak immediately feels the heaviness of the gloves already weighing down on his arms. He clenches his fist trying grow accustomed to the feeling.

 

“Feels weird, doesn’t it?” Even asks.

 

Isak nods, brining his hands up to hit. His first attempt isn’t even enough force to cause the bag to swing. It only moves, slightly. Even laughs from behind him. He hears his footsteps across the matt.

 

“Harder than you thought?” Even asks.

 

Isak huffs, punching the bag again, refusing to admit defeat.

 

“You have to keep you fist curled and pull your elbow further back.” 

 

Isak tries to listen to him, but it doesn’t go any better. 

 

“I’ll be back.” Even says when he realizes Isak isn’t going to do any better. Isak’s left alone in the middle of the ring.

 

“What are those for?” Isak asks as soon as Even steps back out, struggling with the gear in his hands.

 

“Beginners.” He laughs, when he manages to get back in the ring. Isak recognizes he’s holding a pair of strike pads. After he slips them over his hands, he stands back in front of Isak, holding them up.

 

“Go on” Even tells him, “Hit me” and Isak doesn’t need to be told again.

 

Isak thinks his fist comes down against Even’s hard, but Even doesn’t even move.

 

“You’re really bad at this.” Even teases, waiting for Isak to strike again.

 

“Like you could do any better.” Isak mutters back before he has a chance to realize what he’s saying.

 

Even laughs, realizing Isak’s mistake. He claps his hit boars together, and says, “make sure your shoulder is up.”

 

Isak takes a step back, he puts himself into position, but stops, abruptly, “Why are you being so nice to me?” Isak blurts out, “You hate me.”

 

“I don’t hate you.” Even says.

 

“You literally told me that last week.” Isak reminds me.

 

Even doesn’t say anything, but he laughs.

 

“It’s not because of last night when we” Isak starts to say before Even laughs again, “Do you always have to overthink things.”

 

“No, but.” Isak looks at him, trying to argue, “I don’t need you feeling bad for me.” Isak snaps back.

 

“Why would I feel bad?” Even tells him.

 

Isak’s fighting back his smile, “I still hate you.”

 

“I hate you too.” He says, “Maybe I just hate you a little less right now.” Even laughs, lightly, “Is that alright with you?”

 

Isak nods looking down at his gloves.

 

“So, you ready to try this again?” Even asks him.

 

Isak straightens up, and raises his fists. He keeps his shoulders turned when he thrusts his fist forward, punching right into the center of the circle. The impact is hard enough to make Even’s hands jolt back. When he looks at Even, he looks genuinely surprised and impressed.

 

After that, Isak tries again. He doesn’t get better, but at least he’s getting some resistance back from the pads. 

 

“Ready for the bag?” Even eventually asks, knocking off the strike gear, so that he can hold the bag in place.

 

Isak remembers what Even has told him, turning to stare at the punching bag in between them. Even’s staring at him, waiting for him to strike. Isak feels the tension tighten with his jaw.  

 

“Move one step back.” Even instructs, “And then when you swing, step forward.” 

Isak nods, and focuses. He follows it through with Even’s instructions, and his punch is hard enough to get the bag to swing. He brings his second fist around, and Isak actually feels like he’s doing something right. He cheers for himself, his hands thrown up into the air. Even lets out a loud bark of laughter.

 

He lets the bag swing long enough so it doesn’t take much to get it to still.  He lines it up, waiting for Isak to get back into position. Isak focuses, and brings his fists up. He hits it again and again and again. He continues punching, harder with every hit, until the bag is angrily swinging off the chain. 

 

Sweat sticks to Isak’s damp hair, he feels it roll down the side of his face. When he finally stops, his breath is quick and laboured. 

 

He becomes embarrassed when he realizes Even’s standing back, leaning against the ropes watching him.  Isak immediately stops, letting himself wind back down.

 

He feels Even’s eyes on him, but he just can’t look back, “Is that how it always feels?” Isak asks, but he’s not sure what he’s exactly talking about.

 

He doesn’t know what it is, but every time he’s alone with Even, there’s so much pressure between them, he can’t find the right things to say. The words fight their way up his throat, but combust right when they might his lips. 

 

“No.” Even’s still leaning on the boxing ropes, when he answers, “But it can. If you want it to.”

 

He finally finds his way up at Even. His mouth parts, the words disappearing as he gets ready to say them. Silence stretches between them, Isak’s staring at the matt underneath him, until another pair of feet comes into view. Even has taken a step forward, meeting him in the middle. He hears him take a sharp inhale, like he’s trying to restrain himself.

 

“Do you want me to take the gloves off?” Even asks.

 

Isak nods, still glancing down. He moves his hands out towards Even. He gently takes him by the wrists, beginning to unlatch them. After he gets them all off, he lingers ahold of Isak’s hands longer than he needs to.

 

With their fingers laced delicately together, Isak feels the calluses on the pads of Even’s fingertips. Isak feels himself leaning towards him, mouth parting. Then, Even pulls back, ready to go?”

 

Embarrassment burns, and Isak shuts his mouth, nodding his head. 

 

Even waves to Mikael as they leave, driving back towards campus in silence. Even’s sitting at a red light, the clicking sound of the turn signal is making him anxious.

 

“Are you hungry?” Even asks, turning down the street. Isak can see their dorm building down the block their turning down. 

 

Isak shrugs. 

 

“Do you want go to the sub?” Even speaks again 

 

Isak looks around, looking for an excuse, “I don't really want to eat dining Hall food.”

 

Even hums. Isak’s looking the other way out the window, letting the conversation end. When Even misses the exit into their parking lot entrance, Isak looks at him, but Even doesn’t look back. 

 

A slow smile turns up on lips when he says, “didn’t feel like going back to the dorm yet.”

 

Isak finally understand where they’re going when Even drives straight into the town’s square. 

 

“Pizza?” He asks as he parks into the lot next to the parlor.

 

Before Isak can answer, Even’s pushing up his door saying, “Let’s go.”

 

Even has already shut his door and walked forward when Isak rushes to catch up with him. He walks through the door Even has opened for him, entering the pizza place.

 

He’s never been to it before, but it’s popular for students. Depending on who you ask, it either has the best pizza or the worst in town. 

 

They get a booth near the back, sitting across from each other in silence. 

 

The waiter is there right as they sit. Even quickly orders them a large pepperoni pizza.

 

“So.” Even says, refusing to let them sit in silence. He takes a sip of his soda, like he’s trying to figure out something to say, “how long have you been swimming?”he finally comes up with.

 

Isak stirs his drink with a straw, answering, “7 years, I think.”

 

Even nods a couple times, and says, “You’re good at it.”

 

Isak shakes his head in agreement, “Thanks.”

 

The tension eases between them when the pizza gets placed in the middle of their table. They don’t have to talk, they just have to eat. The steams comes up, making the air around them smell like grease and cheese. Isak stomach sounds in anticipation.

 

They each get a piece and Isak hears Even laugh at Isak’s peeling off the pepperoni.

 

“You’re taking off the best part of the pizza.” Even says as he takes a large bite.

 

“The cheese is the best part.” Isak corrects him, “and the best topping.”

 

“That’ boring.” Even teases, “Cheese isn’t even a topping. That’s like saying the sauce is a topping too. ” 

 

“Cheese is a topping.” Isak argues, “that’s why they ask you if you want it.”

 

“Who wouldn’t get cheese on their pizza?” Even says.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak struggles to come with a list, “People who are lactose intolerant.” He begins, “Vegans!”

 

Even makes a face, just thinking of cheese-less pizza makes him disgusted. He reaches over the table and takes a pepperoni from Isak’s plate. 

 

“You’re loss.” Even says, licking the tips of his fingers as he eats them.

 

Isak holds up his naked pizza, taking a large bite. He chews slowly trying to think of something to say. He swallow thickly before says, “why did you start boxing?”

 

Even stares at him, taking a drink before he speaks, “I like the way it makes me feel.”

 

“So you’re a masochist?” Isak laughs.

 

“You only get hurt if you don’t know how to fight.” Even tells him, and Isak feels like slight a slight dig at Jonas. It’s no secret he fights a lot better than his friend.

 

“It’s a lot more than just hitting people. It’s about endurance and defense.”

 

“Then why did you fight Ryle?” Isak asks, remembering the conversation he had with onas. 

 

Even looks up, surprised Isak remembers the fight, much less, his name.

 

“That’s different, that’s business” is all Even says, shifting in his seat. Isak can tell he’s uncomfortable.   

 

“Isn’t all just business.” Isak says. He knows most of the guys who do fight are in it for the money. Jonas might not need it, but the stack of cash Jonas makes from each fight helps bring him back each time.

 

“For some.” Even admits.

 

“For you?” Isak asks.

 

Even’s mouth opens in response when his phone lights up, and rings, ending their conversation. Jonas’s name comes across his screen, and it’s like all the comfortability built between has collapsed. Isak quickly tries to look away and pretend like it means nothing. Even finally answers, moving out of the booth so he can take the call somewhere else. Isak can hear Jonas’s voice when he answers. His eyes search for something else to distract himself with. 

 

Even answers with a ‘what’s up’, walking away quickly, so Isak can’t hear anything else. When Isak’s left alone at the table, he wonders if Even hiding Jonas from him, of if he’s hiding him from Jonas. As soon as Even’s out of sight, Isak reaches for his phone. 

 

‘I think Even took me on a date’, Isak quickly types out, sending it to his group chat with Magnus and Mahdi.

 

He anxiously waits for Even to come back, staring at his phone, watching the bubbles move.

 

“If he pays it’s a date.” Magnus is the first to reply. 

 

“YOU HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL THE THIRD DATE TO PUT OUT’ Mahdi sends next.

 

“Too late” Magnus adds, “#Single-Isak.”

 

“It’s not happening.” Isak quickly types back, refusing to tell his friends that it already almost has.

 

“Hoe life or no life.” Magnus responds with, and  Isak rolls his eyes shutting his phone off right as he sees the line of laughing emojis Mahdi has sent, and the three lines of eggplants Magnus ends their conversation with.  

 

Even drops back into the seat in front of him. He has his phone tucked in his pocket when he looks up at Isak, pretending like he wasn’t just talking to Jonas. Isak stares back at him silence. He wants to ask about Jonas, but he doesn’t to actually be the one to ask. 

 

Even reaches for another slice of pizza, Isak isn’t sure what to say either. They manage to get through another slice before they finally give in and leave. WHen Even pulls his wallet out to pay, Isak realizes it wasn’t Jonas Een was trying to keep secret, it was him.

 

The realization sits heavily with Isak, worsening as he has to sit next to him on their way back to school. He’s grateful for the vibration coming from his phone, giving him something to do other than stare out the window.

 

‘Did he pay’ Mahdi asks.

 

Isak stares at his screen, unsure how to answer the question on it. He ignores it, and the feelings and implications that come with it. He looks over Even, more confused than ever. 

 

He isn’t sure if breaking up with Jonas is making him desperate enough, that he’s actually just rebounding. Or if Even is really trying to start something. He doesn’t know if he’s ready for something to begin, especially when he doesn’t think he’s ready to end what we he has with Jonas.

 

They pull into their dorm parking lot, parking near the back. Finally Even’s turning to looking back at him. 

 

“Thanks.” Isak says.

 

Even shrugs, “It wasn’t as terrible as I thought it’d be.” He teases, trying to ease the discomfort out of the situation.

 

“We can go back to hating each other now.” Isak laughs.

 

Even eyes fall just enough that Isak catches it, “Right.” He mutters, his smile falling loosely on his lips like he’s trying to force it up.

 

Even gets out of the door, Isak quickly doing the same.

 

“I’ll be up.” Isak suddenly announces, “I have to get something from the gym first.”

 

It’s a blatant lie, they both know it, but Isak is too confused to come up with anything better.

 

“Do you want me to walk with you” Isak asks, looking around. It’s dark enough that campuses street lamps have come on. 

 

“THat’s okay.” Isak turns him down. He really needs the time to think, and call his friends.

 

Even nods, turning and walking towards the building. Even has disappeared through the door when Isak starts to make his way through the parking lot. He pulls his phone out, ready to call Mahdi when he hears someone call out to him, “Hey man!”

 

Isak looks up to find that the voice belongs to a young man standing over the front of his car,“Can you help me, the battery in my car’s dead.” He explains with grease on his hands, but a white button up tucked up to his elbows.

 

“I don’t know.” Isak looks at him, he looks down at the opened engine, “I don’t think I’d be much help.” 

 

“Neither I am.” He laughs, “But it won’t take long, I just need someone to press on the gas while I mess with the battery.”

 

Isak contemplates, “Okay.” He finally agrees. He puts his phone back in pockets, promising to call them this after this.

 

“Thanks! You’re making my life so much easier!” He says putting his hands together.

 

“I’m Nicolai by the way.”He introduces himself with a smile. Somewhere in the back of his mind that name means something, but Isak don't make the connection fast enough.

 

“Isak.” He says back.

 

Isak stands there awkwardly as the man grins, looking at him for a few seconds. Isak smiles back, trying not to look scared. He moves aside, busy trying to think of a story to tell Even that doesn’t involve him getting into a stranger’s car. His back turned, so he doesn’t immediately notice the screeching from behind. However he does hear another car door open, but he doesn’t see whoever comes out because they push him against the car hood before he gets the chance. It all happens so fast that Isak almost doesn’t believe it is happening at all

 

His chest hits the metal, knocking all the air from his lungs. He can hear multiple voices, matching the number of hands on either side of him.Their hands grip around his arms, forcing him up. His feet scruff against the concrete, as Isak’s aggressively thrown into one guy’s chest and yanked around.

 

Before he can see their faces, a fist collides with his ribs, and the pain seems to paint everything black. Isak screeches, the pain soaring through him. He can’t find voice, especially when the second hit comes, and he can’t catch his breath.

 

Isak’s limp against their grip, his own feet collapsing underneath him. He’s only up because they haven’t let him collapse. His gaze is fixed on the ground, trying to pull the air back into his lungs before there’s a hand pulling his hair, forcing him to look up.

 

Nicolai’s starrug back, and Isak realizes who he is and how much the boys hate him. His thumb swims across his face, leaving grease streaks over his cheek.

 

“What do you think, Chris.” He says,”think Jonas would be angry if we ruin his face a little bit.” He taunts staring back at Isak.

 

“touch me and I swear Jonas will kill you.” Isak says, impressed at himself that he manages to say it without his voice breaking.

 

The men around laugh, Isak’s threat falling empty. So he tries again, “I’ll tell Even.”

 

This time, it does something. Their smirks fall like they’re scared. Nicolai actually looks threatened. “Tell him” he begins, right in Isak’s face “when he’s ready, tell him 23rd street will always be vacant.”

 

His words are hot in my Isak’s face, and he has no choice but to listen. It is after he speaks that he fists collides with Isak’s left cheek, until there’s blood spilling from an open cut. Isak struggles against his arms. He screams out, except only one scream rips through his throat before a hand covers his mouth, silencing him. In an attempt to get him off, Isak bites his teeth through their flesh. It works, but Isak’s pushes into the concrete in response.

 

He hears multiple car doors slam around, but doesn’t move until he hears them drive off. Pain flushes through him, keeping him on the ground. He can’t breathe, let a lone move. He forces himself to one single text, to Even:  _ help _ .


	5. Homebody

Blood’s dripping all over the front of Isak’s shirt, falling and splattering on the tile of their dorm floor bathroom. He’s sure there’s a trail of red leading all the way back to the parking lot. Even’s told him not to look down, and he isn’t sure if it’s to keep all the blood from spilling onto him, or if he’s scared Isak can’t handle the sight of it.

Even must pull out every paper towel from the holder and stuffs them under Isak’s nose. There’s a cut over his cheek, but Isak’s forgotten it exists compared to all the blood flooding out of him. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen as much blood as he’s seeing now. Everything is red: Isak’s shirt, the napkins, Even’s knuckles. Isak watches it all in front of him. Everything seems out of focus, and all he can focus on his the throbbing pain coming from various points in his body, blending together in a flurry of red.

He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until Even’s thumb swipes under his lower eyelash. Then, it doesn’t matter that he’s crying in front of Even because he can’t get himself to stop. He’s sure anyone left on their dorm floor can probably hear his sobbing from the outside.

The pain’s numbing, dull and subsiding, but he can’t stop crying. Isak can’t breathe, the cries cutting up his throat steal the air, just to force it out in violent sobs. Just when he thinks he’s caught up in his own sons, Even’s hand comes down on his shoulder, heavy enough to stop his shaking.

“Isak.” Even says camly, putting enough weight on his shoulders so Isak can focus.

Isak’s sobs have turned dry, but still rip out of him.

“Breathe.” Even inhales, trying to get Isak to do the same.

Isak takes a quick breath in, holding it for as long as he can. He repeats it, trying to get the trembling to stop. Even has moved his hand so he’s gently, tracing his fingers down Isak’s back in slow, comforting patterns.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Even asks.

Isak shakes his head. He has few scrapes  and bruises, from where he was pushed into concrete or into a fist, but they've only meant to rough him up, to scare him, not to hurt him. They could have done a lot more, Isak knows that; Even knows that too.

“How did it happen? Do you see know who did this?” Even finals asks, scrubbing the back of his hands. His blood turns the water red, swirling down the drain like a violent tornado. Isak can’t take his eyes off of it.

He’s still sitting on the counter, peering down at his own hands. Blood’s cracked over his knuckles, and around the corner of his fingertips. He begins to pick at the edges, at the skin stained with his own blood.

“Isak.” Even’s voice makes it through.

Isak head snaps up, hit with realization that he has to give Even an answer.

“Who did this?” Even asks, directly.

“Nicolai.” Isak tells him, his voice shakes. He’s unsure if he did the right thing.

He watches Even’s jaw lock, and his hand curl tighter around the ceramic sink. He takes a hold of his wrist. He ”Are you sure?”

Isak nods, regretfully.

Even moves fast, stomping toward the door, ready for the worst, but Isak manages to catch him. He knows that if Even wanted to go, he could. Isak’s not strong enough to hold him back, but he gets Even to stay with just one word: “Please.”

Even gets out of his grasp, pacing angrily across the floor. “I knew he was up to something. After Jonas fought Nicolai, and he saw you at the party and the matches.” Even thinks aloud, “I told Jonas to keep you out of this.” Even sounds angry, like all the rage has built up inside of him, and he has to fight against himself to keep it from showing.

Suddenly he spins around, looking at Isak, “What did he say?”

“Nothing.” Isak lies.

Even only has to stare at him a little longer before Isak gives in, “He said.” Isak starts, “to tell you that 23rd street will always be vacant.”

After a moment, Even looks up,“He wants to fight me.” He concludes.

“But Jonas fought him.”

“Jonas’s feud runs through me.” Even explains.

“Because of Vilde.” Isak asks.

Even nods, “because of a few other things too.” Even admits. He laughs, sourly,  “William and I may have gotten in a few fights.” He says, “that he’s never been able to win.” He adds on.

“But  why did Jonas fight Nicolai?” Isak doesn’t seem to understand.

“Nicolai said some things, and Jonas doesn’t have the temper or ego to let things go.” Even shrugs like nothing new is being said.

“Oh.” Isak lets out under his breath.

“You can’t fight him.” Isak speaks again, “It’s what he wants.”

“I know what he’s doing.” Even says.

“Oh.” Isak lets out, staring down at his hands. There’s still a numb pain pulsing through his face. It doesn’t hurt much, if Isak doesn’t think about it.

Neither of them know what to say. Suddenly Even interrupts his own silence, “I gotta call Jonas.”

Isak stares at the tiles as he hears Even’s phone dial out. His breath hitches when Jonas’s voice come through.

“We’ve got a problem.” Even says before anything else.

“Is everything alright?” He can hear Jonas ask.

“It’s Isak” is all Even starts with.

“What about him?”

“Nicolai got to him”

“What happened?”

“They jumped him.” Even says.

 “Is he alright?” Jonas asks.

Even looks up, right at Isak before he answers. “For now.” Even says, “I know Nicolai. This isn’t the end. He’s still mad, Jonas.”

 He can’t hear what Jonas says after that, but by the look on Even’s face, he knows it isn’t good. After that, the conversation turns vague, he knows they’re doing it because Isak’s there.

 “Alright.” Even nods. It seems through the conversation is ending when Even looks up, “Do you wanna talk to him?”

 Isak looks up, it feels like he can’t breathe until he gets an answer, either way he dreads what it will be.

 “Okay.” Even eventually nods, hanging up.

 As much as he wants to be angry, only sadness lurches in him when he realizes Jonas’s answer was no. Of all the pain he’s gone through tonight, this hurts the worst.

 “He had to go.” Even lies, it doesn’t make Isak feel any better.

 Isak shrugs, letting the silence return. They’re still standing in the bathroom, the fluorescent lighting doesn’t make it any less tense.

 “Do you want to talk about it?” Even asks.

 Isak shakes his head.

 “Do you wanna cry?” Even tries again.

 Like before, all Isak does is move his head, letting Even know he doesn’t want to.

 Silence hangs between them, as Even tries to find the right words. Finally, he speaks, “Do you wanna drink?” 

Isak looks up, and this time, he doesn’t say no.

“I don’t have anything on me, but I can go get-” He starts to say when Isak interrupts him, “No!”.

He doesn’t want to be alone, and Even knows it well enough that he doesn’t have to ask him why.

Even’s eyebrows furrow as he nods. He picks his phone back up, and Isak’s not sure what for until he’s pressing it to his ear. He hears another boy on the other end, right before Isak steps out of the bathroom, asking. “Hey man. You’re still in town, right?”

Isak can’t hear the rest of the conversation, but he does listen to the echo the door makes as it closes. He turns around, facing the mirror, looking at himself for the first time. Fading streaks of blood still marks up Isak’s face. Blended through tears, Isak can still see the remnants of black grease under his eye. Can’t standing to be reminded of it, Isak scrubs his face under the faucet, hard enough that it presses on his bruises. Isak would tear his own skin off it meant it would get the blood and grease off any faster.

When Even steps back, Isak’s face is dripping, along with the hair closest to his face. Tears are threatening the corner of his eyes. Isak’s sure he won’t be able to stop them if they start up again.

“Vodka’s okay, right?” Even peeks through the doors, standing halfway in and out of it.

Isak has to slowly inhale, attempting to steady his own voice before he can speak, “Yea.”

He looks around, trying to find something to dry his face off with. Even manages to find a single dry paper towel that doesn't have his blood on it, crumbled near the sink. Isak takes it, but it doesn’t make him feel any better. It’s like the feel of grease and blood is permanently inked across his skin.

By the time the alcohol arrives, they’re back in their dorm. Isak flinches when there’s a knock on their door. Even jumps to get it, his wallet coming out for cash. The large paper bag looks suspicious enough, but Even and his friend don’t seem to care. It’s past midnight, anyone left on their floor is either out for the night, or already asleep.

The clear bottle sits between them on the floor, and Isak has never felt more pathetic.

Even reaches into the bag and pulls out two bottles of gatorade. He has two ceramic mugs in front of them, and pours a shot worth of alcohol in each. He uncaps one bottle of gatorade, before Isak stops him, “I don’t need a chaser.”

 

Even looks at him, like he’s unsure he believes him.

Even reaches forward, only stopping when he sees Isak hasn’t made any effort to do the same, he’s just staring at it.

“We don’t have to drink.” Even reminds him.

Isak continues to stare, “I don’t wanna sit here, and drink in silence.” He says, “I’ll just end up getting really drunk, and really sad.” He says, “And I don’t want to cry anymore.”

“I could turn on some music?” Even suggests.

“I’m don’t wanna listen to Drake.” Isak attempts to joke.

Even Even laughs a little.

“Can we play like a game?” Isak asks.

“A game?” Even laughs, “Are we 15?”

“Please.” Isak says, he’s sure the bruising on his face helps.

“Okay. Yea.” Even gives in, “but I don’t have any coins or cards or whatever else people play with.”

“I don’t wanna play anything like that.” Isak tells him. He thinks for a bit until he comes up with something, “can we just play, like, truth or dare, without the dares. So, it’s like “It’s like truth or drink.’”

Even’s looking at him, waiting for him to explain.

“If I ask you something, and you don’t answer, you have to drink.” Isak begins to explain, “But if you do answer, I have to drink.”

“So, how do I win?” Even asks.

“You have to tell me your secrets.” Isak says.

Even laughs, picking up his mug. He takes it all at once, “I’m not drunk enough for that.”

Isak laughs, the bruising in his face almost makes it hurt to do so.

Even smiles, lips glossy with alcohol, “Lets go then.”

Isak sits up, trying to think something up, “Why didn’t you like me?” Isak asks, “even when you first moved in, you didn’t like me.”

“Wow. Okay.” Even sighs, looking at him in contemplation. Isak watches his eyes fall onto his shot glass, like he’s unsure which one he should take. “When Jonas first introduced you, I just saw you as someone he was with.” He admits, “And he’d tell me everything you’d do.” Even continued, “And then you two were always in the room. And I guess, it got to me.”

Isak nods, breathing out, “He told you?” his voice breaks.

Even immediately looks regretful, “not everything.” Even tries to take it back.

Isak shakes his head, pretending it doesn’t hurt him as much as it does, “Your turn.” He moves on.

Even hums, looking around, “ Why didn’t you go home for break?”

Isak’s mouth suddenly feels too dry. So, he drinks. The alcohol warms all the way down his throat. He has to take it all down at once, or he doesn’t think he’ll be able to keep it down. As soon has he swallows it, Isak face scrunches up.

Even stares at him for a little longer, suspiciously.

“My turn.” Isak slams his cup back down, waiting for Even to refill it.

“Why did you let me think Vilde was your girlfriend?” He asks

Isak glares, “Yes, you did.”

“I never said she was my girlfriend.” Even says.

“Okay.” Isak admits, “but when I said it, you didn’t correct me.” Isak reminds him. 

Even’s mouth opens, his sentence dies midway. Defeatedly, Even drinks, and Isak knows exactly why he doesn't answer. 

“Why are you with Jonas?”

The question catches Isak off guard. He has to swallow the tension knotting up his throat.

Isak shrugs, “it was summer, and there’s never anything to do.” Isak says, “the town gets so empty, it’s like we were the only two left in town.”

Even looks at him, like he doesn’t believe him. They both know Isak’s holding a lot back.

“I thought we were suppose to be spilling our secrets.” Even quotes.

After a long break of silence, Isak sighs. Even knows much of the story anyway, Isak realizes. There’s no secret, at least not with him.

“We met when I had to take macro. It’s such an easy class, and he was so lost in lab, it was funny and he was nice.” Isak stops himself from remembering too much, “And then he was here over the summer. I knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and I wasn’t either. Then, I did. And I thought if could change his mind, he’d want to be with me. Just me.” Isak finishes softly, “But being with Jonas like that was better than not being with him at all or being alone.”

Isak’s a bit embarrassed, unable to look up. He realizes that what he had with Jonas isn’t coming back. He feels foolish knowing that they both know this isn’t as difficult for Jonas as it is for Isak.

“You know this wasn’t your fault.” Even speaks, “Jonas not wanting to be with you.’

“You have to say that.” Isak says, “You have to be nice to me. I got beat up and I’m drunk.”

“Right.” Even laughs, “Well, if it means anything, I think you could do a lot better than Jonas.”

“Thanks.” Isak eventually gets out.

Even shrugs, like it means nothing, but Isak knows that it does.

“So.” He breathes in, “Are you going to fight Nicolai?”

Even stares at him, and reaches forward. He drinks the shot in one single gulp, hissing as he swallows it down.

“Seriously?” Isak  says.

“I drank.” Even sits his glass back down, “I don’t have to answer.”

Isak sighs disappointingly, but doesn’t challenge the rules.

Even watches drips drop to the pool at the bottom of the glass, thinking of his question, “Why didn’t you tell Jonas we slept together?”

“I didn’t want Jonas to get mad.” Isak answers honestly, even if it’s not the answer he knows Even wants to hear, ‘I thought he’s sleep with someone else if he knew I did.”

“Why didn’t you?” Isak asks the same question, “tell Jonas.” He clarifies, “You’re his friend.”

“You told me not to.” Even shrugs.

“But you’re his friend.”

“We’re not good of friends” Even shrugs, laughing to himself. He picks up his shot and drinks it anyway.

“Okay. Last question.” Even ends it, “I don’t think we should drink anymore.” Even looks around.

Isak nods in agreeance.

“That’s gonna hurt in the morning.” Even warns him, moving onto his feet.

“It hurts now.” Isak insists.

He doesn’t expect Even’s hand to come to his face, thumb gently crossing over his check, careful not to touch of his his bruises.

“I’m really sorry this happened.” He apologizes.

“It’s not your fault.” Isak reassures him.

“It is, Isak.” Even reminds him, “And Jonas’s.”

“I don’t blame you. Or Jonas.” He confesses.

“You should.” Even tells him, “being around me or Jonas, it puts you in danger.”

“I can handle it.” Isak says.

Even nods like he believes him. The last time he’s told someone that, it ended in a fight.

“Okay.” Even looks over him, hand falling from his face. “Get some sleep.” He tells him.

Isak nods, not bothering to argue. The night’s been too long to object. When the light shuts off, so does Isak.

***

Like Even said, Isak feels worse in the morning than he did last night. He

spends a lot of his time in bed the next day. There’s a weekend left of break, and Isak’s dreading every hour of them. He’s hungover and hurt; he doesn’t intend on moving for anything.

Neither does Even. He’s right there next to him, pretending to work at his desk, but Isak knows he just doesn’t want to leave him alone. At first, Isak doesn't mind. Comfortable silence sits around them, and Isak finally manages to do some class work.

It isn’t until hours later, when the words start to blur that Isak gives in. He can’t stay in any longer. He’s laying in a bed full of granola crumbs when everything starts to grow uncomfortable. He’s been rustling and shifting into new positions every few minutes that even Even’s becoming annoyed.

Suddenly, he throws the sheets over his legs, jumping up from his bed. Even looks up in confusion,“Where are you going?” He asks when he finds Isak pulling up his shoelaces.

“I can’t stay in this room anymore.” Isak says, “I have to do something.”

Even keeps looking at him, waiting for an answer. “I’m going to do laundry.”

“Now?” Even sits up.

“They’re opened all night.”

Even looks more worried than Isak does.

“I’ll come with you.” He says before Isak can offer an invite.

Isak doesn’t object. He’s glad Even is going to with him.

The only laundromat is across town, close to where the gym is. Isak almost regrets suggesting they go. Yet, he has a full laundry basket of dirty clothes, and an unsettling desire to get out.

They pass the gym on their way to the laundromat. The lights are out, but it still makes Isak nervous to drive by. It seems like the entire town is empty. So, it doesn’t surprise Isak when they find the only person inside the laundromat is the man behind the desk. Yet, after a while, even he disappears into his office, leaving them completely alone.  

Isak empties his entire bag in one washer, and waits. They sit next to a large window. The light from the laundromat is just enough to shine on the streets outside.

“It’s snowing.” Isak says, as he stares out the window. Large flurries have come with the wind, gently falling to the earth. It’s the first of the season, he realizes. It’s the end of November, but Isak didn’t think it’d snow so early.

Even turns to look, and they’re able to see the flakes better. Isak knows it’s not the snow that’s making Even glare up and down the street, it's the gym at the end of the block.

After minutes of silence, Isak gets up. He crams a crumpled dollar bill and loose change into a vending machine, hoping it actually works. When he walks back to the table, Even’s on his phone. Isak pulls apart the package of peanut m&ms, placing it between them.

Even reaches forward, stealing a two blue candies for himself.

“We should go eat.” Even chews, “like real food.” he clarifies.

“I can’t leave.” Isak says, looking down at his washer. It’s still on the first rinse cycle.

“No one’s gonna steal it.” Even laughs, “We’re the only ones here.”

Isak looks around, rolling his eyes. Its nearly 10 on a Saturday night, Isak knows they’ll be the only one here for hours.  “We have to be quick.” He agrees, “And if my clothes get stolen, it’s your fault.”

Even laughs, “Isak, I’m sure all your hoodies and t-shirts will be safe here.”

Isak would argue that his closet is more diverse than that, but Even lives with him, he know it’d be a lie. Also, it's hard for him to argue against it, when he’s wearing exactly what Even’s listed right now.

Even gets up, leading them both to the door. Their hoods are pulled over them before they walk towards the car.

Isak can spot the neon open sign a block away. It’s one of the only places that hasn’t closed down. The restaurant is warm, and smells like soup and fried rice, sheltering them from the winter storm beginning outside. They stand in the dimly lit front end of the shop, waiting for someone to take their order.

Isak can’t help, but remember what his friends told him; Even pays.

“Happy Thanksgiving” the man says to Even as he hands them over their food. Even looks startled by the information. Isak feels the same way. So much has happened that neither of them have had time to think about days or dates. Being with Even has made Isak lose sight of calendar holidays.

“You too.” Even stumbles over his words, still surprised by the realization.

Even still has the look on his face even after they’re standing back outside the laundromat.

 “Is everything alright?” Isak finally asks.

“I promised my mom I’d call her on Thanksgiving.” Even says.

Isak isn’t sure what he should tell him. Isak can’t even remember the last time he talked to his parents. He catches the time on the glowing dashboard and says, “It’s 11: 43. You still have seventeen minutes.”

He doesn’t wait for Even to answer, before exiting the car so Even will he can have his privacy. He notices the smile across Even’s face as he talks into his phone. Isak can’t remember the last time he’s called home, or when he was happy during it 

By the time he comes back in, Isak’s switching his load of clothing from the washer into the dryer. Snowflakes have caught onto Even’s jacket, dusting him in a layer of snow.

“You forgot these.” Even shivers, as he runs into the warmth surrounding them. He has a pair of fortune cookies outstretched between them. The sight of Even, covered in white with red blossoming in his cheeks and fortune cookies in his hands is enough to make Isak laugh.

“Are you laughing at me?” Even takes a step forward.

Isak chuckles again, “You look sort of.” Isak stretches his words, bashful now that Even’s gotten so close, “human.” he finishes.

Even’s laughter is so loud that he nearly scares Isak, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Isak shrugs, “Not so dark and mysterious.”

“Dark and mysterious?” Even repeats.

Isak looks up at him and laughs, “Seriously.” He says, “You box, you start fights at parties.” Isak could go on.

Even’s eyebrow raises waiting for him to continue. “But now.” Isak picks up, “You can’t be intimidating.” Isak chuckles, “you call your mom on holidays.”

“That sounds like a compliment.” Even says.

“It’s a surprise.” Isak says instead.

Even has moved so close that Isak’s pushed back to the machine, blushing under the intensity of Even’s gaze. His smile slowly starts to disappear, “Let's eat.”

The Styrofoam containers steam hotly when they open them.

“Happy Thanksgiving.” Even says, picking up his fork.

Isak laughs, and says it back.

The dryer hums in the background, and the tv from the office can be heard softly playing over it.

“How did you meet Mahdi and Magnus?” Even asks, twirling his form in a pocket of noodles.

“They lived right across from me freshman year.” Isak answers.

“Were they friends before?” Even asks.

“No.” Isak shakes his head, “it was completely random.”

Even nods, chewing on the ends of his fork.

“You know Magnus is totally in love with Vilde, right?” Isak laughs.

Even matches, grinning as he answers, “So is she.”

Isak is surprised

“They broke up.” Even tells him, “You know that right. Vilde and William.”

“Is that why-” Isak starts to say, unable to finish his sentence. He hadn’t known that.

“No, but the only reason I haven’t completely fought the Magnusson brothers is because of her. Now that they’re not together, they probably know there isn't much stopping me.” Even answers with so much honesty Isak doesn’t know how to react.

“You’re not going to do it, through?” He questions, unsure if Even will give him an answer. He hadn’t last time he asked, “Right?”

“You already asked me that.” Even reminds him.

“I know.” Isak waits.

Even smiles, but picks up his drink, slowing sipping from the straw to remind Isak of last night.

When Isak accepts the silence, he moves on, “Why don’t you like him?” Isak blurts out, “I know it has to do with Vilde.” Isak starts to trail off, “but it’s like there’s something more.”

“You ask a lot of questions.” Even tries to laugh, “You know that, right.”

“That’s because I don’t get a lot of answers.” Isak says, softly, hoping sympathy will get more information.

Even lets his cutlery fall, sitting up, and clearing his throat, “He’s the one that got me into boxing. We trained together back home.” Even starts to explain, “ We were friends.”

The information surprises Isak, enough that it makes Even laugh, “I knew Vilde first, and William just came along.”

He chews slowly before he continues telling his story, “We boxed in highschool, nothing serious. His dad is kind of big in gym and underground boxing.”

“Are you serious?” Isak interrupts him, “This sounds like a Nicholas Cage movie or something.”

“Nicholas Cage. Really?” Even stops his entire story to make fun of his cinematic references.

“His movies are cool.” Isak argues.

Even rolls his eyes, but goes on,“I got into a fight, it was bad.” Even tells him.

“Is that why you stopped fighting?”

Even looks surprised that Isak knows that.

“Jonas told me you don’t, anymore.” Isak fills him in.

“Not when I can help it.”

“Then, why do stay in it?”

“It’s not about the fight, it’s the discipline.” Even explains. They’ve already had this conversation, but Even goes on anyway, “I know what I’m capable of.”

“So, when did the fallout start?”

“That fight, the one that got bad,” Even elaborates, “the kid ended up in the hospital. William’s dad took care of it. He paid the family, the hospital bills, everything.”

“So?” Isak waits for more.

“So, after that, I got a reputation, and William’s dad used it. He got me trainers, and gear, it wasn’t bad”

“But.” Isak says for him.

“He wanted me to start throwing fights.” Even explains.

“And you did?”

“It wasn’t a big deal, at first.” Even admits, “I owed him for everything he had done.” Even goes on, “He’d set it up, and I’d lose. It wasn’t until I started losing more than I was winning.”

“Why did he have you lose?” Isak asks.

“Cred.” Even explains, “it was an easy way to build reputations.”

“How did get out?”

“After I fought william. "

“You actually fought him?” Isak can’t believe, “did you fight Nicolai too?”

“Nicolai is more on the administrative side. He doesn’t fight.” Even says, “But William only does it because he wants to impress his dad.”

“Is that why he fought you?”

Even nods, “William wanted me to lose.”

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Is that when you stopped talking?” Isak asks.

“Pretty much.” Even shrugs, “We fought a few times after that, but he fights dirty. And I stopped for Vilde.”

“Now, you know everything.” Even concludes.

“Everything?” Isak questions.

“Everything.” Even confirms.

Isak looks around, the relief of knowing everything makes him feel closer to Even. He picks his fork back, twirling noodles around the prongs.

“I can’t believe it’s Thanksgiving.” Even says, like he doesn’t know what else to,“You don’t have anyone to call?” Even asks, subtly asking about Isak’s family.

He shakes his head, “they’re all probably asleep now, anyway.”

It sounds like an invitation for Isak to talk, to open up, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He looks around, the lights have dimmed, but nothing much has changed. For a while, Isak distracts himself with the snow still falling out the window.

They eat silently, Isak wishes he had to courage to open up just as easily as Even does. The drier rings somewhere in the background, bringing Isak back from his thoughts.

He sighs grumpily when he realizes he’s stuffed so much of clothes into the load that it’s going to take more than one cycle to get them dried. Annoyingly, he pushes more quarters into the machine.

“You know you’re supposed to separate your clothing right?” Even laughs as he watches him, “darks with darks, lights with lights.”

“That’s just a myth.” Isak shuts the dryer door

“And you’re not suppose to over pack the machines.” Even teases.

“It’s faster if you do.” Isak argues back.

“Is it?” Even smirks, glancing back down at Isak’s.

Isak rolls his eyes, leaning back against the dryer,“Mahdi told me it’s like a thing to hook up here.” Isak finds himself saying, looking around. He can’t imagine why it’s so popular. The place is littered in lint, and cobwebs, and lost dryer sheets lay crumpled around the floor.

“And in the bathroom of the pizza place in town, and the back section of the library where the audio books are, and at the old draw bridge.” He lists.

Isak face scrunches up in disgust, “the drawbridge in the woods?”

Even nods, “Yes.”

“Is there any place in this town people don’t have sex on!” Isak laughs.

Even grins, taking a step closer, “Probably this dryer.” his eyes move past Isak to the machine next to him.

“So this is the only dryer that’s safe?” Isak knows where the conversation is going, and doesn’t do anything to stop it.

“It’s a shame, right?” Even’s voice goes lower, “the only dryer in town.”

Even takes a step closer. He scoops him up and hauls him forward, sitting him on top of the dryer. Isak can feel the vibrating movement underneath him. It doesn’t make sense, Even’s sudden rush of lust. Since they hooked up the first time, Even’s kept him at arm’s length. Isak likes that he’s close, that he wants him.

It’s then Isak realizes why so many have had sex in here.

“What if he sees us?” Isak peers around at the office.

“He’s used to it.” Even shrugs it off, kissing up Isak’s neck.

“Even.” Isak whispers, but doesn’t stop him.

He takes a hold his hair, lifting his chin up so warm, wet breath touches his skin and he shivers from it.He pushes closer in between Isak’s legs, guiding them around his waist.

“I wanna make you feel good.” Even speaks softly right into his ear.

Isak moans something that could be agreement, telling Even to go on.

The unzipping of his jeans sounds almost too loud, Isak thinks even the man in the office can hear it. When Even begins to pull his pants down, Isak almost stills.

“I’ve got you.” Even whispers, notching how nervous he seems, “No one’s gonna see you.” He kisses him, and in between, he adds, “No one’s gonna hurt you.”

It feels like a promise, soft and delicate, thinly stretched over them.

The rest of Isak’s clothes come off quickly after that, skin meeting the warm air of the laundromat. It gently shakes them together. With Isak’s help, Even’s shirt meets the floor, and his pants come down to his ankles.

He moans when Even knuckles bush the inside of his thigh, and Even kisses him so the moan can’t echo down the halls.

“Sh. remember.” Even whispers to him, “I’d love to hear all those noises, but were trying not to get caught.”

There’s nothing left for Isak to be embarrassed about. He’s naked on top of the dryer, and he feels too good to regret any of it. He tries to keep Even on him, when he feels him pull away. Even fumbles with his jeans, packets of lubes slowly coming out. Isak doesn’t think he’s ever been more relieved to see them before.

A gentle push moves him back to his original position, sprawled on top of the dryer. Isak nearly chews through his own lip to try to keep his silence when a slick finger is pushed inside of him. And Isak suddenly remembers the last time he and Even were in this position.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about this since that night at the party.” Even whispers, reminding him

Isak squirms, just a little, trying to move in closer to Even. He kisses him deeper, tongue pushing into his mouth.

Isak relaxes into his touch as another finger enters him. He moved down to the edge of the machine, making it easier for Even to reach between his legs.

“Me too.” Isak admits.

“Really?” Even looks at him, and he feels even more bare than before.

Isak nods, “Yea.” He breathes out.

Isak can see a small hint of a  smile hiding the corner of his mouth. He works another finger in, slowly pushing in, making Isak gasp.

Even pulls away, long enough to plant sloppy, open mouthed kisses onto Isak’s neck. Isak has to bury his face into Even’s shoulder to contain all the noises spilling from his mouth. He tightens his legs around Even’s hips, trying to let Even know he’s ready.

He takes one hand off Isak’s hip to hold him up.

“Even.” Isak says one last time before he pushes in.

They move together, slowly bringing their bodies together in full dragging motions.

He’s panting, heavily, spreading his legs wider now that Even is holding him apart. He groans, forehead falling against Even’s as he slips out, and back in. He’s never felt so full, especially with the angle making things so much intimate.

And it only gets better when Even starts moving faster, breath fanning across his face as Even leans closer. Over the sound of their bodies making an obscene slapping noise every time they touch, Isak can hear Even moan, “Isak.”

Then their lips are at each others again, and his name is being pressed back his own mouth. He wants more of this, he thinks, dizzily, and greedily. Even keeps moving, pushing in deeper and deeper, undulating his hips in a deep grind with every single pump forward of his hips. Isak can feel the heat spread between his legs as Even makes him throb with want.

Even comes loudly and quickly, with Isak following after.

“Shh.” Isak reminds him, teasing Even while he’s still inside him.

Even’s laugh is breathy, the sound of the dryer going off scares them both.

Isak’s clothes catch on his sweat, making it more difficult to put on his clothes quickly. Even pushes all of Isak’s clothes back into his laundry basket, letting Isak wait on top of the dryer. Isak looks confused when Even separates a hoodie, handing it to him.

“Your old one kind of got dirty.” Even laughs, crumpling it into a ball.

He pulls it on with heavy limbs, struggling to get it on when Even helps. He feels warm and lazy, not wanting to move from the top of the machine.

Isak’s hoodie’s still warm when they fight through the cold to get back into the building, fresh snow crunching under their feet. He smells like laundry soap, and warmth.

Isak falls into Even’s bed, without any help, “I don’t wanna make my bed.” Isak explains, “I’m sleeping here.”

Even doesn’t protest, instead he looks at Isak, and says, “Move over. 

Isak doesn’t listen, instead he sprawls out, taking over Even’s bed. He feels the mattress dip behind him, and the blanket pull over both of them. Isak’s fully encompassed by Even. He buries his face deeper in the pillow, but sleep is unable to find him. He feels Even’s eyes like a breath on his back, climbing up his skin, falling down his neck. When he finally gives in and turns around, Even is awake.

“What’s gonna happen tomorrow, when everyone comes back?” He says softly.

Even blinks, his fingertips crossing across Isak’s cheek down to his lips.

“What do you want to happen?” Even asks, staring at his lips until, Isak moves them.

“I don’t know.” Isak says softly.

Even’s fingers fall under Isak’s chin, tilting his face up to look at him. Isak swallows harshly. Even’s looking at him so direct that it scares him, just a little. When Isak doesn’t say anything else, Even lets go of his face, “Figure what you need to. And when you decide, tell me.”

He turns over, and Isak’s left contemplating his answer in the dark.

It takes a while before Isak falls asleep, his mind spiraling with thoughts that Isak falls further and further into them.

Isak’s doesn’t stay asleep for long when a loud crack of thunder wakes him up. He can see Even asleep next to him. He can hear the rhythmic breathing he’s softly letting out.

Being with Even for the past week has been everything, but what he expected. Even is funny, and kind. He’s made him forget about Jonas, even when he thought it was going to be impossible.

***

When Monday comes, the campus is full again. Isak has watched the parking lots fill over sunday night. The buildings grow with people, and Isak’s grateful for the distraction.

He’s almost excited to start classes, finding ways to stay out of the dorm, but most importantly, Even.

He has his face buried in a scarf as he makes it across campus.

“Isak.” He hears his name being yelled from across the quad. He looks up just in time to see Magnus running toward him, tucked into a large puffer jacket and red beanie. He’s nearly knocked off his feet when Magnus runs into him. Isak’s picked up and enclosed in a bone crushing hug that makes it seem like he hasn’t seen his friend in years. However, it’s just been a week, and Isak has so much he has to tell them.When Mahdi finally catches up, he’s laughing. Isak’s struggling to get out of Magnus’s grasp, embarrassed by the scene he’s causing.

“How was break?” Mahdi asks.

Magnus giggles, his eyebrows furrowing because he knows what Mahdi’s really hinting at.

“Good.” Isak keeps it short, happy his still face is still buried in his clothing.

Mahdi and Magnus look at Isak in disbelief, like they’re ready for the details. Suddenly, Mahdi reaches forward, pushing Isak’s scarf off his face, “What happened to your face?”

“There’s was some ice on the steps outside the dorm, and I tripped and fell."

“Bullshit.” Mahid calls him out.

“It wasn’t Even.” Isak quickly reassures them.

“Who was it then?” Magnus asks.

Isak takes a long breath in. The winter air’s making everything seem colder. He’s sure no one is listening, but he doesn’t want to tell his friends everything that’s happened in the middle of the quad. Not because he thinks someone will hear, but because he doesn’t know how his friends will react.

He knows they’re impatiently waiting as they get to their dorm so they can finally hear all about it. Isak hasn’t even taken off his coat, before Mahdi’s demanding answers.

“Nicolai.” He finally says.

“Nicolai!” Magnus and Mahdi both shout back at him, “William’s brother.”

Isak nods, “He got back at Jonas and wants to fight Even.” Isak says, “I was just caught in the middle.”

“Are you okay?” Mahdi asks, “Does Even know?”

“Does Jonas?” Magnus follows it up with.

“Even found me. And yes, he does.” Isak answers both of their questions in a single fragment.

“What did he do?” Mahdi asks, not bothering to specify which boy he’s talking about.

“Nothing.” Isak tells them.

“They’re just gonna let him get away with hurting you?” Magnus sounds angry.

“If he fights Nicolai, then it’s just gonna happen again.” Isak says.

“Are you okay?” Mahdi finally asks.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore.” Isak shrugs.

“How are things with Jonas?” The question finally comes 

“He broke up with me. And we haven’t talked since.” Isak shrugs 

“And with Even?”

Isak chews on his lip, unsure where he should start, “I don’t know.” He breathes out.

Mahdi face changes, he looks confused, “What happened?”

“A lot.” Isak tells them.

“Do you like him?” Magnus asks.

“I think so.” Isak repeats, “But I haven’t even talked to Jonas and-”

“Fuck Jonas!” Magnus scrawls, “What happened with Even?”

“We hooked up.” Isak starts off with, getting laughter and high-fives from both of his friends, “And we spent so much time talking and-”

“Fucking.” Magnus interrupts, giggling wildly at his own joke.

Isak rolls his eyes, “Things are different between us now. I think.”

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Mahdi asks.

“We’re not fighting. He’s nice. He-” Isak stops himself from going on.

So, what’s the problem?” Magnus blurts out.

“I don’t know.” Isak yells, “Even told me to figure this out.”

“Figure what out?” Mahdi frowns.

“Me. Jonas.” Isak lists, “Him.”

“I thought you liked him?”

“I think do.” He finally adds, “but what if it’s just because I’m not with Jonas anymore.”

It grows silent from Isak’s confession.

“So.” Magnus breaks it, “you told him you liked him.” He summarizes, “but you’re still trying to be with Jonas.”

“I’m not trying to be with him.” Isak says, “I’m trying to get over him.”

“Are you, though?” Magnus questions.

“Yes!” Isak shouts, “I’m sad, I’m rebounding!”

 “Even’s a rebound?” Mahdi asks.

“No.” Isak quickly answers, “or at least, I don’t think so.” He says a little softer.

“You just can’t be an asshole and string Even along.” Magnus says, “If you’re rebounding, just hook up with one of the soccer boys or someone from Pi Kapp.”

“I’m not stringing him along.” Isak tries to argue.

Mahdi and Magnus both glare at him. Both of them know Isak isn’t being honest.

“I just don’t know.” is all Isak can keep repeating,“It’s-” Isak grows frustrated. His thoughts aren’t articulate; his words don’t come out correctly, and Isak’s unable to fit them in the right places.“He’s Even.” is the best he can do.

“Okay.” Mahdi laughs, ‘“What’s that supposed to mean.”

“He’s basically Jonas.”

The glares come back, not even Isak can believe the lie he’s trying to convince himself of. So, he knows Magnus and Mahdi aren’t either. Even has spent the entire break proving he’s not Jonas, but it’s easier for Isak to believe that he is.

“Maybe not exactly.” Isak takes it back, “but they’re friends, and he’s Even.”

Mahdi looks like he’s going to say something when the door handle churns. The three of them shut their mouths, and turn their heads watching it turn until the door finally opens. Even walks in, even Magnus can’t think of something quick enough.

“Hey.” Isak says softly, acting as if he wasn’t just the topic of their conversation.

“Hey.” Even says back.

Isak glares at his friend, giggling silently.

“How was break?” Magnus smiles widely.

“Good!” He says, “And yours?”

“Eh.” Magnus shrugs, “probably not as good as yours.”

Even laughs, looking at Isak, knowing exactly what he means, “Probably not.” He agrees, making Mahdi and Magnus join in on the laughter, though it feels like it’s at Isak’s expense.

“Even!” Isak blushes, not bothering to specify which one he’s saying it to.

“I have ten minutes to get to class.” Even says, “I’ll see you all later.”

He waves one last time, before he rushes out, looking at Isak one last time. As soon as the door shuts Magnus laughs, “you two are really are a thing.”

“You got all that from one conversation.?” Isak rolls his eyes.

“You’re blushing, Isak!” Magnus teases him.

“I’m not!” Isak fights back, even though he can feel the heat rushing up to his face.

“Seriously, Isak.” Mahdi chuckles out, “What are you gonna do?”

Isak shrugs, “drop out.”

“Me too, man.” Mahdi says, “I didn’t do any work over break. I’m so fucked.”

Isak laughs easily, falling back onto his bed.  

***

Isak eats late in the dining hall that night after he leaves his friends’ dorm. He doesn’t realize it, but he eats as slowly as he can, waiting until the cafeteria doors finally close to leave. He even takes the long way back up to his dorm, stopping when he’s outside his own door.

“Are you gonna go in” He hears from behind him, scaring him enough to make him jump.

He spins around to find Even stepping out of the bathroom, his shower caddy in his hands. He hasn’t showered yet, but he was about to. Isak’s timing couldn’t be any worse. He leans against the door frame, waiting for an answer.

“Yea.” Isak finally says, “I was just-”

“Avoiding me.” Even finishes his sentence for him.

“No.” Isak lies, “It’s just.” He struggles, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Even nods, letting him continue.

“I want to be with you, and I don’t want things to end, but Jonas-”

As soon as he says his name, Even stops him, “I get it. You just broke up with him.”

“I’m sorry.” Isak tries to apologize.

“It’s fine.” Even says sharply, moving past Isak to get in their room, Isak follows him in.

“Jonas came looking for you.”

“He did?” Isak says too quickly.

“Yep.” Even’s voice is harsh.

“Okay.” Isak’s throat feels tight. He can practically feel Even’s eyes on him.

“Did he say anything?” Isak hates himself for asking, but he can’t stop himself.

Even drops into his bed, “Ask him yourself.”

Isak gets the hint. He knows Even is upset, but he doesn’t feel like he could do anything to make it better.

“Even.” Isak starts, before Even turns around, brushing past him as he storms out, “I left the shower on.”

The door slams and Isak thinks the entire room shakes from it. There’s so much he wants to tell Even besides that, but he doesn’t even know where to start.

Even’s right, he has to figure it out.

***

Isak doesn’t know if it’s good thing or not that Jonas doesn’t show up at their door again. When he finally sees Jonas, they’re walking towards each other. There’s nowhere to hide, or turn away to; he’s unavoidable. Isak isn’t planning on even looking back at Jonas until he sees him take an earphone out, moving closer to the side Isak’s walking on.

“Hey.” Jonas comes up to him.

“Hey.” Isak says back.

“Can we talk.” Jonas asks, “about everything.”

Isak looks around. He feels like every eye is on him, but its just Jonas’s.

“I can’t.” Isak says, “I’m busy.”

“Isak.” Jonas says.

He looks around, wanting to say no, but he finds himself nodding instead.  He follows closely behind Jonas. There was a snowstorm the night before, so the pavement has gone grey from all the snow boots stomping over it. Isak has on so many layers, that the it feels like the cold doesn't reach him, until he’s seated in front of Jonas in the back of the school’s coffee shop.

“So.” Jonas sits up, breaking the silence. He’s wrapped up in a large jumper, all his hair tucked under a cap with their school’s emblem sewed on the front of it.

“How are you?” Jonas sighs like it’s painful to say. He scoots back in his chair, and presses his glasses further up his nose.

Isak looks at him in disbelief. He’d get up and leave if he could.

“Are you okay?” Jonas asks next when Isak says nothing.

“Great.” He grits out.

“I didn’t know Nicolai would do that.” He says, “I’m sorry.” He adds,”for everything.”

Isak finally looks at him, “Did you ever want to be with me?”

“I wanted to be with you, Isak. I just don’t want to be in a relationship.”

Isak rolls his eyes. He wanted to yell at Jonas, and let him know how selfish and cliche that actually is, but he can’t.

“Was is it something I did?” Isak manages to get out.

Jonas looks around, clearly embarrassed by the question, “You didn’t do anything.” He finally assures him.

“Was it me?” He asks, his voice is softer, “Was I not good?

“No.” Jonas leans forward. It almost looks like he’s going to reach out and comfort, but Jonas’s hands stay clasped, and Isak’s still sitting as far away from him as possible, “I just don’t want you like that.” Jonas says, “right now.” He adds, but Isak knows he’s just saying that so it doesn’t hurt as badly.

Isak nods, looking everywhere, but at Jonas.

“I’m sorry.” Jonas tries to apologize again. Isak can’t really bear to look or listen to him anymore. He nearly trips over his own feet trying to get out of the building as fast as he can. The tears nearly freeze under his eyes, as he runs through campus, the winds cutting up his face.

He collapses onto his bed. He buries his face into his sheets, his throat is so heavy he doesn’t think he’ll ever let enough of it out. Being with Jonas was never anything serious, but it burns right through him knowing it meant even less to Jonas. It should hurt less than it does, less than he knows it should. Yet, he feels so fucking pathetic.

The feeling sinks further in him when he hears the door opens. He tries to cover his sobs, but they force they’re way out.

“What happened?” Even asks. Isak can feel the spot in the bed where Even’s sitting beside him.

Isak doesn’t answer him. They haven’t talked, but that doesn’t seem to matter now.

“I’m so tired of feeling hopeless all the time.” Isak whispers, a tear escaping.

“Get up.” Even moves off the bed.

“I can’t.” Isak whines.

Isak doesn’t look at him, but he can hear him rummaging around the room. He hears Even’s car keys, and knows Even isn’t messing around.

“Lets go.” Even says one last time. It takes everything in him to get up.

Isak sniffles don’t stop, even when they’re driving off campus. Even makes sure the volume is tuned higher on the radio, loud enough so Isak doesn’t have to feel embarrassed. They’re into the residential area when Even clicks the radio off.

He parks the car outside of an empty park., “Ready?” Even asks, looking over at him.

“For what?” Isak asks him.

Even opens the door, Isak knows his answer isn’t going to be an easy one.

The grass is wet. All the snow has melted, but it doesn’t make it any less cold. Isak has one three layers, and he’s still shaking. Isak peers around, the only sound coming from the gym bag Even let's fall off his shoulders. Isak recognizes the boxing gloves he pulls out. He moves toward Isak, and immediately Isak puts his hands out.

They feel just as heavy and strange as they did when he first tried them on.

“Why did you bring me out here?” Isak asks, as he’s watching Even tie up his laces.

”You said you were tired of being helpless.”

“What is this?” Isak doesn’t understand.

“Step one.” Even tells him, “You have to fight back.”

When he finishes, Even takes a step backwards, “Look at me.” Even says, “We are in control in whether we stay the victim or not. It’s all a mentality; it’s all a choice.” Even finishes.

He has strike pads over his right palms.

“You’re gonna get hit.” Even says, “No matter how much you train or how good you are, you’re gonna get hit; pain is inevitable.”

He looks back at Isak to make sure he’s listening, “So.” Even breathes, “we anticipate it, we prepare for it, to condition ourselves to be stronger than it, so it doesn’t consume us.” Even continues, “So it doesn’t become us.”

Isak nods, listening to Even silently, “We always have a choice, to be helpless or to fight back.”

Isak runs his hands over, eyes drooping on his gloves. Even’s words hit him hard.

“Do remember that move I showed you?” He asks.

Isak nods, “Elbow back.”

“Right.”Even nods.

Isak takes a step, so his feet are apart. He lurches forward into the move. His punch isn’t strong, but it’s decent enough that Isak doesn’t feel bad.”

“Don’t curl you hand when you throw. Keep it straight.” Even says.

Isak tries again, more strength coming from him. He hits as hard as he can, and manges to make Even stumble.

“Good.” Even tells him, “again.”

Isak tires the move again, and again, until his shoulder starts to hurt. It feels good to focus on nothing, but the sound of Isak’s glove crashing with the pad.

“Okay.” Even stops him.

Isak breathes heavily, taking off his coat when he feels too warm. He still has on two layers so he doesn’t worry about too cold. Even looks worried more about it then Isak does, and Even’s not even wearing a jacket.

“So this is an uppercut.” Even begins, “you usually use it after a hook because you have to be really close to you opponent for it to work.”

Even takes a step forward, and starts to instruct him, “So when you hit, your arm comes in at an upward angle toward who you’re trying to hit.”

Isak tries to visualize it, but doesn’t understand it until Even does it himself. Even’s movements seem so smooth that Isak can’t tell exactly what he’s doing; he’s seamless.

Isak’s first attempt nearly makes him fall over onto himself. He feels clumsy, like his limbs are too heavy for his body.

“Don’t lean back or hop with your legs. Stay planted.” Even advises him.

Isak’s eager to try again. His second attempt doesn’t go any better, or his third. He pushes himself too much further, letting himself fall too easily.

Even catches him right before he dives into the concrete. Isak’s clearly frustrated.

“It’s alright.” Even tells him, “it’s a hard move. Wanna learn something else.”

Isak nods, defeatedly.

“Something a little easier to do is a cross.” Even moves on, “It’s just a straightforward punch that starts from your chin.”

Even’s strike pads come up, leveled with Isak’s chin., “So when you throw, your shoulder comes closer to your face when you turn into it.”

It’s an easy move, Isak learns. It’s also quite powerful, Isak punches the pad so roughly, he feels the anger smashing into it. He throws punches until it hurts to breathe.

He collapses down into concrete, completely out of breath. Laying on his back, he stares aimlessly above him at the sky.

“This is where I come.” Even speaks, “When everything gets too much and I need to focus.”

“Here?” Isak looks around. He sits up, so he can look out at Even, “it’s kind of creepy.”

“it’s quiet.” Even laughs, “The silence, it helps me figure things out when life gets too loud.”

Isak swallows thickly, “Does it help?

“Yea.” Even says, “sometimes, it’s good to just take a step back. Like looking at your life at an aerial view.”

Isak’s quiet for a long time, until he admits, “I don’t know . After everything with Jonas-

“I’m not Jonas.” Even interrupts him. “I’m not into complications, and pretending I’m not ready for relationships.”

Isak nearly flinches at the word.

“I like you, Isak.” Even says.

Isak blinks, slowly, “really?”

Even laughs, “Isn’t it obvious?”

“No!” Isak laughs back, “You hated me.”

“You hated me!” Even reminds him.

“But-” Isak doesn’t understand.

“We’ve slept together twice.” Even reminds him, “Don’t you think that means something."

Isak’s been with Jonas long enough that he hadn’t realized sex can actually mean  something.

“I thought we were just hooking up.” Isak admits, “You never said anything.” Isak tells him, “even after that night at the party, and you stopped me when I kissed you when we got high!”

“You were high, and someone has to say no to.”

“I know.” Isak sits up, he swears he’s had this exact relationship with his friends.

Even looks at him in disbelief. He’s starting to sound like his Mahdi.

“You say no to me all the time.” Isak says, thinking of all the times that could have happened between them, but hasn’t.

“Someone needs to.”

“It doesn’t have to be you.”

“I know it doesn’t,” Even says, “but you can’t just.” Even starts before he stops to rephrase, “I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me because you want to. Not because you’re sad or lonely or high.”

“I do too.” Isak promises, “I think. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Isak isn’t sure of anything. Being with Even for an entire week has changed so much between them. He likes Even so much, more than he ever though he would. Even is honest, and so direct that Even feels like he’s staring at lighthouse every time he looks at him.

“It’s okay.” Even smiles, slowly, “We can go slow.”

“Slow.” Isak nods, smiling back.

“Slow.” Even repeats, closing the space between.

He kisses him, cupping his face in his hands, and Isak swears everything becomes clearer.

***

“Isak!” He hears his name yelled across campus.

He turns around to see Eva smiling and walking towards him.

She hugs him tightly, and through several layers of clothing, “How was your break?”

“Long!” He smiles back, “The town gets so empty when everyone's gone.”

Eva laughs, “And how was Even?”

“We’re both still alive.”

“I’m surprised!” She jokes, “I was so that we’d come back, and you two would have killed each other.”

“Me too.” He chuckles through a yawn.

“Didn't sleep much during break?” She winks, nudging him a bit.

“Even took me out boxing last night.” He tells her.

“What?” Eva’s laughter is loud, “Is that, like, code for something.”

“NO.” He shrikes, “Boxing.” He repeats, “like with gloves and everything.”

“Okay.” Eva smirks, “why? It was thursday.”

“Jonas and I are over.”

“I know.” Eva’s face softens, as she puts a hand on his shoulder, “And I know Even was right there to get you through it too.”

”It just happened.” Isak confesses.

“Good.” Eva smiles, putting her arm around his shoulder, “Even’s better for you anyway.’

“Well.” Isak tries to move on, “I’m ready for everything to go back to normal.”

Eva laughs, “but I’m not ready for practice. I haven’t swam since we left.”

“Eva!” Isak scolds.

“Like you had any time to.” She teases back, “Especially with all that free time you had with Even.”

Isak would blush, but it’s too cold for the blood to rush anywhere. Instead, he rolls his eyes, neither admitting or denying anything she’s suggesting.

“I see you, Isak!” She smirks, “I know what you did!”

She continues laughing, even when Isak nudges into her with his shoulder.

“We need to get to practice.” Isak tries to move in.

Eva smirks, before sighing, “I hate this part of season.” Eva admits, “It’s too cold to swim!”

“It’s suppose to snow again on friday too.” Isak says.

“Are you serious?” Eva groans, “We should ditch practice. I’m not ready to go back!”

“We can’t.” Isak reminds her. Their attendance policy is strict, and Isak can’t do anything to jeopardize his scholarship.

Eva groans again, “Why can’t the semester be over already?”

Isak laughs in agreement.

***

Isak isn't sure how he let his friends into coming to another swim party. After the last one, Isak had sworn he was never returning. But it’s the first weekend back, and Isak doesn’t have anything better to do, and Even’s going as well. They haven’t said anything more about their relationship since that night at the park, but Isak doesn't think anything else needs to be said.

He’s sandwiched in between Mahdi and Magnus on the living room sofa, halfway in their conversation, paying just enough attention to know what they’re talking about.

“Isak! Hello!” Mahdi waves his hands in his face, “Are you even listening?”

“Yea.” Isak lies. Even’s across the room, and the two of them haven’t been able to take their eyes off one another.

“So, you agree?” Mahdi tests him.

“Yea.” Isak repeats, feeling Even’s eyes waiting for im to return the look.

“That’s not fair!” Magnus suddenly yells, “He wasn’t even listening, it doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does!” Mahdi argues back, “That’s two against one. You have to stop calling us the M&M dorm.”

“No!” Magnus refuses, “Vilde likes it too.”

“Of course.” Mahdi grins, “Vilde.”

Magnus blushes, looking around.

“Where is she?” Mahdi looks around too, “probably with William.” He adds making a face.

“No.” Isak says, “they broke up.”

“What?” his friends yell in unison.

“You didn’t know?” Isak seems confused.

“No!” Magnus says first, “What the fuck, Isak! Why didn’t you tell me this sooner.”

“I thought you knew.”

“Who told you?” Magnus asks.

“Even.”

Magnus face pulls into a grin. He takes a sip of his beer, “Okay. Cool”

“So, when are you gonna go talk to him.” Mahdi says, “Are you two just going to keep staring at each other all night.”

A blush creeps up Isak’s face, “We’re not.”

Yet, he can’t lie. Anyone paying attention to either of them can clearly see what’s going on. Every time he’s looked up, he’s meet with the same piercing eyes, smiling right back at him.

“Go over to him.” Mahdi can’t take the looks or the smiles anymore, and pushes Isak forward, in Even’s direction.

“I can’t.” Isak snaps back, “We just got together. We’re taking it slow.”

Magnus snorts, behind his beer, “You two have already hooked up like a hundred times. There’s nothing to take slow.”

“It’s not like that anymore.” Isak tells his friends, “And I don’t wanna look desperate!”

“Desperate.” Mahdi laughs, “you two have hooked up everyday since break,and now you’re not.” he reminds him, “It doesn’t work that way. You are desperate.”

Isak hears Magnus snickers behind them, and looks back to glare at him.

“We didn’t hook up everyday.” Isak argues.

“Stop acting like high schoolers.” Mahdi rolls his eyes, giving Isak another push, “Go talk to him!”

Before Isak can make the first move, Even has begun to walk forward.

“Magnus! Mahdi” Even hugs them both, slowly tuning to look at Isak. A smile spreads across Isak’s face, and then across Even’s.

“Even!”

The three of them share, drunk friendly hugs.

They stand awardly around one other before Mahdi and Magnus share a look. Isak knows they’re looking for a way to leave.

“We’re were just gonna.” Mahdi starts, the two of them already have begun to back away, “Go.” Mahdi finishes as they dash away leaving Isak completely alone with Even.

“Are you avoiding me?” Even laughs taking a step forward.

“I thought you didn’t want to be one of those people who only hang out with each other at parties.” Isak reminds him.

“Changed my mind.” He says simply, taking a sip of his beer, straight out the can.

“You’re more fun to be around anyway.”

Isak smiles so hard his cheeks start to hurt, “are you trying to flirt with me?”

“Trying?” Even repeats, “I am.”

“You’re not doing that good.” Isak teases.

“Even!” He sequels, just as he puts his hands around him, locking him into his chest.

“I don’t have to be. I already know your coming back with me.” Even teases.

He’s giggling into Even’s chest when he hears someone loudly clear their throat. Isak and Even tear away finding Vilde staring at them.

“Hi” Vilde smiles, a mouth full of teeth and gum, “Can I talk to you, Isak?”

“Me?” Isak asks Even.

“Go ahead.” Even lets him go, “I’ll be back.” He says, walking backwards until he’s in the kitchen.

Vide’s still smiling widely. Isak feels awkwardly standing there without Even; it’s the first time they’ve ever properly talked.

“Vilde, right?” Isak greets back.

“Isak.” She nods.

“I wanted to apologize.” She begins.

Isak’s confused, but he waits for her to continue.

“Even’s my best friend, he’d do anything for me.” She continues, “Even if it involves William. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I’m sorry.”

She looks like she’s going to cry, so Isak quickly speaks, “It’s nothing. I’m fine, really. It wasn’t your fault”

“Are you okay?” Isak asks.

“I’m not with him anymore.” She says, “William.”

“Good.” Isak says. He’s never talked to Vilde this long, and doesn’t know what else to say, but she looks sad, so he awkwardly puts his arm around her. “Don’t tell him I told you this.” Isak starts, “But Magnus has had a huge crush on you since the beginning of the semester.”

Vilde laughs, “Really?”

Isak looks at her surprisingly, “You can’t tell?”

“He’s a good friend.” She says.

“Yea.” Isak nods, “He’s there anytime you need him.

Vilde’s smile widens, “Like Even.”

Isak knows she’s doing the what Isak just did to her. “Yea.” He says simply.

“C’mon Isak.” She says, “I know.” She hints at, “about you two.”

“Yea.” is all Isak can say, his face blushing red.

“Isak, just make sure he’s okay. I haven’t seen him this happy in a while.” Vilde tells him.

Isak wants to ask her what she means when Even comes back over.

“Everything okay?” He asks when notices their conversation has ended.

“Great!” Vilde smiles.

Even looks super suspiciously over at Isak for an explanation.

“Yea. What she said.” He adds.

Even take a sip of his beer, “Where have you been all night?” Even asks her.

“Eskild.” Vilde says, and they all know exactly what she means. Uddeny sh jumps like his name has reminded her of something, “I forgot, I was suppose to tell him something.”

Sh rushes past him, pushing through the crowd of people in search of Eskild. Even turns to Isak and laughs.

“What was that about?” Even turns to Isak, waiting for him to explain.

“I don’t know. She just came up to me and started apologizing for william and his brother.” Isak tells him.

“That’s all she said?” Even asks, knowing Vilde well enough to know that she said more than that.

Isak looks around and smiles, feeling Even’s fingers on the back of his neck, “She said, that this was the happiest she’s seen you.”

“What?” Even laughs, “She said that?” He looks almost embarrassed.

Isak nods, moving closer into him. Even’s finger has started to wrap into the small curls. He starts to lean forward when someone else drops onto their laps.

“Eskild.” Even laughs as he starts to move so he’s laying over them.

“You two have gotten close.” Eskild smirks.

“Eskild, you’re heavy.” Isak whines.

He snaps back to look at him, and makes a face, “Even’s heavier than me, and I'm sure you can handle getting squished by him!”

“Eskild!” Isak gasps, while Even laughs along with him. He pushes Eskild off of him, so he has to roll onto his feet so he doesn’t land on the floor.

“You’re such a brat, Isak.” Eskild rolls his eyes, “even when you get dick.”

Isak blushes, hiding his face into Even’s shoulder.

“I think Vilde is looking for you.”He can hear Even say.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Eskild gasps in faux-exasperation, “at my own party. In my own house.”

He feels the vibration from Even’s laughter, “I’m serious.”

“Fine.” Eskild sighs, “I’m leaving.”

He gets up, dramatically stomping away, finally leaving them alone.

“We need fewer friends.” Isak sighs, waiting for the next interruption to break them apart.

“Do you just wanna get out of here?”

Isak looks around, the party isn’t even halfway over. They haven’t even been there for an hour.

“We could go home. alone” Even suggests, his hand moving to the tail of Isak’s shirt.

“We just got here.” Isak reminds him.

“It’ll be a lot more fun.” Even tries to persuade him, “I promise.”

Even’s fingertips graze Isak’s back, and he nearly jumps up and runs out the door.

“Fuck it.” Isak mutters under his breath, letting Even pull him out the house.

Music and party crowds sound in the background, growing fainter as they get closer to campus. They’re walking back to the dorms, so close that their hands keep hovering. Isak feels a rush everytime they touch. It’s just the light touch of their knuckles grazing each other, but it makes Isak smile every time it happens, because he knows Even’s moving closer so it happens more often. Finally, Even finally takes his hand. He interlaces their fingers, so their palms are pressed together.

Isak can feel Even’s breath coming down on his neck from behind as he watches him open their door. Even has his hands on hips before they even make it in. Even’s shuts the door by pushing Isak back against it, kissing him before he can complain.

“I thought we were taking this slow?” Isak reminds him, not caring about their rules anymore.

Even runs against his mouth, Fuck that.” He whispers, pressing Isak harder into wall, kissing deeper into his mouth.

“Even!” Isak shrieks, right back into Even’s lips, “your hands are fucking cold.”

“That’s why I’m trying warm them up.” He laughs, continuing to push them under Isak’s sweatshirt.

His cold fingertips graze down his chest, instantly warming through touch. He pulls Isak back into his chest, bringing them closer together, close enough that Even can slot his thigh in between Isak’s.

Even’s hands are slightly warmer when they come up, cupping Isak’s face, so Isak can’t do anything, but kiss him. With lips lush wet through smacking sounds, Even moves them backwards, until Isak falls backwards onto the mattress.

“You’re in my bed.” Even looks satisfied, peering down at Isak.

Isak scrambles to move onto his elbows,“What are you gonna do about it?” He teases.

Even’s smile grows wider. He surges forward, climbing onto Isak,“Do you want me to tell you?” Even breathes out, his face so close to Isak’s, his nose pressed against him.

Isak looks up, “Yea.”

Even grin flashes, lifting himself up onto his hands before he says, “There's so many things I want to do to you.” Even whispers, “Right now.” He leans down even closer, his breath hot in Isak’s ear, “I kind of want you to sit on my face.”

Isak’s entire body blushes, “Is that-” Isak stops himself, unable to catch his own breath, “Are you sure?”

Isak looks up at him,when Even pressed his lips to Isaks, “Fuck, yes.”

Even pulls Isak on top of when he rolls over to lay on his back. He’s propped up by a few pillows with Isak patiently waiting on his hips.

“Can’t exactly ride my face with your clothes on.” Even laughs, tugging lightly on Isak’s jumper.

Isak squeals stays deep in his throat, his face burning with the blood rush. He starts with the sweatshirt, easily pulling it over his head, letting it fall off the bed with no care for where it lands. Getting off his shorts is a little harder. Even’s had to help pull them down, when they tangle around his ankles, making him bend awkwardly so they'll come off. Isak’s left in his underwear, the warm hair keeping him from .

Even curls one finger inside his boxers, looking up at Isak as he pulls them down, until there’s nothing but a few inches of skin separating the two of them. Isak feels more comfortable than he thought would did, sitting on top of Even completely nude while Even is still fully dressed. It helps that Even has a warm hand sitting on his thigh, drawing patterns into his inner thigh.

“My face is up here.” Even uses a finger to point, nudging Isak forward by his hips.

He moves slowly, anxiety flooding through him as the distance lessens. Isak’s never done this before, he’s unsure if he’s doing it right. Even must be able to read exactly what Isak’s thinking. He waits until Isak’s directly above his mouth, knees on either side of his shoulders, before he puts his hands over his thighs, bringing Isak down and closer to his mouth.

All the awkwardness and tension Isak had coiled himself into, immediately disappears when Even’s tongue makes its first touch. All the nervousness and embarrassment, doesn’t compare to it, nothing does. He does his best to hold his weight, holding himself up by the metal bedpost, so he’s not falling into Even’s face.

Even starts, gently, sucking at Isak’s inner thigh moving closer until there’s no skin left. Then, Even’s spreading Isak’s cheeks apart, and immediately burying his face in between them, licking at his hole long and flat. Isak almost collapses, overwhelmed with the warmth spreading up him. He moans loudly, as Even tries to hold him still, fingers pressing into his hips. He moans again when Even’s nose bumps into him, his tongue reaching deeper. Isak can’t control the noises coming from his mouth. They grow louder, longer, until Isak’s mouth is unable to close.

He pushes his hips back into Evens mouth, Even’s tongue automatically licking right over his hole. He points his tongue and circles around Isak before he pushes it in firmly. He moves his tongue in and out of Isak, slowly licking and lapping into Isak’s heat.

Isak feels dizzy, like heat coiling inside him is making him melt, softening the world around him. The feeling sorches up his thighs, flooding inside him uncontrollably that Isak attempts to squeeze his thighs together, but they’re held apart by Even’s shoulders.  

“Do you even know.” Even speaks, his breath right over Isak, “How good you look.” He continues, his thumb is spreading wetness all around Isak’s hole. He can’t help, but shiver. “Or how good you taste.” He adds, before his mouth and tongue and teeth are over his rim, inside of him, all over the most sensitive part of him.  

“You should see yourself,” Even says, his voice vibrating against Isaks skin. His hands push his cheeks up and apart exposing him to the coldness of the room.

"Even." Isak breathes out, feeling his body shaking with pleasure, struggling to find the strength to keep holding himself up over Even’s face.

“I’ve been thinking about this since the first time we hooked up. You in that skirt.” Even remembers aloud, his tongue flicking over him, trying to shove inside.

His tongue swirled in lazy circles around the ring of muscle before teasingly pushing almost into him.Even’s using so much saliva, that Isak feels so fucking wet, and he cant help, but push back against his face. The slurping sound of wet sucking is loud in Isak’s ears.  Each stoke makes him writhe and moan so brokenly, and high pitched.

“Wait.” Isak pants out, “I don’t wanna come, yet.” He breathes out, “I wanna be on you.”

“Don’t worry, baby.” Even says, “You can. And then you can come again, when you ride me.”

His legs seem to give out under him when Even’s thumb teases his entrance, pressing down just enough to make him whine, but not enough to go in. He whimpers, hopelessly turned on, back arching as Even moves his finger in deeper. It doesn’t take long after that for Isak to cum. Between Even’s mouth, and fingers, his orgasm nearly makes him collapse, only held together by Even’s hands.

Isak still feels impossibly wet when Even moves him off him, giving him seconds to breathe. He can’t help, but whimper again as he watches the condom come over him. His entire body is shining with the sweat, still warm from his orgasm.

“Fuck, Isak.” Even lets out, loud and encouraging, when Isak start to sit down on him, slowly meeting his hips

Isak’s thighs bunch as he lifts himself up, setting the pace for himself, making his own head spin with dizzying arousal. Even trails his fingers down his chest before wrapping them around him, giving himself a little bit of friction but keeping his grip loose. Isak grits his teeth, the sensitivity making it so much more intense.

Even starts shifting his own hips so he can meet Isak, thrust to thrust.  The sound of their bodies slamming together fill the room and Isak thinks he can come just from that alone.

He bounces faster, legs burning as he moves. He’s getting close, finding his way to  the edge when Even ed suddenly lifts him up and drops him down, pounding up and into him.

Isak grips onto Even tighter, fingernails digging into chest. His head falls backward, mouth open in a moan, loud and long. He feels his hair, curling over his forehead damp with sweat. Even’s hand reaches up, gripping Isak’s neck, so he can bring  him down to kiss him.

He kisses Even, messily as he works himself up and down tirelessly. Even’s probably just as loud as he is. His hands grip Isak tighter, pushing him down impatiently. Isak starts chasing the feeling again.

He watches Even’s face contort, pleasure washing through him. Isak has a similar look on his own face soon after.

Isak skin sticks to Even when he climbs off of him. Even their sweaty limbs reach and stretch to find one another.

“You’re really good at that.” Isak says, laying beside him.

“Are you trying to compliment me.” Even laughs.

“I don’t know.” Isak admits, “what else should I say?”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Even puts his arm around him, “I think you’ve said enough already.” He adds, “I’m sure the entire floor knows how good I am at that.”

Isak buries his face into Even’s shoulder.

“Don’t be embarrassed.” Even puts his finger under his chin so he can look at him

“You sound even better than you taste.“

“Even.” Isak whines, his face growing hot.

Satisfied by his own doing, he pulls Isak closer, close enough to whisper into his ear, “you’re so fucking delicious.”

He kisses him one last time before Isak settles into him, closing his eyes as he falls

asleep on his chest, slowly and safely.

***

 Saturday starts slow, Isak gradually waking up to a face-full of pillow and Even ‘s skin. He moves gently, careful not to wake the boy next to him. He manages to move to the foot of the bed without any noise. He reaches to pull a shirt off of Isak’s shirt when a pile of his books come collapsing down with it.

“You’re killing me.” Even says, his voice still thick from sleep.

“Sorry.” Isak quickly apologizes, pulling the tee shirt over him.

Even blinks away, laying on his back, staring up at the wall.

Isak moves closer to him, nothing something’s wrong, “Is everything okay?”

“Yea.” Even sighs, “I’m just tired.”

He yaws loudly, rubbing at his eyes to help wake him up. Isak looks around, trying to find something to cover himself up with.

“Don’t leave.” Even reaches froward.

“We can’t stay in here all day?” Isak laughs.

“Why not?” Even looks serious, “You could just sit on my cock, all day. We don’t even have to leave.” Even says. His smile so pure, Isak can’t believe how dirty his words are.

Isak pushes back on his chest, his cheeks feeling the heat circling around them.

“I like making you blush.” Even grins, pulling isak closer to him. He gets the sheet off of him. He quickly flips them over, getting Isak underneath him, “But I like  making you come even more.”

Just that easily, Isak falls back into bed.

Saturday becomes Sunday, and Isak hasn’t left his room in two days. The weekend is full of unread text messages, and pizza boxes. He doesn’t even wear clothes for most of it. The pile of work stays untouched, and forgotten.

Even’s bed is completely wrecked , dirty sheets pushed to the floor, wet and ruined without care. He’s lost count of how many times or in what ways Even has made him cum. He feels light, and heavy somehow a the same time. Burning even hotter every time Even touches him.

“I think you’re actually trying to kill me.” Isak breathe is pulled and windy.

Even looks up from where he is, in between his thighs.

He grimes moving up to kiss Isak.

“How are you still alive?” Isak only jokes hallway. After two days, Isak has never been more tired in his life.

“Do you see what you look like?” Even teases, “especially like this.”

Isak hasn’t looked in a mirror for days, but he’s pretty sure he knows what even’s talking about.

“I’m so lucky.” Even says, “Why did I waste all that time hating you.”

Isak pushes Even on his back, falling onto his chest.

“I think you’ve made up for it.” Isak smiles.

“I plan to.” Even grins back.

***

After the long weekend, Isak almost doesn’t even make it to class the next morning. His alarm goes off three times before Even finally turns it off.

“Are you trying to skip?” Even laughs.

Isak rolls over, realizing Even’s not next to him. He has hoodie and pair of shorts on. His shoes have mud splattered over the sides.

“Where did you go?” Isak asks.

 “Couldn’t sleep.” Even shirts, “went for a run. 

“At 6am?” Isak questions.

“Best time.” Even kicks his shows off 

He moves closer, his lips are cold, and wet 

“Is it raining?” Isak finally notices the raindrops sliding down the side of Even’s face 

“Storming.” Even tells him.

Isak peeks through the blinds, the dark grey sky shifting through the shutters.

“Fuck!” Isak jumps out of bed, “And I have class across campus today.”

He hurries around the room, scrambling to find clothing.

“Baby.” Even reaches outward him. He gets a hold of Isak’s waist, pulling him back into him.

“I have to go to class.” Isak says, but doesn’t move.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to change your mind.” Even whispers, his breathe travelling up Isak’s neck.

His lips meet the juncture between Isak’s neck and shoulder, kissing down him, pulling Isak’s sweatshirt down so more of his skin is on display.

“Just one class.” Even continues, bring a hand around him, sliding underneath his clothing until it’s pressing flatly against his stomach.

He holds Isak’s hips, rocking hims slowly back into him.

“I’ can’t.” Isak eventually breaks from the trance, Even manages to put him under.

He moves away, quickly grabbing his bag, so he can’t give in again.

“Alright.” Even smirks, “I’ll be here.”

“You’re not going to class?” Isak stop.

Even shrugs, “It’s one class.”

Isak thinks it’s strange; he hasn’t seen Even miss any of his courses since they’ve lived together. But the weather is even making Isak debate his attendance.  

“You’re gonna be late.” Even teases, pulling off his sweatshirt. It’s completely drenched, leaking onto their carpet, “Don’t forget your umbrella.”

It take a lot to convince himself to go to class, especially with Even grinding at him until he shuts the door. He curses himself even more as he steps into puddles, and slips on wet cobbled pathways.

Luckily all his classes are in the nicholson building, only having to tackle through flight of stairs and not sporadic rain clouds.

He’s running up the last flight in between the third and fourth floor, with three minutes left when his phone vibrates.

He groans aloud, as it reminds him he has swim practice tonight.

He has no time in between and his last class, to do anything, but grab his bag, and run to the gym. Even’s in the same position Isak had left him in this morning.

“Productive day?” Isak laughs.

“Where are you going?” Even asks.

“Gym.” He answers, quickly, grabbing his gym bag.

Even makes a face, “Have fun.”

Isak gives him a look, before he leaves, “Right.” he says sarcastically.

He doesn’t have much time to get to the gym. His body still feels somewhat sore from all the nights he spent with Even.

***

Practice runs late; they’ve been practicing so much that Isak spends most of his nights at the gym, and not with Even. He ignores it, the relief of the cold water helping to relax him.

The sky’s completely dark when the coach dismisses them. On his way out, Isak checks his phone, noticing the three unread texts from Even.

“Cute!” Eva laughs, looking over Isak’s shoulder, and at his phone.

Isak has one of Even’s messages opened; it’s a picture of him in bed with numerous question mark surrounding him.

He quickly shuts his phone off, scared of the other pictures Even has sent.

“I see things are going good between you two.” She teases.

“Yea.” Isak agrees.

“So.” Her face changes, “Even’s doing good?” Eva asks, seriously.

Isak doesn’t seem to understand, “Yes.” He sounds unsure, “Why?”

“He hasn't talked to Vilde, and she’s worried.”

“He’s fine.” Isak assures her, “We were just busy this weekend.”

Eva still looks skeptical, “He’s not acting weird or anything.”

“No.” Isak says, “He’s happy, and energetic.”

“Okay.” Eva believes him, “But will you tell him to call Vilde?”

“Sure. Yea.” Isak promises, “ See ya.”

“Have fun.” She winks before they diverge at the end of the sidewalk.

Isak laughs, running up the steps to his dorm. He doesn’t need to see the rest of those pictures, when Even’s waiting for him in bed.

Skin is all Isak sees when he opens the door. Soft white skin, yellow from the glow of the fluorescent lighting. Even’s completely naked, the music so loud, Isak doesn’t know why someone hasn’t come to get him to turn it down.

“Hi.” Isak laughs, closing the door behind him.

Even turns around slowly.

“Wanna join?” His eyebrows raises, turning the music just enough so he can hear Isak’s answer.

“Depends.” Isak says, letting his gym bag fall to the floor, “What are you doing?”

“I was working out, and it got hot.” Even says simply.

A gust of wind comes sharply in the room, swinging the blinds, letting Isak know they’re opened.

“You know those are see through right?” Isak says.

“Are you serious?” Even laughs, but doesn’t seem to care. He moves closer to the window, pulling the blinds opened higher, and hollers out it.

“You’re gonna get in trouble.” Isak moves, bringing the blinds back down, moving in front of the window so Even can’t reopen them.

Even laughs, “It’s only weird if you’re not naked to.”

Isak rolls his eyes, and lets Even pull off his shirt.

“You smell like chlorine.” Even says.

“Make me smell like you.” Isak pushes closer into him.

Isak picks him up, easily bringing Isak’s legs around him. He drops him onto the wooden desk, pushing off all of Isak’s things laying on top.

Isak would be upset if he wasn’t so into Even.

***

It feels like Isak has just fallen asleep when Even wakes him.

“Isak.” Even whispers, shaking him awake.

 

Isak groans loudly, eyes regretfully opening. The room's dark, but Even’s close enough to him that he can make out his face.

“Let's go.” He rushes out, trying to get Isak to move faster.

His limbs are heavy, his bed is warm, even Even cant get him out of bed.

“What time is it?” Isak asks, holding tightly to his comforter, his eyes falling shut.

“It’s time to get up.” Even urges him, “You’re wasting time.”.

“Even.” Isak groans. His voice is too loud, too energetic, too early for Isak.

“Isak.” Even repeats one last time, not taking no for an answer. Isak immediately meets the cold, when his blankets are ripped away, and Even is pulling a sleeping Isak out of bed. With much protest, Even somehow gets him into his shoes, and jacket, even managing to get a scarf around Isak’s neck. However, it isn’t until they’re in the light of Even’s car that Isak realizes that he hadn't managed to do the same to himself. Even’s dressed for the gym, not for a 3am adventure on a cold december night.

“Where are you going?” Isak finally asks. The sky’s completely dark, and it’s taking everything in Isak not to fall back asleep.

“It’s a surprise.” Even sounds happy. Isak looks over to find him smiling; he doesn’t look tired at all.  

The road’s empty, the sky’s dark, and when Even starts driving past the town, Isak realizes where they’re going. Isak doesn’t know how he’s managed to get the keys to the gym, but it excites him to know what else Even has planned. He’s beginning to wake up as they sneak into the building. They keep the lights off, easily find their way down to the basement.

The pool illuminates, soft blue waves gently rocking, inviting them to enter.

“Ready?” Even smiles, eyebrow raising as he looks at Isak.

He strips out of his clothing, with nothing on, he splashes into the pool. Isak would blush if he wasn’t freezing.

“Coming in?” Even shouts over to him.

The pool water hides nothing, but they’ve both seen everything there is to hide away.

“It’s freezing.” Isak looks around, hesitant.

“Not in here.” Even tries to persuade him.

Isak moves closer, leaning forward so he can dip his fingers in and  test the waters. His fingertips just meet the surface when Even launches forward, grabbing onto his wrist, and pulling him in. Isak lands face first in the water, fully clothed.

He screeches when he comes up for air, “Even!”

He hears Even’s laughing even before he has his head above it.

“I can’t believe-” Isak starts to say before Even takes a hold of his face, and kisses him before he can catch his breath.

Even releases him and swim back just to give him enough space, “Are you gonna swim in your clothes?”

Isak pouts, but pulls his clothes off anyway.

“You’re so beautiful.” Even swims around him.

“What.” Isak turns shy, but he can’t help, but smile.

“It’s true.””Even chuckles, “Do you want me to scream it?” He jokes, “I will. ISAK-” he starts to scream when the leans forwards, holding onto his shoulder “sh.”

“We’re all alone, we don’t have to be quiet.” He grins, his hand on the small of Isak’s back.

He kisses Isak once before he pulls back, “Race you.” Even challenges.

“Race?” Isak says, “This is what I do.”

“Scared of the competition.” Even starts to move towards the wall.

“No.” Isak says following him.

The line near the cement line. Even turns to look at him, “3.” he starts, “2.”

“One.” they both say in unison, pushing off the wall.

Isak slides through the depth, easily cutting his way further from their starting place. He can see the other side through a blurry haze, he’s not that far from it.

He’s nearly touching it when he feels a hand curve around his ankle, pulling him back. Isak tries to wrestle free, coming up to the service for air. He’s still tangled up in Even when he breaks through the surface.

“You cheated!” Isak gets out, a mouth full of water.

“You thought I was going to play fair?” Even swims closer. He laughs again, a loud crackle that reminds Isak of thunder.

As they swim passively in the water, Even pushes some of his wet strands from his face, “You make me feel so alive.” He squeezes in his hips

He kisses Isak until they’re lips stop shattering from the cold. Smalls clouds of breath disappear between them, twirling and fading into nothing.

“Ready for surprise #2?” Even asks.

Isak is confused. He doesn’t even know what time it is, but he’s sure Even doesn’t care.

Without an answer, Even swims to the wall, pulling himself out of the water. His clothes are dry, waiting for hm on the sidelines. Isak’s are heavy and west, dripping over the concrete.

“I’ll be right back.” Even tells him, not bothering to cover up as he walks to the locker room.

Isak waits patiently for him to return, not sure what he’s expecting. Even comes back with a towel large enough to devour Isak in. The tiled are cold underneath their feet, and the shivers run all the way through him. He has his wet clothes piled up in his hands, following Even into the locker room. Isak’s been in multiple gym rooms in his life, but never like this.

“I know I’ve got some extra clothes in here.” Even assures him, his towel hung low on his hips, “though, it’s just you and I, we don’t even need clothes”

“It’s freezing outside.” Isak reminds him.

Even shrugs, “I can never be cold when I’m with you.”

Isak can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. He doesn’t make any move to put on more clothes. Instead, he brings his hand around Isak, and pulls him closer. Despite the weather, Even feels warm, every touch burns and scratches. Isak feels more than a spark, he feels wildfires, and lightning strikes every time Even touches him.

Even quickly unzips his gym bag, pushing the clothing into Isak’s hands.

“Hurry.” He tells him, “This was only part one.”

Before Isak can ask, Even’s turning around, pushing off the towel and pulling on his own clothing. It’s a relief to see Even put on some layers. Isak follows, letting the large clothing swallow him in warmth and Even.

They’re both tying up their laces when they hear a door slam in the distance. They stare at each other in shock before Even goes out to look. Isak runs after him, not wanting to be alone in the empty room. Isak thinks it’s going to be the janitorial staff or even the gym’s owner ready to come and kick them out. He doesn’t expect to see Nicolai walking it. Isak can see Even’s knuckles go white when he grabs onto Isak so so tightly, Isak’s surprised nothing breaks.

He doesn’t even see Even coming until it's too late. Even’s first violently crashes into his face, and Isak swears he can hear the sound of bones and skin. When Even punches him the second time, blood spits out of his mouth. Isak can watch it drip off of Even’s skin. His fist cuts off Nicolai’s screaming, muffling it with his own pain. It doesn’t take long before Nicolai’s being pushed to the floor with Even climbing on top of him, relentlessly.

Isak screams, but doesn’t move. Even’s consumed with so much anger and energy, its finding its way out through his fists.

He’s not going to stop, Isak realizes. His hand are painted with blood, and it’s not going to stop.

The door slams open, scarring Isak, but it does nothing to Even. He keeps hitting Nicolai until the police have to force him off. He’s ragging angry even when the police constrain, pinning his arms behind his back. He struggles, until they have him handcuffed.

“Where are you taking him?” Isak has to run after the second cop.

“The hospital.” He answers, “We can’t arrest him until we know what’s wrong.”

“He’s not like this.” Isak tries to explain,”he’s not violent, I don’t what happened.”

The officer almost looks sorry for him, “go to the hospital. You’re gonna need help.”

He walks away with that, leaving Isak alone in the parking lot. He knows Even’s stuck in the backseat, while Nicolai’s being driven in the bed of an ambulance.

He watches the ambulance drive off, until the flashing lights disappear, and Isak’s completely alone. He looks around, the sun has begun to come up. Isak feels like every nerve inside of him has stopped, that even his own lungs have hardened and stopped. He wants to collapse into the cold, but he doesn’t even have to process what’s happened.

Isak nervously reaches the counter. The nurse behind the desk doesn’t look interested to see him. She looks at him, waiting for Isak to answer. “I’m looking for Even

Isak’s hands don’t stop shaking, not even when he grabs the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white. All he can can think about is Even. He’s seen Even fight, and he knows what Even’s capable of, but he’s never seen him express it.

The elevator moves so slowly, Isak can’t wait to get out of it. The large colorful signs lead Isak to the emergency room, and Isak can finally let out a breath of relief when he finds it.

“Even Bech Naeshim.” he manages to get out, “They just bought him in.”

“Are you family?” She finally speaks.

“No.” Isak shakes his head.

“Are you his emergency contact?”

Isak repeats his answer.

She sighs, loudly. “We can’t give you any information then.”

“Who is his emergency contact?” Isak asks.

“Can’t tell you.” She glances up, and then, quickly back at her computer screen.

“The police said” Isak begins to say when the woman cuts him off. “If you’re not listed, I can’t tell you anything.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Isak almost shouts. The frustration is ratting in his voice, echoing down the hallway, loud enough for everyone to here, “Please. I need to know if he’s okay.”

His breath cuts through in silence. He’s trying his hardest not to let the tears come through when he hears a familiar voice on the other side of the hospital lobby. He turns around, and immediately sees the blonde hair and pajamas stuck behind the counter. Vilde.

Isak doesn’t even realize he’s shouting her name until she looks back at him in response.

“Is he okay?” Is the first things she says to him as they race to meet in the middle.

“No one’s telling me anything.” Isak tells her, “How did you know? Did Even call you? Do you know if he’s alright?”

Vilde shakes her head, “the hospital did. I’m his emergency contact.”

She looks to be in a rush, leaving Isak to get back to the nurses for information. Isak watches as they talk, Vilde doesn’t blink at all.

He rushes back to her, just as she finishes. He waits for answers, and Vilde’s looking at him like she’s waiting for the same thing. They sit in the lobby, the hard wooden back chair don’t make it anymore welcoming.

“We were alone and swimming, and then, Nicolai showed up .” He begins, “It happened so fast. One minute he’s next me, and then he’s up against Nicolai. I tried to get him to stop, but it’s like I couldn’t get through to him.”

“And then?”

“He just wouldn’t stop.” Isak exhales, “the police came. Nicolai was bloody, and Even wasn’t listening.” Isak tries to remember. The scenes violently replay for him, “Then, he got arrested.”

Vilde listens, nodding silently.

“What was he like before?” Vilde asks.

“He was happy, excited.” Isak tells her.

Vilde looks at him strangely, “Excited?”

“Yea.” Isak goes on, “Like he didn’t even want to sleep.”

“But he was, right?” Vilde stops him.

“It’s college.” Isak shrugs, “even I don’t sleep sometimes.”

“It’s different.” Vilde argues, but stops herself. She looks at Isak apologetically, “He wasn’t sleeping?”

“I don’t think so. At least not much.” Isak admits. As he starts to think, Even’s behavior doesn’t start to make sense, “He wasn’t going to class either.” Isak says, beginning to understand what Vilde is putting together.

“I’m sorry.” He blurts, “I should have known. I just thought we-” Isak voice breaks.

“It’s not your fault.” Vilde tells him, “If Even wanted you to know, he would have told you.”

Isak nods silently, rethinking the past view days. Neither of them say anything for a long time. They wait, watching other patients come and go, but no one has mentioned Even. Isak’s falling in and out of sleep when Vilde finally speaks.

“Go home.” Vilde tells him. Isak has only had three hours of sleep, but he can’t leave. He hasn’t even looked at the time, but he knows he’s missed his morning classes. He can’t tell how long they’ve been in the waiting room.

“It’s fine.” Isak tells her, even though his eyes are closing themselves.

“Go. They don’t let anyone see him for the first seventy-two hours.” She says, “They never do.”

Isak’s too tired to argue, he feels like he’s too tired to drive too, but somehow he makes it back on campus. He can’t stand the sight of his dorm room, so he climbs up the stair to Mahdi’s and Magnus’s. He knocks for a long time, but neither of them answers. Isak’s so exhausted he could collapse right there. He almost does.

Instead, he walks on, to the one person he knows will answer. He doesn’t have to wait long before the door creaks open.

Isak doesn’t say anything, but neither does Jonas. He falls forward, right into him.

***

Isak wakes from a loud shuffling coming from the other side of the room. When his eyes first open, he doesn’t know where he is. When he finally recognizes he’s in Jonas’s dorm, he looks around looking for him. Except Jonas isn’t the one making the noise, it’s his roommate.

“Where did I put it!”He says to himself.

He looks over and finds Isak awake, “Sorry man.” Yousef apologizes when he notices Isak staring back at him, “I can’t find my book.”

Isak yawns, “It’s alright. I need to get up anyway.” He moves up to sit on the edge of the bed. “Have you seen Jonas?” He asks.

Yousef is still shifting though his things when he answers, “Not since this morning. I know he has class until 3.”

“Here it is!” Yousef shouts, clutching his book from underneath a pile of loose papers on his desk. He looks over at Isak and smiles, “How are you doing?” He starts, “Sana told me what happened with Even.”

Isak nods silently. He isn’t sure how to answer. He’s though so much of Even, that he hasn’t taken the time to think about himself.

“Even’s a good guy. He’s strong, he’ll pull through.” Yousef assures him.

“Have you known him for long?” Isak asks.

“No.” Yousef admits, “but some people, you just know. Even’s one of those guys.”

Isak shakes his head, that’s what everyone says.

“Well.” Yousef sighs, “I’ve got class. See you.”

He waves one last time before he shuts the door. Isak sits there, tiredly. He has an entire screen of unread texts and miscalls. Half of them are from Mahdi, and the other half are from Eva. Even Eskild’s name across the screen. The only one who doesn’t appear is Vilde. All the others don’t seem to matter.

When Isak hears the door, letting his phone shut off.

“You’re up.” Jonas steps in.

“Yea.” Isak doesn’t know what else to says, “Thanks, again.”

Jonas moves to sit on his desk, “How’s Even?”

“Stable. I think.” He answers, “They didn’t tell me anything. And Vilde hasn’t called me.”

“Are you okay?” Jonas asks.

Isak falls back onto Jonas’s bed, “I’m so fucking tired.”

He stares up at the ceiling, he still feels heavy from the exhaustion.

“I can’t go back to the dorm. It’s not right.”Isak confesses, “It’s like he wasn’t even in control.” He doesn’t want to remember, but his mind forces the images back into his mind.

“You don’t have to go.” Jonas says, “You can sleep here. If you need to.”

“Thanks.”

Isak doesn’t leave.

***

Isak spends the rest of the week in Jonas’s room, not bothering to do anything, but wait for Vilde’s call. After the first two days, he calls her, waiting for an update, but she doesn’t answer. Not even when he calls her six consecutive times after that.

Finally when the number reaches ten, she texts him. “He got released, but he’s not ready to see you.” Isak reads it more times than he realizes, staring at his screen until the words become blurry.

Isak feels everything tighten and twist inside him.

***

 It only takes one more day before Mahdi and Magnus come knocking on Jonas’s door. He stays hidden under Jonas’s comforter, letting Jonas answer it for him.

“Where’s Isak?” Magnus says as soon as the door open.

“He’s not feeling well.” Jonas says instead.

“He’s here?” Mahdi tries to push past him, but Jonas stops him.

“He is.” Jonas stops him, “He doesn’t want to see anyone right now.”

“Let us in.” Manus tries.

Jonas still doesn’t move.

“Isak.” Magnus calls out for him. He stays silent.

“He doesn’t want to see anyone.” Jonas repeats 

“We’re his friends.” Mahdi sounds frustrated 

“So be his friends.” Jonas says simply, “And give him time. And space.” He finishes, slamming the door right in front of them. Still they pound on the door, “Jonas! Open the door!.”

“You should talk to your friends.” Jonas says, “They’re worried about you.”

“They’re always worried about me.” Isak mutters.

Jonas walks to his desk, “You know you eventually have to talk them, and go to class, and back to your dorm.”

“I know.” Isak says, “but not today.”

“So, when?” Jonas asks.

Isak sits up, “If you want me to go, I’ll go.” He jumps off Jonas’s bed, opening the door like he’s going to walk out of it when Jonas stops him. He slaps his palm to it, shutting it before Isak can get it opened any further.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” He turns Isak back around to face him. “You can stay here.” He reminds him, “As long as you need.”

Jonas had moved so close to him to get him to stop, that Isak hadn’t realized how close. And he suddenly, remembers how good it feels to have someone pressed up against him, especially Jonas. He feels so lonely, but even being Jonas makes him feel guilty.

“Has he called you?” Isak asks, when the silences stretches far between them.

“No.” Jonas answers.

Isak steps out from underneath him, “Me either.”

“He needs time time, Isak.” Jonas says softly,”like you.”

“Is he with Vilde?” He asks.

“I don’t know.” Jonas shrugs, “Probably. She’s his best friend.”

“She hasn’t called me either.” Isak lets him know.

“She’s got him, Isak.” Jonas reassures him, “You need to start worrying about yourself.”

***

Isak doesn’t listen to Jonas’s advice, he hides away in Jonas’s dorm instead. He can’t help himself, his fingers finding their way across Isak’s phone until Even flashes across his screen. His heart races every second he has to listen to the dial tone. When Even doesn’t answer, Isak tries again. It’s after the third ring, the dial tone ends, and the phone clicks in an answer. Silence replaces the tone. Isak freezes, his vice caught up in his own throat.

“I know you’re there.” Isak voice breaks, “Even.”

Still, he says nothing.

“Please, come back.” sak starts, “Even, I lov-” he starts to say when the dial tones return; Even hung up.

Isak throws his phone, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. He uses the back of his hands to wipe them away. Even’s gone, Isak realizes.

***

“You’re not going to class today?’ Jonas asks as he makes it out of bed. It’s early enough in the morning that Isak could still make it on time if he really wanted to.

“No.” Isak responds, turning over to pull the blanket over him.

“That’s four days.” Jonas says, “you’ve missed the entire week.

Isak doesn’t say anything, he doesn't even move. He hears Jonas sigh, defeatedly just before he walks out the door.

He pretends to be asleep when Yousef comes in later in the day. He can hear him and Sana whisper to one another.

“Is he okay?” Sana asks.

“I don’t know. He’s been like this all week.”

“Is there something we should do?”

“Jonas said he’s trying.”

Their conversation ends, and the door shuts and quietly as possible.

When it reopens, Isak thinks they’ve returned, but Jonas Comes quickly in, rushing out a “This isn’t my fault. She yelled at me until I told her you were here!”

Isak doesn’t understand what he’s talking about until Eva’s rushing in,“You missed practice! Again!” She yells out him, her face is screwed up in anger, “We have a game!”

“Even was in the hospital.” Isak reminds her. He doesn’t have the energy to fight with her.

“A week ago, Isak!” She yells, “We’re two weeks away from nationals.”

“I don’t care; I can’t even focus! All I can think about is Even and whether or not he’s okay, and how  it’s my fault he isn’t!”

The silence snaps between like a breathe pulled back in. Isak’s just admitted everything he’s been afraid to.

“We’re all worried about him.” Eva yells back, “But Even’s going through some things, and he has to figure that out by himself. And he has Vilde, Isak! You can’t put your entire life aside, waiting for him to come back.”

Isak looks at Jonas, but Eva steps in front of him, blocking his view. She’s said everything everyone has been telling him.

“C’mon. You can’t miss the game. You’ll be out.” She grabs his wrist, “C’mon.”

Isak lets Eva drag him across campus, without much a fight. He feels even worse when they’re standing in front of the coach, two minutes after the competition has begun. He’s angry, but Isak and Eva are top of the team, they have to compete.

Isak wishes he hadn’t.

He loses both of the rounds he’s swimming in. And by the end of the night, he doesn’t care, not about his track record, or even about his place on the team. At that point, his scholarship isn't even on his mind.

“Isak.” Eva says softly when he leaves the locker room. He ignores her, pulling on his coat, nearly running out of the building.

“Isak!” She yells after him.

Isak doesn’t listen, and runs back to Jonas.

“I wanna get drunk.” Isak says, “really fucking drunk.”

“The game didn’t go well?” Jonas asks.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Isak drink the shitty alcohol Jonas has stuck in their mini fridge freezer. He even makes his way through the warm beer he has in his dresser. Yousef is somewhere with his girlfriend, so they’ve been alone all night.

“I know you don’t wanna talk about Even.” Jonas starts, “but you two together, that’s so fucking weird.”

“Were a thing.” Isak corrects him. He’s too drunk to be having this conversation now.

“Still weird.” Jonas sips.

“Yea. I guess.” Isak follows, “that’s why it’s over.” Hearing it aloud, doesn’t make it an easier deal with it.

“Were you like with him when you were with me?” Jonas asks.

“No.” Isak says quickly, “Well.” He stops himself, “Remember on halloween when you didn’t come?”

Jonas nods.

“That’s when it started.”

“Seriously? In the skirt?” Jonas laughs even louder.

Isak’s forgotten he wore that, but nods for an answer.

“Fuck, lucky him!”

Isak pushes on his shoulder, blushing brightly with the warmth of the alcohol.

“I wore that for you.” Isak lets slips out before he can stop himself, “and you didn’t even show.”

“You can wear it again.” Jonas looks at him, “I’m here now.”

Isak’s so caught up in the moment, he forgets Jonas was the one who ended this. He’s looking at Isak like he used to, like he wants him. In that moment, that’s all Isak wants. He pushes the guilt back,  and meets Jonas’s eyes.

“I thought.” Isak starts over, “You said you didn’t want me.”

“I said I didn’t want a relationship.” He reminds him.

“Why?” Isak blurts out, “We had it all, but the name.”

"Are we gonna do this again?” Jonas sounds annoyed.

“No.” Isak says softly, but it’s the truth. He doesn’t want to be broken up with all over again. Except, there’s so much liquor pulsing inside Isak that he’s nearly swimming it, and it can’t stop him from making the same mistakes.

He throws himself against Jonas, quickly reaching down to get his zipper down.

Jonas moves closer, hands pushing up Isak’s shirt, just when he’s closer to his lips, Isak stops him, “You can’t kiss me.” Isak gets out, head tilting backwards as Jonas moves down his neck instead.

There’s cracks in the ceiling above it, long lines splintering the tiles. There’s cracks, broken pieces forcing their way apart.

Isak’s shirt comes off, and then Jonas’s, and soon there's a pile of clothing at the foot of his bed. They haven’t lost everything, but enough to touch. Being with Jonas doesn’t feel right, but if Isak closes his eyes, and tries hard enough, he can focus on what does.

“Isak.” Voices come shouting through the door, accompanied by loud knocking.

“What the fuck.” Jonas rolls his eyes, looking at the door. “Not again.”

Even as drunk as he is, Isak can recognize it’s Magnus and Mahdi.

“It’s for you.” Jonas laughs, moving off of Isak.

This time Isak gets up.

“What are you doing?” He hisses, swinging the door open.

“Leaving.” Magnus says immediately, “With you.” He reaches trying to pull Isak out the door.

“No.” Isak snaps back, moving out of his grasp.

Mahdi lets out a long sigh, “Isak. C’mon.”

“What about Even.” Magnus tries to remind  him.

“Even doesn’t care about me.” Isak yells, “He hasn’t called or talked to me.”

“And Jonas broke up with you.” Magnus yells. Isak can tell he’s frustrated, and exhausted. Neither of them have been home since the party. Isak knows they’ve probably been looking for him since they left.

“You can’t break up with someone you never dated.” Isak drunkenly fights back,

“Even left me.”

“We can fight about this in the morning.” Mahdi tells him, “but you’re not staying with Jonas anymore.”

It’s then Jonas interrupts, “What are you two? His bodyguards.” He laughs sarcastically.

“We can be.” Magnus steps forwards, stepping right into Jonas’s face.

Jonas smirks, “You don’t wanna do that.”

“You don’t wanna tell me what to do.” Magnus snaps back. When it looks like something will happen, Mahdi pushes them apart, “Not now, Mags.” He turns to Isak for one last attempt, “Come home.”

He hears Jonas laugh from behind him, “Are you serious?”

The three of them only stare, Isak’s still drunk, but fighting with his friends is starting to sober him up.

“Isak knows what he’s doing.” Jonas says, “He can make his own choices.”

Choices. Isak thinks to himself; it’s exactly what Even said.

“I wanna go home.” Isak finally speaks.

“Isak.” Jonas tries, “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” He’s sure.

Stepping out of Jonas’s is nerve wracking. He’s spent a week buried in Jonas’s room, leaving it means having to confront everything he’s been able to shut the door in front of.

He’s basically walked to his dorm room but his friends, clumsily finding his way up the stairs, “I don’t need you guys watching me.”

“You haven’t been to class, or swim practice,. You haven’t even left Jonas’s for days.” Mahdi lists out, “Someone has to make sure you’re okay.”

“I am okay.” Isak tries to convince everyone in the room, including

himself.

“You’re sleeping with Jonas.” Magnus lets out, “you’re not okay.”

“I’m not sleeping with Jonas.” Isak defends himself, “You two interrupted us before anything could happen.”

“Good.” Magnus says, “Even-”

“What about him?” Isak shouts, “He left me.”

“He needs time to get better.”

“Without me?”

“It’s like that sometimes.” Mahdi says softly, “It doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

“Then why do I keep feeling like it is.”

“You miss him.” Magnus explains, “It’s okay, if you do. You just can’t let that sadness take over.”

“I miss him.” Isak cries out, “What if he never comes back? What if he doesn’t want to be with me anymore.”

“He will.” Mahdi tries to make it sound like a promise.

His friends don’t have answers, but they have comfort, and love. And, Isak doesn’t feel so alone.

***

 Isak sleep for a very long time, the sun shining in his eyes gently teases him awake. Mahdi and Magnus are right there with bright smiles to help him up. 

“We’re gonna go get breakfast in town today.” Mahdi says, with no room for Isak to reject the offer. 

“Okay.” Isak gives in. He hasn’t eaten properly in days, he’s almost looking forward to it. 

“I want to grab something from my room first.”

It’ll be the first time he’s been in it since Even left.

“Hurry!” Magnus tells him, “I don’t wanna miss brunch!”

He listens to his friends, quickly making his way up the flights of stairs. He’s walking down his hallway when his phone starts to ring. He thinks it’s Magnus calling to rush him again, when he sees Vilde’s name in bold.

“Vilde?” Isak sounds worried.

“Isak.” She says back.

“Is everything okay?” he rushes out.

“Even’s fine.” She assures him, “It’s just.” She starts, “He’s not coming back.” She says.

“I know.” Isak says, “he needs time.”

“No, Isak.” She stops him, “he’s not going back to the dorms.”

Isak doesn’t understand what she means, until he walks in. The mess usually taking over Even’s desk is gone. Even the clothes usually piled up around their room are missing. Isak feels like the air has been stolen right from him at the sight of the bare mattress.

“I’m really sorry, Isak.” Vilde says right before she hangs up, and Isak’s left in the emptiness.


End file.
